


Would you hate me if I did it?

by Lambardo



Series: Boys in love [5]
Category: Danny Gonzalez - Fandom, Drew Gooden - Fandom, Kurtis Conner - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Comfort/Angst, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Multi, Polyamory, Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Coercion, Sexual Coercion is by Original Character, Threesome - M/M/M, good communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 44,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26799169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lambardo/pseuds/Lambardo
Summary: Danny, Drew and Kurtis meet up with Cody and Noel to film a video in an old, abandoned- possibly haunted house. The backdrop makes for a great set piece, but it does a poor job of hiding it's owners secrets. Drew is acting weird, the owner wants to negotiate a trespassing suit with Danny, and Cody is hitting on Kurtis? Let's jump right into it guys!
Relationships: Cody Ko & Kurtis Conner, Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Danny Gonzalez/Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner/Danny Gonzalez, Kurtis Conner/Drew Gooden/Danny Gonzalez
Series: Boys in love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765504
Comments: 34
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, 
> 
> Sorry for the delay. I had an idea, a dark idea. It took hold of me and actually made me it’s bitch. This is not that idea. I wrote some of it, and it was real angsty then I *agonized* over whether I should post it. Ultimately, I decided against it, because I write RPF and real people can be hurt by things that one writes on the internet. (Speaking of which: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if anyone needs this taken down for any reason please let me know!)
> 
> This decision left me with some hefty re-writes and it took me a while to get out of the headspace I was originally in, and into a place where I could write this.
> 
> While I was taking a break from this series, I actually finished an original story (loosely based on some of the characterization in these stories. The similarities will be obvious to anyone who’s read this one. Haha.) I’m trying to get the manuscript to a place where it’s maybe good enough to show the world and I’m looking for beta readers. Keep reading if you’re curious about this, otherwise skip to Part 5 of this wacky and wild series. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Untitled original story is less sexy than these, no smut (yet), at least until I can determine what market I’m writing for. Lol. So if you’re interested in reading it, please send me an email (therarewords@gmail.com) and I’ll set us up to talk through discord or something.
> 
> I don’t have a good blurb to explain what exactly the original story is about since I’m trying not to spoil a twist, but it’s M/M, vaguely supernatural, and one of the characters is very much based on Kurtis. Haha. It’s only 50k so not a gigantic undertaking either. If there are any authors who are interested I’d be happy to trade and beta your work in return. 
> 
> So yeah. Hit me up if you want to read an original story or just enjoy this one! Also happy Spooktober- this idea worked out well for posting around now.

HAUNT SET AHEAD  
NO UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL  
BEYOND THIS POINT

Headlights reflected off the bright white of the sign. The corrugated plastic was strapped to a pole beneath a ‘no thru road’ sign. The sun was easing into its golden afternoon glow, only just dim enough to warrant the use of the headlights. The arid scrub-brush of the foothills rattled with a gentle breeze.

Kurtis’ stomach shivered and his skin prickled like the shrubbery in the wind. 

“Keep following the signs.” Drew instructed Danny, who took the left down the dead-end road. The car ride had been quiet. Danny and Kurtis had been passing the buzzing bundle of nervousness back and forth, for the past hour. 

“I wonder what they’re actually going to call it.” Danny remarked, trying to distract himself from what was ahead. 

“Fright-tent” Kurtis said without thinking. “Like Frightened and Content… Mm that is not good.”

Danny laughed at the way Kurtis struggled to find the right word-mash. They traded suggestions back and forth. All their ideas were terrible.

“Pretty sure it’s going to be the Haunt with TMG,” Drew stated, effectively ending the unpleasantly-punny title bidding war.

“Eh-” Danny replied. “They could do better.”

The road gave way to gravel as the car pulled in, next to a barn. Danny parked, and they clambered out. There were people here and there, tents and tables with cameras and recording equipment. Why did everything in LA have to be such a production?

Coming round the side of the barn they came face to face with a mansion, it was built in an old Victorian style and its gothic exterior clashed with the warm gold of the hills surrounding. It must’ve had a third story's worth of dormers jutting out of the roof and a covered porch wide enough that you could drive a car down it.

“How did they find this place?” Kurtis asked, marveling at the looming structure. It wasn’t truly Victorian, it was a modern mimic, but clearly owned by someone with a taste for drama.

“Apparently it was built like twenty years ago, by some millionaire couple. The husband died, like, immediately, and it was too big for the wife to live in by herself.” Noel Miller’s voice carried up towards the building, and Kurtis turned towards the sound. “So it’s been sitting empty since then.”

Flowerbeds and shrubbery were overgrown and half dead around the house, but the barn looked well maintained. Noel seemed to notice Kurtis’ assessment of the lands and offered further explanation. Apparently, the outbuildings and fields were rented out to horse-owners, while the main house stayed abandoned.

“They fucked something up with the plumbing too. There’s a well for the barn, but the well isn’t good enough for the house to run off.” Noel went on. “Also hi,”

“Hi,” Danny responded. “You didn’t exactly answer Kurtis’ question though. “How the hell did you get permission to shoot here?”

“Cody knows this chick who was dating the son of the people that own it. They’re hardly charging us anything.” 

“Where is Cody?” Drew asked, looking around the side of the house where there were tents and temporary lights set up in preparation for the setting sun.

“Getting suited up.” Noel responded. Then led them over to the tent where Cody was being fitted with a microphone.

“Hey guys,” Cody greeted them eagerly. “It’s been a while. Did you end up going to that party the other night?”

“Mhm.” Drew replied with a tight nod, and Kurtis just barely stifled a laugh. “It was wild.”

Noel laughed and shook his head, “Sounds like we missed a good one.”

“Any good stories?” Cody asked, as someone started fitting Noel in the same get up.

“Nope.” Drew lied, and Kurtis coughed instead of laughing, scrubbing the smile off his face with the back of his hand. After the production assistant finished with Noel, they started on Danny.

“So, how’s this going to work?” Danny asked, passing a wire under his plain white t-shirt up to his collar.

“The ‘axe murderer’ is going to get a five minute head start.”

“Oh good.” Drew deadpanned.

“The axe murder has a light, and the cameras will follow his progress, but otherwise it’s going to be pretty dark.”

“How’d you get enough equipment to do every room?” Drew asked. 

“Begged, borrowed, and rented.” Noel replied. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually shooting at night,” Danny commented. “You realize you can edit darkness in, in post.”

“But you can’t edit in genuine fear.” Cody responded. “We did a poll through patreon, and people said they’d be fine with just audio, for the down parts as long as they got real fear for the scares.”

Drew huffed a half-laugh. 

“They’ll get to watch the ‘killers progress’ through the house,” Noel explained. “And they’ll be able to see on like a floor plan where each of us are. Then we’ll do some reality show type interviews afterwards.”

“So- we’re all going to enter the house at different points.” Cody interjected. “Whoever finds their flag, and makes it back out of the house, without being killed, wins.”

Kurtis felt a production assistant tying a purple band to his arm. She moved on to Danny, who’s coloured band matched his eyes.

“So my flag is blue?” Danny asked.

“Yeah, and they said they were pretty obvious, like they shouldn’t be in drawers or anything.” Cody responded. “It’ll be like a pink scrap just sitting on a table.” referencing the colour of his band.

“And the colours correspond with what colour your dot will be on the map,” Noel added. “Like I’ll be yellow, Drew will be green.” 

“What colour is the killer?” Kurtis asked.

“Dunno, black or red or some shit.”

“What do we get if we win?” Danny asked. 

“A million…” Drew teased, “subscribers.”

“All bots.” Cody promised. “Bragging rights.”

“You get the real axe.” Noel said, and Cody laughed.

“Yeah, you get to kill everyone else,” Cody continued to explain. “So that you’re the only one left for people to watch.”

“And no one will press charges?” Danny asked.

“We’ll be dead.” Kurtis quipped. Danny laughed, and conceded the point. 

“Alright, let’s do this!” Cody said, all five of them were fitted with arm bands and microphones. The game could finally begin.

“Uhm-” Kurtis murmured, before they could start out towards the house. Cody and Noel turned on him, and the question nearly died in his throat. “What happens if we get murdered…?”

“Purely hypothetically.” Drew added. 

“Not for us, but you know- in case you get murdered.” Danny prompted.

Cody and Noel laughed. “You just gotta lay down on the dusty ass floor, like a corpse, until somebody wins.” 

“You’re kidding.” Drew said. “That’s bullshit.” 

“Sorry dude.” Cody said with a shrug. “We don’t make the rules.”

“You do. This is your show.” Drew countered, and they all laughed. They filmed a quick intro to the video while they still had the light, and then Kurtis was led away to a door at the back of the house, near a similarly gothic gazebo. At least he didn’t get the creepy cellar entrance like Danny did. 

The killer was already a couple minutes into his head-start, which left Kurtis stressfully waiting for the airhorn that would signal him to enter the haunted house.

Kurtis wondered where he ranked as far as bravery, relative to the other commentary Youtubers. Danny’s fear was the most obvious, it was right there under the humour he used to mask it. Cody’s was also poorly disguised beneath the cocky confidence he wore. Drew was used to smothering anxiety, so his was the most difficult to detect. If he hadn’t told Kurtis that he was nervous about this, Kurtis would never have known. 

Kurtis couldn’t get a good read on Noel, but he silently prayed that the older man would be a big baby, so that Kurtis wouldn’t be the only one shitting his pants in the house.

The airhorn blew well before Kurtis was mentally prepared. He hesitated with a hand on the knob. The cool evening breeze lifted the hairs on the back of his neck, like the breath of a ghost standing behind him. The hair-raising whisper encouraged him to back out of this completely. 

“Here we go.” He said, loud enough for the microphone to pick up. “Hope there isn’t an axe murderer in here.”


	2. Chapter 2

The air in the house was cold. There were curtains pulled tight over the windows. Some evening light crept in around their edges, but once the door clicked shut, Kurtis was blinded. He was given a small, red flashlight but didn’t turn it on. Instead opting to let his eyes adjust to the low light.

Slowly the dark room came into focus. It was a small breakfast nook, one meant to look out over the garden and gazebo. His ears pricked for sound, he distantly heard, a voice, probably someone talking into their mic, and maybe a door. 

He crept further inside, and found a blue scrap of cloth sitting in the middle of the table. Did they go over what to do if you found someone else’s flag? He decided to leave it. Maybe he’d tell Danny if he ran into him. Was that allowed?

He spotted a light down the hall ahead. Kurtis panicked and dropped down behind a counter to hide. His heart crashed into gear, beating loud in his ears, as he listened for footsteps, and watched the glow blossom bigger and wider as it approached. 

A cupboard handle dug into his spine. The footsteps stopped. An achingly long second passed. Then there was a far off creak.

The light retreated, and Kurtis stayed pressed back against the panel. He dropped his hand away from his mouth and sucked a few breaths, he lifted the mic closer to his mouth. 

“That was close.” He whispered, his voice had a waver to it that was bordering on embarrassing. Kurtis shook himself. 

_Not a real axe murderer._

He got to his feet as quietly as he could, and looked around the room one last time. The hall where the killer had stood was a deeper dark than the room he was in. His stomach turned with discomfort, at the prospect of going out where there was nowhere to hide. 

But his feet carried him there anyways.

He crept down the hall at a snail's pace, it was hardwood, and he had to deliberately soften his footfalls in order to keep quiet. There was a set of tracks running down the length of it that he traced back. He looked in on a contained kitchen with false-antique appliances, and debated flicking on his light.

He clicked the button, and the sound felt like it echoed down the long hallway. 

“Purple?” He whispered, to himself.

There was no purple. He continued searching like that. Careful, quiet steps, peek in, Click-click.

“Purple?”

He checked a bathroom, a dining room, and two different sitting rooms. The first was empty, the second was furnished.

“Ah!” Kurtis whispered, giggling to himself at a couch with a sheet thrown over it. “Sofa ghost.”

A crash. His heart thudded. Someone shouted. Kurtis ducked into a room on the other side of the hall, and very carefully clicked the door. His breaths came in great heaving gasps. 

“Fuck.” He breathed. “Am I allowed to swear?” 

Someone must have knocked something over, or run into the axe murderer, or both.

It was pitch black, where he hid. Kurtis risked clicking on his flashlight, and discovered he was at the top of the stair that led down to the basement-cellar. He couldn’t even see the bottom step. His stomach sunk, he really didn’t want to go down there.

But the crash had definitely come from the main floor, the one he was on. And it was too close for comfort. He peeked out into the hall and realized that the basement door was set in the other set of stairs leading up to the top floor. It looked brighter up there- maybe there were skylights.

It looked infinitely more attractive than the very dark, very creepy basement-cellar. He decided that he would most definitely prefer to go upstairs. The first step creaked, loud. He heard footsteps. His heart took off again, and he took the steps two at a time. Someone heard, they were coming.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

He froze at the top of the stairs, there was nowhere to hide. Kurtis heard the creak of a spring, then a hand on his wrist. He nearly shouted, but there was a calloused hand over his mouth. He stumbled back into a very dark space. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He barely heard the shadow speak over his screaming lungs. The heat of a body radiated into his shivery spine, as a slatted closet door was eased shut in front of him.

The footsteps grew louder, there was a light coming. His heart stuttered and hammered as he silently panicked. The hand tightened over his mouth. He was breathing too hard, too loud. The shadow stripes of the slats fell over his eyes as the killer crept closer.

The other hand of the man behind him, gently traced his waist as if to hush or soothe him. It did neither. Instead it sent sharp shockwaves through him. They reverberated and coalesced in his core. 

He caught sight of the “axe murderer” for a half of a second. The hand gripped his waist, urging him to hold still and quiet, not to give them away. With a pulse, Kurtis realized he was halfways hard.

The light faded, and the slits steadily darkened. The hand left his mouth for a half second, only long enough for the shadow to spin him around. Then it pressed down again as they heard a particularly loud footstep farther down the hall

Cody's dark eyes and hot breath were an inch away. His breath wasn’t coming in short terrified huffs, like Kurtis’. Perhaps he'd underestimated him. There was a shelf pressing into his back. Two grown men didn’t fit in the single square foot of non-shelf space of the linen closet. 

Cody projected so much goddamn heat, it was nearly suffocating. Or maybe it was the fucking hand over his mouth. He stuck his tongue out, and tasted salt. 

“-ey” Cody whispered in outrage. “You’re welcome.”

Kurtis just stuck his tongue out farther and made a face. “Why are you so fucking hot?” He murmured. It was met with a breathy laugh.

“Mm- sorry.” Cody replied. His voice got low and cocky. “Did I awaken a kink?” 

Kurtis huffed at the quip, trying to ignore it, hoping that his body wouldn’t use it to fuel the fear boner he was sporting. “Is he gone?”

“Yeah, but now he’s up here.” Cody replied. “And your flag isn’t.”

Kurtis groaned quietly. “Are you sure?”

“I mean you’re welcome to look around but I only saw yellow and green.” 

Kurtis breathed a quiet curse. “What are you doing then?”

“I was going to go look for mine downstairs, before you came along.” 

Kurtis tilted his head back, and it thunked on the shelf behind him. “Fuck.” 

Cody was silent for a moment. They both listened. They heard footsteps steady and close but not close enough that they could see the light. Perhaps lurking near the stair to catch someone coming up or going down.

“Welp, see ya.” Cody said, and reefed open the closet door. He shut it behind him, and darted down the stairs. Kurtis heard three distinct creaks, then the clatter of footsteps. The light appeared, it raced past him after Cody, and descended the stair. 

There was running, then a thud, and a shout. 

“Motherfucker.” He heard Drew clear as day, probably at the foot of the stairs. He snorted a laugh to himself, and when the commotion had died down, he eased open the closet door for himself.

He looked down the perfectly safe moon-lit upper hallway. “My flag isn’t up here…” He murmured, debating whether to take Cody at his word. 

But the killer was definitely on the main floor now.

Which meant the killer wasn’t in the basement. Should he try the basement? Kurtis spun on his heel, and went to stand at the top of the stair. It was dark and quiet at the bottom.

_Fuck it._

Kurtis clattered down, and dipped into the door to the cellar. He froze at the top again. He shivered and listened. Wherever the killer was, he clearly wasn’t in earshot of that one creaky step. Kurtis pressed his back to the panels of the door, and clicked on his little red flashlight. There was a handrail, which he subconsciously held onto, for moral support through his descent.

Of course they’d hide his flag in the basement. Unless they didn’t- in which case fuck them for making him check the basement. There was a short hall, and three doorways at the base of the stair. The first led to a theatre room, with eighteen seats. Kurtis marveled at the fact that these people had built themselves an actual personal theatre, then checked the three rows for his flag. He didn't find it, and wasted time searching. He felt like he was definitely going to lose if he didn’t find it down here. The other doorway was just a bathroom. The final arch led to a longer hallway. A carpet ran down the center like a once-red river. The dust-sponge muffled his footsteps, and the circle of his flashlight flicked and darted around, showing him a series of portraits. 

There was one subject in all the portraits, Kurtis assumed he was the son of the previous owner. The child looked like the Gerber baby; cute, but generic. First they were portraits, then the child got a little older, and the paintings got more complex. The child on a horse, a bike, a miniature train.

As he passed, he heard something. It was almost a voice, but muffled. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if it could have come from the first floor. His arm hairs prickled, as he traced the sound down the wood paneled hallway. The child continued to age in the pictures until it was five years old. At the very end of the hall, there was a family portrait. The child was starting to look like the father, displaying the ghost of his well structured jawline. He was starting to look familiar too. Kurtis also became aware of what sounded like footsteps but with no person attached.

He ducked into the child's bedroom to hide from whoever it was. This room had white carved paneling on the walls. There was a minor commotion upstairs, scuffling, running perhaps. He lost track of the footsteps that were down there with him.

Kurtis anticipated receiving the call that the game was over and he’d lost. And his body was humming with fear at possibly being discovered down here. His light flickered around the room, unenthusiastically. 

_Purple. ___

__A purple kerchief sat on the white sheet covering the child's bed. “Fuck yes.” Kurtis whispered. He crossed the room and tied it to his other arm. From this side, he heard it again. It had to be a voice. It sounded closer than he’d previously thought, like whatever it was, was only a wall or a room away._ _

__He looked around, flicked his light, and something on the wall glinted. He went closer, and found nothing. He wiggled his light again, and found the shimmer came from the seam of the panel. He leaned in, forearm against the wall to take a closer look at the seam._ _

__The panel fell inwards, and Kurtis went with it._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and love for just the first chapter! Not quite finished writing this one, I'm on Chapter 16 of probably ~20. Chapters are a little longer in this fic so I'm only doing one per week. <3 Might not seem like it in these first chapters but this guy is going to get real angsty. Hahaha


	3. Chapter 3

Kurtis stumbled into blackness. His light went with him, flickering and clattering on cement. There was movement, someone was there. Kurtis’ knees hit the hard ground and footsteps approached. 

His heart stammered and he scrambled back and away as his light was lifted by the stranger in the dark. He felt true intense terror in that moment. Certain that he’d found an actual ghost and it was going to kill him in cold blood in this dark basement.

“Kurtis?”

“Danny.” Kurtis breathed for what felt like the very first time. “Jesus Christ, you scared me. What the fuck are you doing?”

“I got trapped!” Danny exclaimed. “Don’t let that door close.” The secret panel door stuck on Kurtis’ foot. Kurtis stretched his leg out further to hold it open.

“How?” Kurtis said with a breathless giggle. Danny reached out with his hand and caught the door, so Kurtis could get to his feet. Danny pointed the light away from Kurtis’ eyes and Danny helped him up. “Have you been stuck in here this entire time?”

Kurtis laughed even harder when he got a proper look at Danny’s face. He was deeply unimpressed. “I’ve been asking for help on my mic, but I think the producers found it funny, so they just left me here.”

Kurtis broke down then, laughing very hard at Danny’s misfortune. “That’s so mean,” he gasped. “But so funny.” Danny threw a playful punch to his arm.

“What the hell is in this room anyways?” 

“Fuck, if I know,” Danny replied. “It’s dark as shit.” 

Kurtis moved to take the light, “Aren’t you curious?” Kurtis flashed out towards the room and it glinted off glass and metal.

“Dude, do you have your flag?” Danny remarked, noticing for the first time the purple handkerchief wrapped around Kurtis’ bicep.

“Oh shit- yeah, I almost forgot.” Kurtis replied.

“Come on, let’s go! You could win!” Danny said eagerly. He took Kurtis’ hand and led him out of the dark and scary room. Then let the panel fall shut behind him.

“Must’ve been scary alone in there.” Kurtis said, squeezing Danny’s hand. Danny unclipped his mic, and carefully covered it in his fist. Kurtis followed his lead and Danny encircled his waist to kiss him as silently as they could. 

Danny’s warmth felt heavenly in the chill of the basement. They broke apart for a moment and Danny whispered his thanks into the small space between their lips. The thrill of kissing in secret, when they really shouldn’t have been, left them both breathless. It took them a minute to reattach their mics and get back into the headspace to be themselves.

“I think your mic should be good now.” Danny said, loudly, as if he’d been fixing Kurtis’.

“Thanks,” Kurtis murmured, still a little drunk on Danny’s closeness. Then Danny turned away with his little red flashlight and headed for the stairs.

“I know where your flag is.” Kurtis recalled eagerly as he climbed up behind Danny. 

Danny paused at the landing and clicked off the flashlight. “Are you going to tell me?” 

Kurtis felt his hairs prickle at the flirtatious hint in Danny’s tone. He had to consciously remind himself not to kiss him again.

“Follow me.” Kurtis said, he took the flashlight back from Danny, and eased open the basement stair door. 

And met the dark silhouette of a body on the floor. Kurtis’ heart rate picked up again. He crept closer to the 'corpse' and flicked the flashlight on its face.

“Hey guys,”

Kurtis brought a hand to his mouth to stifle a laugh. 

“Hey Drew,” Danny responded. Drew had his hands folded on his stomach. He looked vaguely bored, and Kurtis let one giggle burble forth. Drew glanced at the cellar door, and narrowed his eyes at the pair. Danny’s cheeks flushed and Kurtis just smiled harder at being caught.

“Has anyone won?” Kurtis asked eagerly. 

“Oh yeah, it ended a long time ago, I’ve just been laying here in the dark for fun.” Drew dead-panned. He stared up at the ceiling blankly, starkly refusing to betray the humor. Kurtis and Danny laughed, then startled at a noise thudding down the stairs. 

Danny retreated back a step from Drew’s body and pressed himself and Kurtis back up against a wall. In a flash, they saw Noel jump over Drew and run past them down the hall. The hall brightened, and for the first time Kurtis got a proper look at the ‘axe murderer’ as he clattered down the stairs.

“Shit-” Danny breathed, not moving from his spot. “Go.” Danny stepped away from the wall to stand in front of Drew’s body, blocking the way between the killer and Kurtis. “Hurry, save yourself.”

Kurtis hesitated for a split second. Long enough to see the demon-masked murderer raise his flimsy ‘axe’ to Danny’s chest.

“Danny, no!” He said the words more for comedic effect than anything, then turned on his heel and ran after Noel.

His heart pounded blood out to his pumping legs, as he retraced his steps back to where he’d entered. He saw Noel at the end of the hall, he had his yellow arm band and was stuck at a fork. He had yet to decide whether to go left, the way Kurtis knew had an exit, or right, where Kurtis had yet to explore. The light got brighter on Noel’s back as Kurtis approached with the killer in hot pursuit.

Noel glanced over his shoulder and saw Kurtis running, his eyes widened and he darted to the left, Kurtis followed almost immediately after, heavy footfalls at his back.

Kurtis saw the door, at almost the same second Noel did. Then the room was flooded with light, as the killer entered after them. For one long second neither moved. Then the killer raised his floppy axe and the room was plunged into a flurry of commotion. Kurtis hit the door first and wrenched it open. Noel narrowly dodged a swing of the axe. Then he burst through onto the porch just as Kurtis felt the rubbery axe blip off of his neck. 

“Ah!” Kurtis exclaimed, falling to his knees dramatically, at the door. “You…” He said pointing his finger at Noel as the cameras outside caught his dying breath. Kurtis fell to his knees, then crumpled down to his belly. He folded his arms and laid his face down on them, to watch Noel celebrate his victory.

He smiled to himself as Noel pumped both fists in the air and his shouts of triumph were lost in the blare of the airhorn. Kurtis heard footsteps clamber in behind him.

“No!” He heard Danny shout dramatically. “I died for you!” Kurtis tried to push himself up off the floor, but he was laughing so hard that it was turning into a bit of a struggle. Drew offered a hand and he got to his feet, still clutching his stomach with leftover giggles.

“And my flag is right here!” Danny continued, melodramatically. He grabbed it on his way out the door, smiling at Noel’s continued celebration. 

“This is bullshit!” They heard from around a corner. Cody stormed into the shot, a camera following behind him. “I didn’t even find my flag.”

Danny echoed his proclamation, he threw his hands in the air as he described being trapped in a closet downstairs for the better part of the game. Drew also joined in, complaining that the floor was dusty, and being a corpse was boring. Noel just laughed in their faces, and found himself a chair to stand on as the one true victor.

“All of your complaints are nothing.” Noel stated, in that easy cool tone. “Kurtis is so fucking Canadian, he died holding the door for me to get out.”

Kurtis tried for about one second to look pissed, before breaking down laughing. The others joined him. It felt phenomenal to finally release the tension that had been building all evening. 

After they calmed down, they had some snacks, then filmed some reality tv style reactions to what was happening in the house. They filmed them at the same time, in different tents. Kurtis counted his lucky stars that Danny and Drew weren’t watching him react to Cody’s cocky flirtation in the upstairs linen closet.

It was close to midnight by the time they piled into the car to head back to their rented room in the city, and just after 2:00am, when Drew got the text from Noel.


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s wrong?” Danny said in response to the increasingly deep furrow in Drew’s brow. 

“Apparently, the son came by while they were packing up and yelled at them for being on private property.” Drew replied, eyes still glued to the phone. It was the only light in the otherwise dark room. 

“I thought Cody got permission from the son?” Kurtis murmured, half into Danny’s shoulder, half into the pillow. 

“I thought so too.” Drew replied, and clicked the lockscreen on his phone, plunging the room back to darkness. Kurtis felt Danny lean into Drew’s body, like that might assuage some of his worry. Kurtis’ eyes were heavy and they fell closed then.

“That’s a tomorrow problem” Danny whispered, carefully rubbing Drew’s back in little soothing circles. “Don’t think about it.”

Kurtis drifted off, while Danny was still humming soft words to Drew’s anxiety. Then was woken a couple hours later by Drew’s phone. Drew got out of bed to answer it, taking it into the other room so he didn’t disturb Danny and Kurtis any further. The first call came in at 6:00am, and Kurtis assumed that Drew returned to bed afterwards, because that’s where he was when the second call came at 9:00am. Kurtis listened to him crawl out of bed and stumble into the other room to answer.

Danny shifted beside him, having also woken up at the sound. Kurtis peeked an eye open, as Danny lifted his head to watch Drew go. Kurtis tried to go back to sleep, but his curiosity kept him up. Drew came back to bed almost an hour later, and nestled himself in next to Danny's warm body, more for comfort than for sleep.

“What was that about?” Danny murmured. 

“Noel got a rather threatening email.” Drew said from behind the arm over his eyes. He seemed to be in no mood to discuss it but Danny was undeterred.

“From the son?” He asked, running his fingers over Drew’s chest, like he could push the anxiety out if he just petted him the right way.

“From Adonis.”

“Adonis?” Kurtis pushed himself up on his elbows, to look at Drew. Did that creepy abandoned house belong to Adonis’ parents? Kurtis’ mind flashed to the portraits on the wall in the basement. The face that looked just a little too familiar.

It looked familiar because he’d just punched it.

Drew let out a long, low exhale and his arm fell away from his face. “I’m going to meet up with him this afternoon to talk about how we’re going to respond. I just got off the phone with Ambrie who’s going to call her lawyer, then I need to call my lawyer, while Noel calls his lawyer…” Drew groaned. “So many lawyers…”

“It doesn’t have to be all on you.” Danny replied. “Kurtis and I can come to the meeting, or call people.”

“It’s fine,” Drew replied. “I’ve got it, don’t worry about it.” 

“Seriously, Drew let us help with something.” 

“I said it’s fine.” Drew’s tone was a little sharp. “Can you guys just set up to film something while we’re all together?” He let out one long low breath, then sat up out of bed, and went to get in the shower.

“Why is he being like this?” Danny murmured, arms folded and face half buried in his pillow. He was trying not to sound annoyed.

“He’s probably just tense because Adonis is involved.” Kurtis replied. Stomach squirming at the discord between his two friends. 

Danny mashed his face into the pillow and grumbled something about being an idiot, and Kurtis rubbed his back. They took turns showering, and did exactly as Drew asked. They prepared to shoot something before Drew needed to meet with Noel. The first video they shot was for Drew’s channel. Then they got footage for a video on Danny’s channel, but they ran out of time to do one for Kurtis. 

“We’ve still got until Friday.” Kurtis reassured himself, as Drew gathered his things to leave for the meeting.

“We should probably work on planning for another tour too.” Danny remarked, leaning against a wall as Drew jangled the car keys in one hand and texted with the other. Danny leaned in to snag a kiss from Drew before he left, he got a peck between messages, before Drew slipped out the door.

Danny flopped over the back of a couch next to Kurtis. “Is he still mad about the party thing?” Kurtis lifted his laptop, let Danny’s feet settle in his lap, then set the computer down on the coffee table.

“I don’t think so.” Kurtis assured him. “I think he’s just busy.” 

“I still feel bad.” Danny admitted, pulling out his phone.

“You made up for it.” Kurtis replied with a smirk. 

Danny nudged him with a toe. “Oh shut up.” 

Danny got his laptop, and the two worked in amicable silence for a while. Kurtis had just hit send on an email, when a call came in to Danny’s phone. Danny rose to answer it, and Kurtis stopped what he was doing to eavesdrop.

“I’m not doing anything, no.” Danny said. He’d walked far enough that Kurtis could only make out his side of the conversation. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Then he crossed into the bedroom and Kurtis lost it entirely. Kurtis clicked his laptop shut and followed after his friend. He watched Danny nod, then say yes aloud, then he was giving the address of the place they were renting for the week. Kurtis felt his brows furrowing. Who could Danny possibly be talking to?

Danny hung up, and turned to face Kurtis. “I may have agreed to something stupid.”

Kurtis quirked his head, “Why did you agree to it then?”

“Because I’m not actually as smart as I make myself out to be.” Danny caught Kurtis’ waist on his way out the bedroom and pressed his lips into Kurtis’ curls. He shrugged a jacket on, and tucked his phone into the pocket.

“Where are you going?” Kurtis said, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.

Danny gathered a couple more things before answering. Kurtis had to clear his throat before Danny even looked up at him. Then, glancing up from the finger hooked in the heel of his shoe, Danny finally responded. 

“To negotiate with Adonis.”

“No.” Kurtis breathed, his heart rate pitching as he processed the words. “Wait- Danny.” Danny glanced over his shoulder, one hand on the knob. Kurtis felt breathless, lungs tight with anxiety that normally took a lot more than four words to invoke. “Danny don’t” 

“Nothing is going to happen. He’s disgusting.” Danny’s tone was tired. “I’m doing this.”

Kurtis recognized the stubborn set of Danny’s shoulders, and suppressed the logical arguments that were popping up in the back of his mind and begging to be wielded. “I’m coming with you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not going to take any drinks from him, Kurtis.” Danny chided. “I’ll be fine.”

“Drew will kill me.” Kurtis said, as he threw on a light jacket. “If I don’t.”

“Okay, fine but Adonis sent us a car so hurry up.” Kurtis tugged on his shoes, quickly and a little breathlessly. Then Danny’s words registered and it felt like a punch in the stomach. Don’t let the killer take you to a secondary location.

_Why was that always his first thought?_

“Where are they taking us?” Kurtis asked.

“Back to the house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters since they're shorter ones.


	5. Chapter 5

The car was a warm beige Honda, the driver a totally normal looking dude named Cam. This did not stop Kurtis’ nerves from fluttering and buzzing like a thousand insects begging to be freed from the vehicle. Cam kept the volume of the stereo high enough that they didn’t need to bother making small talk. He looked like the kind of guy who listened to club music. Which is what was currently vibrating the car. He wasn’t bad looking, but a girl would need to be at least three drinks deep to sleep with him.

Kurtis normally wasn’t so quick to judge, but it was a long car ride out to the former Haunt set. So to take his mind off his fear of confrontation, he thought about Cam striking out at the club, and it made him feel a little better.

He and Danny couldn’t really talk over the loud music, and that was probably for the best. Since they probably would have argued. Kurtis still couldn’t see this plan (if Danny even had a plan) going well in any way, shape or form. He kept glancing down at his phone trying and failing to draft a text to Drew. Something that wouldn’t piss him off, or stress him out, but something to explain where they were going or what was going on.

_Danny and I are driving back out to the haunt set to try and negotiate with Adonis._

Kurtis stared at the words. He imagined Drew’s response.

_That’s a stupid idea.  
Why the hell didn’t you stop him?   
Both of you are idiots.   
I’m coming to get you._

Kurtis liked the part where Drew came to get them. He wanted just that part… Maybe Drew wouldn’t call him an idiot to his face but he’d certainly think it. Why did he panic and ask to come with Danny, he should have dug his heels in, and told Danny how dumb this was. Based on what Kurtis now knew of Adonis, he was almost certain that this would turn into more legal bullshit than it could possibly be worth.

He tried another message.

_Danny and I are at the haunt set, trying to talk to Adonis. I am an idiot. Please come get us._

Kurtis was still staring at the drafted message, when they pulled up beside the barn. The car shut off and the booming bass settled, leaving them with only the sound of the quiet wind whispering through the golden hills. Kurtis felt a shiver deep at the base of his spine. 

Cam led them round the house to the cellar door, bypassing the wide porch all together. He threw open the windowless door and Kurtis was faced with the dark descent into the basement. The shiver tingled and vibrated, threatening to crawl up his spine. Kurtis felt himself smiling like an idiot as Cam started down. Danny glanced over his shoulder before he followed, he looked apologetic. And he didn’t look nearly as uncomfortable as Kurtis felt.

It made Kurtis feel stupid all over again.

Was it possible Danny didn’t feel that shivery ‘don’t do this’ feeling that Kurtis was experiencing as he walked down the dark stairwell? How could Danny not feel it? Or if he did feel it, why did he press on through it? Perhaps Danny genuinely thought he had something with which he could actually negotiate.

Or perhaps Kurtis was more sensitive because he’d gone somewhere with someone he shouldn’t have before.

The hall at the bottom was lit, illuminating all the portraits. They walked down it and Kurtis was struck with that same stomach churning feeling he’d felt when he’d gone down that Alley with Blake.

_Maybe he was overreacting._

He couldn’t tell. He glanced down at one of his hands. It was shaking. He should have messaged Drew. Cam paused at the door to the hall, like a butler letting them through. Adonis was waiting for them in his childhood bedroom. 

“Nice to see you again,” Adonis said, cockily. Kurtis was surprised by his tone, considering he still had the week-old reddish-purple bruise around his eye from where Kurtis punched him. His voice, and smirk and that stupid sharp jawline, grated on Kurtis.

He glanced at Danny, did Danny realize this guy was a smarmy predatory prick? Why the hell did they come here?

“I don’t _want_ to spoil your friend’s little video.” Adonis started, surprising both Kurtis and Danny. “I genuinely want to negotiate.”

Kurtis stood next to Danny. He tried to keep his fists loose, rather than tight like they wanted to be. Danny’s shoulders were set but he didn’t want to fight either. Kurtis watched him choose his words carefully. “What do you want from me?”

“Yes, you have a couple of chips, don’t you?” Adonis replied. Danny didn’t react, he maintained his poker face. “I think that you know what’s in my little room here.” Adonis lifted his chin- indicating the room Danny had been trapped in.

Danny’s mouth folded into a flat line. Kurtis turned to him. “What’s in the room?”

“You can say it,” Adonis encouraged him. His eyes travelled over Danny’s body unabashedly. It made Kurtis’ skin crawl, but he was also watching Danny, waiting for an answer to his question.

“It’s a lab.” Danny replied. 

“It’s my lab, the production facility for my side hustle.” Adonis explained, he smiled as he did. Kurtis raised his eyebrows. Was that why Danny came, because he had that? Maybe they could get Adonis to back off Cody and Noel, if he didn’t want that info getting to the police. That should have relaxed Kurtis, should have released some of the anxious pressure building in his chest. It didn’t, of course. Because Adonis was still wearing that cocky grin. “He’s never tried my drugs before, has he?”

Danny shifted his body in front of Kurtis’ ever so slightly but his tone held even. “No, he hasn’t.”

“Just you and the other guy. That’s a shame. I think he should try some.” Adonis pulled out a pill packet, and popped two out into his palm.

“Not happening.” Danny said, this time his tone betrayed a little bit of his disdain for the man. That heartened Kurtis a little bit. What made Adonis think Kurtis would take him up on the drugs anyways. He was really in no mood for it.

“This is the first step in negotiations though, Danny.” Adonis scolded him. “If you want me to do something for you, like, maybe _not_ sue the fuck out of your friends. I need you to show me that you’re committed to finding a solution.”

Danny didn’t move or speak. He still refused to consider it. Kurtis was thankful for that. But he still wasn’t sure what Adonis had to gain from Kurtis doing his drugs. 

“I’m at a disadvantage - you know about my drug lab, you could turn around and take that knowledge to the police and we could really get going on this horrid lengthy legal battle. Just show me you actually want to talk, and you’re not just going to run when things get hard.”

Kurtis tried to follow Adonis’ train of thought. Adonis didn’t want Danny to leave, and take the drug lab to the police. Because that would just add another case, a ‘drug lab’ case to Adonis’ existing legal enterprises (Ie. Ambrie’s sexual assault case and the trespassing suit) and the trespassing charges would remain unchanged.

But if Kurtis took the drugs, that made him complicit in the ‘drug lab’ thing, ensuring Danny wouldn’t take it to the police.

“Why him?” Danny asked. Perhaps it was so that Danny would remain in his right mind to negotiate. Kurtis definitely didn’t want Danny taking anything from Adonis. He looked up at Danny to see that he was considering it. 

Kurtis exhaled. He remembered Drew, all those nights ago texting him that they’d accidentally taken these weird drugs they bought off the internet. He stayed mostly lucid, pretty much the whole time. As long as he only took one…

Danny looked hesitant, like he might ask to take them himself. So Kurtis made his decision. “It’s fine, Danny.”

“I like watching people’s reactions the first time.” Adonis exposited. “Makes me feel like my products are out doing good in the world.”

Danny rolled his eyes and his hand came out to touch Kurtis’ arm. He looked like he wanted to speak, to tell him he didn’t have to do this, but- he did. So no words came. Kurtis didn’t have the heart to be angry with him for it. He just trusted that Danny would get them out of this.

Cam tossed Adonis a bottle of water, and Adonis beckoned Kurtis over. Kurtis wanted to squeeze Danny’s hand, but just tightened his fist, until his bruised knuckles gave a throb. He wasn’t afraid yet, he could tell that much, though he could feel the early stirrings of adrenalin. Adonis’ handsome jaw tightened into a smile and the motion stirred the angry embers he’d been carrying around since he met the man.

Kurtis reached their adversary, and Adonis extended the pills in his hand. Then, tipped it up, opened his mouth and dropped the pills on his tongue. Kurtis froze, baffled. Then an arm snaked around his waist, and Adonis’ lips were prying his mouth open. Kurtis’ mind went totally white with the shock of it.

Adonis tongue slipped over his, depositing the pills in his mouth. Then he backed off as the embers of anger flared and exploded. Kurtis’ bicep tightened in preparation to struggle, but Adonis was back, with a hand over Kurtis’ mouth, preventing him from spitting them out. 

Kurtis looked up at the man, confused and furious. Adonis dropped his hand and held out the water bottle, like Kurtis had just taken the pills normally.

“What the fuck was that?” He heard Danny half shout from where he stood. Adonis laughed. 

“It was nothing. Just a bit of fun.” Adonis winked at Kurtis. “I just needed the edge of a hit. Don’t spit those out.”

Kurtis glanced at Danny. He looked nearly as sick and angry as Kurtis felt. But they’d come this far, and in spite of his reservations, he’d support Danny, if this was what Danny intended to do. Kurtis grimaced and took a sip of the water, to swallow the pills, they went down chalky.

Kurtis retreated to where Danny stood. Danny had clearly abandoned any discretion about their relationship from Adonis, as he wrapped a strong arm around Kurtis’ neck. Kurtis breathed out relief, when he was ushered into the warmth of his friend's body. “Are you alright?” He urgently whispered, Kurtis could feel the tension in the tight press of their bodies.

“Fine, just get this over with.” Kurtis murmured. 

“We’ll be gone before they hit.” Danny promised. He shifted Kurtis back behind his body a little and turned to face Adonis head on.

Kurtis touched his phone in his pocket. He wanted to text Drew. It must have been his imagination, but he felt like he could already feel the drugs taking effect. He hit send on the draft without telling Danny, and slipped the device back in his pocket.

“So, if I drop the trespassing charges, you won’t tell anyone about my drug lab. Right?” Adonis stated. Danny folded his arms across his chest. Adonis smirked. “Here’s the thing about that. My lab is going to burn to the ground after we leave here today.” 

Danny’s mouth flatlined, and Kurtis felt his heart take off in his chest.

“Cam and I will testify that you two did it, and you two testify that we did it. There’s another lengthy legal battle, on top of the trespassing charges.” Adonis explained. 

“And the sexual assault case.” Kurtis added.

“Yes,” Adonis acknowledged. “So I propose that we consider that point moot, as your little fuckboy has drugs in his system, proving he was here and a user.” 

Kurtis’ chest seemed to contract and fill with cement. It was shock and anger, and he could practically feel his pulse racing the drugs through this blood stream. He wanted to put a stop to it, he wanted Danny to put a stop to it. 

He looked at Danny. Danny didn’t betray whatever he was feeling. There was a hint of annoyance, and when his eyes fell on Kurtis a moment of concern and uncertainty. Then he turned back to Adonis, steady and determined.

“Now, if you withdraw your ‘tell everyone about my drug lab’ chip, I’ll give you an hour’s head start to get yourself an alibi before I set this place ablaze. Fair?”

Danny crinkled his nose. He didn’t like it. “It still leaves the trespassing charges.”

“Alright, cards on the table.” Adonis said, sobering, “I had an ulterior motive to this whole ‘trespassing’ thing. Danny, your deposition in Ambrie’s sexual assault case, it hurt my feelings.” 

Danny sighed. “I thought this might be about that.” Kurtis watched his expression fall into honesty. “There are at least six other girls, and Ambrie has a lot of evidence. I can’t make the case go away, so if I drop out it’s not going to matter.”

“Plus she’s not just going to drop it because Danny asked.” Kurtis added. He hoped Adonis didn’t think that Danny had that much sway.

“Well,” Adonis said. He still looked pleased about something. “If you won’t drop out of it, then I’d like to at least get what I’m to be charged for.”

“What do you mean?” Danny asked.

“My lawyer got me a copy of your deposition.” Adonis replied. “Suspected ‘oral sex’ performed on unconscious victim.” Kurtis felt his eyebrows furrow. He watched Danny’s go as well. “You and I both know that wasn’t entirely truthful now, was it Danny?”

“I-” Danny swallowed. “I’ll change the deposition.”

“I don’t want you to change the deposition. I want what I’m to be charged for.” Adonis replied with hard edged certainty. “It’s not about revenge Danny, it’s about reciprocity.”

_No._

Kurtis felt the ‘no’ like it was the marrow of his bones. Danny didn’t say anything. Why wasn’t he saying no?

“Danny, no.” Kurtis’ voice was quieter than he thought. He thought it would be a shout when it came out. It felt like a shout in his head. His hands came out to grip Danny’s bicep, automatically.

“My lawyer has informed me that I’ll be going to prison for quite some time, if Ambrie’s case goes through.” Adonis said, he tried to look remorseful but it just felt fake. “I’d just like to actually get what I’m to pay for.”

Danny considered it. Kurtis hated that Danny was considering it. He wanted to shake him. Kurtis moved, moved to look Danny in the eye. 

“Come on, he’s clearly no stranger to sucking dick.” Adonis said. Kurtis could have punched him again. If he wasn’t so acutely aware of Cam lurking in the corner, or the lawsuit the hit was sure to generate. He directed his anger at Danny, and he tried to make it not anger. He didn’t understand why Danny would feel like he needed to do this. Adonis loosed another quip. “Swear I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

“Shut up.” Kurtis said, venomously. Then he turned back to Danny, desperately trying to get Danny to look at him. “Danny, you don’t have to do this, we’ll figure something else out.”

When Danny finally looked at him his blue eyes shined at the edges. “Would you hate me if I did it?”

Kurtis’ heart pounded. He wouldn’t. What he felt for Danny was nothing like hate and this wasn’t going to change that. He knew it, like he knew to breathe. But this was making breathing kind of hard right now.

“No,” Kurtis said, it hurt to say it. “I wouldn’t but-”

“Fine.” Danny said, loud enough for Adonis to hear. “I’ll do it.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Danny posting, I must post as well.
> 
> TW: its in the tags but we got the aforementioned sexual assault happening here. Take care of yourself!

“Excellent.” Adonis beamed, he knocked the panel to the secret drug lab inwards, and stepped aside to usher Danny into a room away from Cam. 

“I’m coming.” Kurtis stated, shifting his hold down on Danny’s arm to grab his hand. Danny looked like he wanted to say yes and no at the same time. 

“Mm, looks like your girlfriend wants to watch.” Adonis joked to himself. He angled his head at the hole in the wall. “I have no problem with it.”

Adonis flicked on the light, and beyond the little hall they were in, there was a variety of glass, stove-tops and equipment that did not look like it should be used to make products designed for human consumption. It felt like the pills were growing and swelling into rocks in Kurtis’ stomach. 

Adonis, let the door fall shut, then leaned back against the plain drywall. His eyes flicked down to his belt buckle. His face was turned so that the bruise Kurtis left was hidden in the shadow, and Kurtis couldn’t seem to remember what it felt like to put it there. 

_Why did he feel so small right now?_

Kurtis could feel Danny’s disgust filling the small space, but he couldn’t stop his friend from getting to his knees before the Californian. Kurtis’ mind went white with static, he couldn’t seem to remember how to talk. Danny’s hands came up to Adonis’ belt. He slipped it out past the loop, and opened the button on the tall man’s jeans. Neither of them looked at Kurtis. While the floor dropped out from under him. 

Danny paused, and sucked in a breath. He didn’t look ready. He looked defiant and annoyed, but more than that he looked ashamed. Kurtis felt it like it was his own, and it was suffocating. He couldn’t understand how Danny could possibly breathe with it so thick in the air.

Adonis fished out his cock, it was half hard, and Kurtis found it disgusting. He didn’t want Danny to touch it. But Danny took a couple of quick breaths and opened his mouth.

Adonis smiled and Kurtis had to look away. His body was heating and he started to feel nauseous. He could almost taste blood in his mouth from stitches that had long since healed. He could still hear it, even when he wasn’t looking. He glanced down at his hands, they’d stilled.

It didn’t make sense, how could they be still. Then he felt the burn beginning at the base of his skull, and trickling down to his pelvis. 

The drugs were kicking in. There was a sound. A wet sound, and an annoyed noise from Danny’s throat. Kurtis looked again, and Danny’s jaw was pushed wide by intrusion. Kurtis’ mouth filled with saliva. He had to stop it. It needed to stop, but his body was uncooperative. It was too fixated on it’s own distress. It was so busy palpitating his heart, and sending blood down to his dick, that Kurtis could hardly force it to make thoughts.

Adonis took Danny’s hair in his hand. Danny made another muffled sound of protest but the defiance was fleeing his features. There was a wetness at the corners of his eyes. He was losing the fight to stay present. Kurtis watched him flicker and retreat to some place that would allow him to get through the assault.

Adonis slotted his hips forward and back, in and out. His body curled and tightened. Danny tried to stay quiet but there were still muffled sounds that escaped. Adonis increased his pace, grinding the head of his dick against the ring at the back of Danny's throat.

Danny convulsed, and Adonis pulled back to let him breath. 

“Just a little more.” Adonis promised, petting Danny’s hair with a strange reverence. “Then it’ll be over.”

Danny breathed, he looked used and vacant. But with his flushed cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. He kind of looked like he did when he sucked Drew’s dick.

Kurtis was flattened by the guilt of that thought. It felt like his knees would buckle with the force of it. Danny opened again for Adonis’ cock. His eyes drifted to Kurtis for a split second, and Kurtis felt his heart snapping and breaking like it was held together with little brittle twigs. Why wasn’t he screaming or fighting or stopping this?

_Why couldn’t he make a sound?_

Kurtis’ body was catching fire, burning, and tingling while Danny was in pain. He felt a tickle on his cheek, and brought his hand to his face. His palm came away wet. He swiped at the wet streaks pushing them away. His chest burned.

Adonis rocked into Danny with greater fervor. He was hurting Danny now. Kurtis could hear it. He held Danny’s head steady, and Danny faded in and out depending on his oxygen supply. Then with a final snap of his hips Adonis let out a solid groan.

Danny coughed. Adonis held him down. “Swallow, swallow.” He whispered, keeping him there until he was certain he’d filled Danny's mouth. He slipped free, then brought a hand over Danny's mouth. “That’s it, swallow all of it.”

Danny huffed a couple of quick breaths through his nose, then worked his throat, forcing the stuff down. Adonis dropped his hand, and worked his fingers into Danny's mouth to check it was all gone. “Good. That was good.”

The whole room rocked, Kurtis was going to puke. Danny’s eyes were fixed on the ground, he was not okay. The pulses of heat were coming quicker. When they rolled through him, they shook free the fear and replaced it with fire. 

“That was lovely.” Adonis sighed, zipping himself up. He carded his fingers through Danny’s hair, then gripped a fistful to tilt Danny’s face up to look at him. “But before you get up, there’s just one more thing…” Danny was coming back to himself. He was aware and furious and scared. “See that camera up there. It seems to have caught you and your fuckboy kissing yesterday.”

“No, it was dark.” Danny said. He sounded uncertain, unsure of himself, in over his head.

“Yes, it’s only really effective in the dark. That’s why I didn’t bother turning it off before I brought you in here.” Adonis said. Kurtis’ eyes flicked to the camera, perched in the corner like an evil little blackbird. “I won’t tell a soul about this but I need one last little assurance from you and I promise that footage will be gone forever.”

Danny didn’t try to rise from his knees. He just steadied himself for the next horrid thing that Adonis would ask for.

Adonis pointed at Kurtis. “I want him to cum in your mouth,” Danny’s brows furrowed with confusion. He looked at Kurtis properly for the first time. Their eyes met and Kurtis could have cried with the intensity of it. His body had already responded to the suggestion. It was pulsing and pleading for it and Kurtis was already waist deep in self hatred at his body's response. “So I know you won’t run off and have some rapekit done, because my word seems to be totally worthless against yours in any sort of legal sense.”

Kurtis kept his eyes on Danny, asking him what to do. He knew Danny didn’t have an answer, his body was panicking harder and somehow softer that it had been before. The drugs muffled it, distracted him, but he knew he should have been panicking.

“It’d be a real shame to come this far only to have me destroy your little online careers.” Adonis casually threatened.

Kurtis’ legs moved, for the first time, as Adonis shifted out of the way to drag Kurtis into his spot.

“There you are.” He murmured as he pulled Kurtis by the arm, so that his hips were eye level with Danny’s face.

“Don’t touch him.” Danny said, suddenly finding a little of the fierceness, he’d started with. Danny leaned into Kurtis’ hip and looked up at him, silently begging for forgiveness. Kurtis felt his heart thunk painfully, but he was so hard, and he’d forgotten how to talk.

_Say no. Say something._

No words came. Danny’s blue eyes, tears still unshed, met his. Kurtis couldn’t identify his expression.

His hands came to the button on Kurtis’ jeans, then he felt Danny’s hot breath through his boxers. Kurtis tilted his head back to catch a breath as his whole body was flooded with anticipation and tingling excitement. He wanted to swallow it back, wanted to hate it, but it was Danny. This was just what Danny did to him. He tugged the waistband of Kurtis’ shorts down, and he was already hard. He shouldn’t have been hard.

But Danny’s lips came up to the leaking head of Kurtis’ cock. Kurtis’ throat made a sound, the sound betrayed him, and guilt hit him like a punch in the gut. But then he was in Danny's warm mouth. It was achingly familiar, soft and perfect. He dragged his tongue and flicked the tip and Kurtis felt it all the way out to his toes.

His body was burning and waves of guilt mixed with the pulses of pleasure. He hated himself with each dip and crest. His muscles contracted of their own accord.

_At least it would be over quick._

Adonis shifted next to him, and Kurtis didn’t look. He couldn’t look. It would make him feel horrid then this would last longer. 

‘Ah-” An involuntary sound was torn from his throat as Danny allowed his dick to dip into his throat. He heard something from Danny, a stifled groan, and he shut his eyes and pretended that this was okay for a moment. He felt the drugs buzzing and tingling like a vibrator- heightening everything Danny did. It made everything feel incredible, which in turn caused him pain, which only drove him closer to the edge.

He felt a tickle on his face, it was cold and wet as it dripped down his cheek. “Mm- fuc-” Danny took him deep again and Kurtis saw stars, it was coming. He was coming. 

A sound was punched from his lungs as his body flashed with orgasm. The pleasure was a tear drop compared to a tidal wave of guilt and shame and unpleasantness that chased it.

Danny didn’t cough this time- he swallowed it without a forceful hand over his mouth. Kurtis felt his heart spill over with acidic affection. It was too painful. He didn’t want it in his chest. He fell down the wall, down to Danny’s level and swiped away at the wetness on his cheeks.

“Drop the trespassing charges.” Danny said, his voice rough.

“You have my word.” Adonis swore. “That camera will stay in here while I burn the place down. I’ll go to prison for a long time.”

Danny pushed himself to his feet then offered a hand to Kurtis. Kurtis didn’t take it. Danny’s hand hung in the air, while Kurtis pushed himself to his feet.

“Don’t look so down.” Adonis said, as he opened the door into the child's bedroom. “You got what you wanted.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a couple of short angsty aftermath chapters for you.
> 
> I've been obsessively writing, this past week, and I'm so excited to get more of this one out to you guys. It's sitting at 21 chapters, and I've still got some wrapping up to do. Looks like it's going to be even longer that Truth or Dare. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos!

Kurtis’ phone buzzed in his pocket. Drew was there. Kurtis bolted out of the room, past Cam, Danny followed silently.

“Bye! Thanks for everything!” Adonis shouted from behind them, Kurtis took the cellar steps two and at a time. He was practically running from the house to get to Drew. Danny kept pace, until they rounded the house and actually saw Drew.

“What the hell is going on?” Drew’s words were angry and concerned, and neither Danny nor Kurtis had an answer for him.

“We need to leave right now.” Danny said, making a beeline for the car.

“Are you serious?” Drew’s fist closed for a half a second, then opened when he saw the red rimming around Danny’s eyes. Then his face fell. He knew there was something very wrong and his anger turned inward. Kurtis watched it happen, and it burned his twisted wrung out heart. “What the hell was that text? Kurtis?”

Drew looked at Kurtis then, and grew even more concerned. There must’ve been some outward sign that he was high as hell, or that his heart was in pieces. Drew’s hand fell to the door handle as all three got back to the rental car.

“Drew, you need to skip being mad and get us away from here.” Drew shut his mouth and got back in the car.

“Wait, before you go.” Adonis came running out. “Take a picture!” He lifted his gas can high, showing it off proudly. Drew threw a very concerned look at Danny.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Drew asked.

“He’s about to burn it down.” Danny replied from the passenger seat.

“What?” Drew couldn’t understand the picture he was looking at. None of the pieces fit and he was acutely annoyed that he was the only one in the dark.

“Can I drive?” Danny said, staring straight ahead as Adonis mimed dumping the gas can out.

“Have you-” Drew’s eyes narrowed on Danny’s red cheeks and lips. Just now becoming aware of the look he’d seen countless times before. “Danny, what the fuck happened in there?” Drew’s voice carried a severity that Kurtis had only known when Drew was dealing with something deadly serious. It was Drew’s version of fear probably. 

“If you’re not going to drive, get out and let me.” Danny said.

Drew punched the car into drive and it lurched forward, rounded past the barn, and sped back down the narrow gravel lane. Tense fearful silence stretched out for a long while. Drew’s fear was anger and his anger was fear and he seemed like he didn’t know how to accommodate emotions that intense. Kurtis’ body was still hot, and there was an exhaustion he’d never felt before. A heaviness that was guilt and shame wrapped around his limbs like a lead coating.

Drew’s passive aggressive handling of the vehicle was a silent plea for an explanation. Every time the engine hummed, it was like Drew going: ‘There. Look. Driving. So, where’s my explanation?’

Kurtis had none. He didn’t have any words at all. He just had a ghast built from guilt and self-hatred living under his skin, holding his tongue still. They rode in silence for what might have been a long time- or no time at all. Time was far too tricky for Kurtis to measure right now.

“Is Kurtis okay?” Drew finally asked.

“Probably not.” Danny replied. 

“Did he take-?” 

Danny nodded and they were quiet again.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” Drew asked. 

“No.” Danny replied sharply. Drew punched the gas for a moment with annoyance, then sucked in a sharp breath and eased it out very slowly.

“Danny, you’re scaring me.” Drew finally admitted. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

Danny turned to look out the window, and Drew glanced in the rearview mirror at Kurtis, silently begging him to explain what was going on. Kurtis shook his head. He felt another tickle on his cheek, and pushed it away.

The thing inside him, the animalistic thing, said that this was the end. That they would never recover from this. The thought was sickeningly painful. Danny already hated him, Drew would hate him when he found out. 

“Please,” Drew's voice cracked a little at the end, with his rising distress. “I won’t be mad. You’re freaking out.”

“Adonis is going to drop the trespassing thing.” Danny said.

“Oh?” Drew said it like he didn’t buy it. “How did you get him to do that?”

“I sucked his dick.” 

Drew’s face blanked with shock. He swallowed his first response. Drew looked to Kurtis again. Kurtis’ eyes must have told him it wasn’t a joke. Drew’s brows furrowed into anger and confusion. Then he exhaled remembering his promise not to get angry.

Over the course of the forty minute drive, Drew managed to drag out the rest of what had happened. It was fragmented and difficult and there were parts he filled in himself, but by the time they parked he had some idea of what had left them so shell shocked.

Danny went to shower as soon as he got in the door, and Drew’s brows furrowed as he watched him go. Kurtis stood with a hand on the wall- willing the foyer it to stop swaying and allow him to take his shoes off. The lines in Drew’s brow deepened when Danny didn’t stay to help Kurtis.

Drew got down on a knee to help Kurtis with the laces on his shoes. “I’ll bring you some water, you should lie down.” Drew advised. Kurtis nodded, he still couldn’t remember how to speak.

Drew’s phone rang, as Drew finished with Kurtis’ laces. He glanced down at the display: Amanda. He looked at it for a full ring. The shower started up, and he abandoned Kurtis’ shoes. He crossed to the balcony, and Kurtis looked down at his undone laces.

He plopped down on the floor and yanked his converse off like a toddler. He leaned his head into his knees and felt like he might throw up. Not actually from the spinning but from the way Danny had bolted for the shower, and the way Drew had run off in favor of his phone. They hated him. He was sick with how desperately he hated himself. 

He got onto his hands and knees, then pushed himself back up to stand. He dropped his jacket to the floor, and wished that he’d stopped Danny from ever leaving. He passed by a chair with the maid’s stockings thrown over it. His dick twitched with interest and and his eyes filled up with tears again. Kurtis crawled into bed and got one sob out into the pillow before he fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Kurtis woke up in an empty bed. The curtains were open revealing the dark city. The door was shut on him, he felt like a misbehaving pet locked in the garage. 

His eyes hurt and he was pretty sure there was a stake through his chest, each beat of his heart was a painful throb, sharp and splintery. He was thirsty, Drew never brought him water. Kurtis could have cried again if he had anything left with which to cry.

He crawled out of bed with no idea what he would do. He couldn’t face them, and he couldn’t stay here. They were probably waiting for him to leave so they could come to bed. His phone was at thirty percent battery and it was nearly midnight. What was open at midnight? Bars- bars were open and beer sounded a lot better than staying in the empty king sized bed. 

Kurtis peeked out the bedroom door and saw Drew asleep on one end of the couch, while Danny was on his laptop on the other. The hinge creaked as Kurtis eased it open and Danny stiffened. They stayed like that for a long moment, then Kurtis scurried over to the front door. His jacket was where he’d left it on the floor, he scooped it up, scuffed on his shoes and was out the door before accidental eye contact could occur.

He tied his shoes in the hall outside. He briefly regretted not bringing his laptop- but he wasn’t really in the right state for working anyways. They still hadn’t filmed anything for his channel. 

“Fuck.” He should probably try to come up with something else. 

As he stood up from his laces his head swam in a very uncomfortable way. He didn’t really feel like drinking but he also didn’t feel like being sober. So he stumbled off in search of a bar. 

He found a bar, and a spot to hide. A booth in a back corner, where he could watch the kitchen work without really bothering anyone. 

At first it was hard to keep his mind off of it. He mouthed words he didn’t say, pictured himself punching Adonis. Then throwing more hits, beating him until he was on the ground, or unconscious or dead. Kurtis didn’t care that the video they made with Cody and Noel would go up without a hitch. He didn’t care that Adonis’ drug lab was burnt to the ground. He wanted to undo everything.

After a couple of drinks, Kurtis was sitting across from himself in the booth. The Kurtis on the other side of the booth, the good Kurtis, shouted at him, furious that he’d ruined everything. Good Kurtis wouldn’t have let Danny get into that situation. This Kurtis, the person he was now, was just the dumb idiot who went into a back alley with Blake. He deserved every bit of abuse that his fragmented self threw his way.

After a couple more drinks there was no Kurtis left. He was mostly numb- except for somewhere in his pelvis that was calling attention to itself. Once Kurtis was a numb little ghost, he decided that he could go home. He emerged from the 24hr bar to find the sun had already risen. It was bright, and too low on the horizon for his hood to do anything about it.

The walk back to the rented condo was long, because Kurtis had trouble remembering exactly which turns he had made to get to the bar. But he found it eventually. His phone had 7% battery left, four missed calls, and several texts. 

He went to missed calls and dialed Drew. It was 9:37am, apparently. 

“Kurtis, where the fuck are you?”

“I’m here, can you buzz me in?” 

“Yeah, uh-” Drew’s anger was briefly distracted, trying to figure out how to let Kurtis into the unfamiliar building. There was a low rumble, and Kurtis pulled open the glass doors, and stumbled towards the elevator. 

He held the phone to his ear as he hit the button for the elevator door. The silver doors slid open, and his body recalled Danny pinning him against the wall, it recalled Danny’s teeth on his neck and it sent an insistent throb down to his dick. He glanced back at his phone to see why Drew wasn’t talking to find the screen black. It was dead. 

Drew opened the door before Kurtis had even touched the handle. “Where have you been?”

Kurtis came inside. Danny wasn’t there. He didn’t have the energy to respond to Drew’s question and his shoes were very far away- so he focussed on that. He dragged his hand down the wall as he folded his knees, until he fell back on his ass in the foyer. Drew knelt down as well. 

“I can do it.” Kurtis’ words were sharper than he’d intended them to be. 

Drew flinched and he looked like he wanted to shout, but he just stood back and leaned against the wall to wait. The shoes came off eventually. Kurtis’ body was hot.

“Hey, uh, would you want to maybe fuck me?” He asked, looking up at Drew from where he sat on the floor.

Drew raised both eyebrows, very surprised by Kurtis’ words. His arms stayed folded across his chest, as Kurtis picked himself up off the floor. “Danny’s not here.” 

“That’s okay.” Kurtis replied, taking a half step closer to Drew, and hooking two fingers in the pocket of Drew’s jeans.

“That’s okay?” Drew replied, he was looking very concerned now. Kurtis’ body ached for him to agree to it, now that his mind had narrowed it was all he could think about.

Kurtis swayed closer, and Drew’s arms opened in preparation to catch him, but Kurtis just used the opportunity to lean into his chest. He pressed his lips to Drew’s jaw, and let his hand drift over from the pocket to the front of Drew’s jeans.

“Kurtis,” Drew’s hands came to Kurtis’ upper arms, halfheartedly rubbing at the morning chill that had settled there. “I don’t know if I can.”

Kurtis didn’t care if Drew could. He needed it, now. Maybe this would piss Drew off, maybe he’d be rough. If Danny wasn’t there, maybe Drew would hit him as hard as he deserved to be hit. Kurtis wanted it more than we wanted to breathe.

Kurtis’ hand strayed to the button, and he moved to Drew’s neck testing the tautness of the muscle with his teeth. 

Drew’s grip tightened on his biceps, and Drew pushed him back. “No, Kurtis…”

It was like a kick to the chest. Drew’s rejection. His dick throbbed, and his whole body felt leaded and exhausted. He might’ve cried if he hadn’t been so numb. He stormed off for the washroom. He felt like he might throw up again.

He didn’t throw up, but when he went to bed there was a glass of water on the bedside table.


	9. Chapter 9

Kurtis woke up at 6:00pm. Logically he should have been hungry- but the only thing on his mind was his hangover. He felt horrible. He needed a shower and he needed to get out of there. He reached for the bedside table and didn’t find his phone. It was across the room plugged into a wall outlet.

What day was it? How much longer did he have till his flight? 

The thought of walking across the room to get the phone and check his flight made his head throb. So he tried to do mental math to determine how much longer he had to endure this painful coexistence with his former lovers. They’d arrived on Friday, the party was Saturday, then the Haunt shoot was Tuesday. Which meant today was Thursday? He should have been flying out tomorrow? Kurtis pushed himself up, his mouth filled with saliva, as the room spun and flooded him with nausea. Then he noticed tylenol sitting next to the water.

He downed some pills, and decided he’d escape once the pills kicked in. A soft knock came on the bedroom door. Kurtis’ body panicked, he ducked his head under the covers, and took a couple deep breaths. Maybe whoever it was would leave if they thought he was sleeping.

The door eased open and Kurtis didn’t peak to see who it was. 

“Hey, I know you’re up.” It was Drew, Kurtis vaguely remembered coming on to Drew the previous night and felt a thick wave of embarrassment at the rejection all over again. “Where were you last night?” 

“Doesn’t matter.”

“You should have texted or something. We were worried.” Drew scolded. And Kurtis felt that splintery feeling all over again at the implication that Danny might’ve worried about him. “Do you want dinner?”

“I’m having Dinner with Cody.” Kurtis lied. Drew’s mouth flattened slightly.

“Were you with him last night?” Drew asked, his tone prickly. “We’re talking when you’re back from dinner.”

Kurtis felt like he might’ve gone white with fear. “I need to go.” He said, looking down at his phone like the time mattered. He scrambled out of bed, grabbed a set of clothes and bolted for the shower.

He started the water before he threw up, and lamented the tylenol lost to the toilet. He was pathetic and terrified, and annoyed at himself for the tiny stirring of hope that swirled around his chest. Drew wanted all three of them to talk. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t handle hearing it was really over. Hell- he couldn’t even look Danny in the eye. He kept the shower a little cold, in hopes that the shivers might chase away the hangover. It didn’t work, it just left him uncomfortable.

He didn’t know what to do- so he escaped. This time, he snuck out without being seen by Danny. His feet started on the familiar path to the bar and he regretted ever leaving it. His phone rang on his way out. He considered ignoring it, but lifted it out of his pocket to at least check who it was.

Cody came up on the display. Kurtis furrowed his brows and answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, where are you headed to eat?” Cody’s voice was eager and casual all at once. Kurtis spouted the name of the bar without thinking. Then bit his fist immediately regretting it. “Sweet I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Get us a table.”

Kurtis was confused. He didn’t actually have plans to have dinner with Cody. That was a lie, he told Drew. So why was he actually going for dinner with Cody. “How-?”

“I’ll explain when I get there. See you soon.” The line went dead. Kurtis looked down at the device like some strange foreign thing. Then he sent a quick text to Cody:

_Bring tylenol_

He shook off the weirdness and continued to the bar. He got a table for two this time, and the waitress, recognizing him from the previous night, seemed relieved at that. He felt anxious waiting for Cody to arrive, and his head was still pounding with every sound above a certain decibel. 

“Hey, you look like shit.” Cody arrived and Kurtis winced. His voice seemed to be at the exact decibel that hurt. Cody pulled a pill bottle out of his pocket.

Kurtis grabbed them immediately and downed two with some water. “Thanks.”

There was quiet for a moment while Kurtis waited for Cody to explain how he’d figured out that Kurtis needed a dinner date.

“Drew and Noel were talking about that bullshit with Adonis.” Cody started and Kurtis’s stomach churned at the name. He could only hope that his face remained passive. “And Drew mentioned that you were going for dinner with me. Well, Noel and I were supposed to be gaming tonight so he texted me like: ‘what the hell dude?’ and I was like: ‘first I’m hearing of it.’ Then Noel said that you and Danny had a fight and together we determined, through careful deduction, that you lied to Drew. So I came to be your alibi.”

Kurtis’ brows furrowed, “Why?”

“Cause I’m a good dude.” Cody argued. “Also because Noel said Drew was losing his mind.”

Kurtis couldn’t figure out why Drew would be losing his mind. Drew had Danny. Unless Drew was angry with Danny, or vice versa. Maybe that was why he wanted all three of them to talk. Maybe they were all breaking up? If they talked tonight it would just be to end things, to end things and abandon plans to tour together. Kurtis felt his heart aching and throbbing with hurt from that thought. And that was the moment that the waitress came to take their order.

Kurtis had hardly looked at the menu, and the idea of eating repulsed, so he ordered the same burger Cody was having, thinking that the fries might be the only tolerable part.

“What did Drew say?” Kurtis asked, when the waitress had left.

“I don’t know. Noel just said he was worried about you and Danny, then he had that whole thing with Amanda.” Kurtis furrowed his brows. “That stalker.” Cody clarified, like Kurtis should know what he’s talking about.

Kurtis’ stomach dropped. “He didn’t mention it to me.”

Cody raised an eyebrow at Kurtis’ awkward confession, but went on anyway. “Yeah, Noel was talking to him about it since he dealt with a stalker too. There’s been a car that camps outside their house. Amanda’s mom went to stay with her while Drew was away, but he’s been trying to sort out a restraining order since before the shoot.”

Kurtis didn’t know how to respond. He felt small and horrible. Why didn’t Drew tell him? Did he tell Danny? He hadn’t seemed that much more tense than usual… Maybe Drew only had two settings, stressed and not stressed. 

“Fuck.” Kurtis murmured, taking a drink of water. Kurtis dropped his face into his hands for a moment as his throat tightened. 

_Don’t cry, idiot._

“What happened with you and Danny?” Cody asked. It was the exact wrong thing to ask.

“I-” Kurtis started, swallowing and steadying his voice so it didn’t betray him. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Is it your fault or his?”

“Mine.” Kurtis said. Then changed his answer. “His?” It was Danny’s idea to go negotiate with Adonis. “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Drew blames me.”

“And you feel like shit about it?” Cody prompted. It was un understatement but Kurtis nodded anyway. “Yeah, I can tell.”

Kurtis smiled. “Was it that obvious?” He looked up from his hands at Cody’s dark eyes. He had a disarming smile plastered on his face. It made Kurtis feel like maybe he was being an idiot.

“You should tell them you feel like shit about it.” Cody advised. 

Kurtis laughed. “I’m scared that if I go back they’ll-” Kurtis stopped himself before his voice cracked. “They’ll say they don’t wanna do stuff together anymore.” 

“So your plan was just to avoid them and leave it in limbo forever?” Cody asked, incredulously. Kurtis grumbled. It sounded pretty dumb when Cody said it aloud in that derisive fucking tone. “How can you stand not knowing? If you were dating them, would you just sit around in relationship limbo, not knowing whether you broke up or not?”

Kurtis laughed. Cody had no idea what an apt analogy he’d just made. He snorted and held his stomach, and Cody raised an eyebrow, confused by how funny Kurtis had found the statement.

“Just talk to them.” Cody urged. “Then if you feel like garbage, you can text me and tell me you're a pile of trash, and I’ll say you’re not, and we can go back and forth like that for a while.”

“Telling you that I’m garbage won’t make me less garbage.” Kurtis argued.

“Neither will sitting around feeling like shit about it.” 

Kurtis sighed. He was right. He hated admitting it. “Fine but…”

“But what?” Cody interrupted. “Don’t send dick pics? No promises.” Kurtis laughed again and their food arrived. Their conversation died down, as Kurtis realized just how hungry he was after the first fry. Food was amazing, how had he forgotten that?

“Can I stay with you, if talking doesn’t go well?” Kurtis asked. Cody seemed concerned that whatever this fight was- could potentially get Kurtis kicked out of the place they were staying. “Just till my flight tomorrow.”

“Yeah, if you need to.” Cody said. “But I really doubt that you’ll need to.” 

They finished their meal, and Cody forced Krutis to let him pay. “You should get back,” He said as he fished for his wallet. “Your boys will worry.”

Kurtis’ heart jumped and flopped at the implication that Danny and Drew were his, but laughed all the same.

“Thanks Cody.” Kurtis said, for the food and the company. Kurtis wasn’t sure how talking and eating could have improved his mood so significantly, but it did and for that he was immensely grateful. 

“No problem.” Cody said, as they walked out to the boulevard. The sun was coming down and the sky was just starting to streak pink.

“You know, you kind of seemed like a bit of an ass at first.” Kurtis stated.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“But I realize now, that you’re a nice ass.” 

Cody smiled. “Heh- because you want to slap me?” Kurtis laughed and shook his head. “Cause you want to plough me?” He laughed harder, and Cody joined in.

“Are you done?” Kurtis asked. 

“No, but I’ll let you go.” Cody said. He touched Kurtis’ arm and shiver started from where his hand rested.

“I expect dick pics as soon as you get home to your bathroom mirror.” Kurtis joked.

“As soon as I get home.” Cody promised.

And with that Kurtis went to talk to Danny and Drew.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what guys, I'm straight up vibin' today. I found a beta-reader for my original story and they said they loved it. I got a really sweet comment on this one. Kurtis put out an awesome video. Like life is good. Let's throw down some chapters!

There was a small park outside the place they rented. There was an attractive looking swing set but a young mom and her toddler were using it. Kurtis wondered why they were out so late. The sun was fully set, and the streetlights were lit. Perhaps the child wouldn’t sleep, or it’s mother couldn’t go home. Kurtis took a bench on the other side of the park, to watch them in the least creepy way possible.

The mother grabbed the toddlers toes at the peak of the swing and the child’s piercing screams of laughter nearly scared away the spectre of dread in Kurtis’ stomach.

Kurtis thought about talking. His anxious mind danced around the memories of their visit with Adonis, but refused to go any closer. He tried to imagine speaking to Drew, or to Danny, but all the words he could say stuck like peanut butter in his mouth.

_I don’t want to lose this._

What if he said it and it didn’t matter? What if he said it and the words just hung like paper snowflakes- useless and ugly. What if they were torn from their strings and he was cast aside with them. 

What if Danny and Drew were happy, and it was only him that needed to go?

Kurtis felt his eyes well up again, but the child beat him to actually crying. Neither he nor it’s mother knew what had upset it, but the mother shushed it over her shoulder and Kurtis recalled Danny’s hands on his back, when he woke from a nightmare. He remembered his mouth bleeding and Drew bringing him a cloth to hold to his stitches. 

The thought of it was crushing, yet somehow it drove him back to the apartment.

Drew let him into the building, and his hands shook as he hit the button on the elevator. 

He hovered outside the door to the suite for longer than he should have. At that last second he considered calling Cody and telling him that he’d decided that he didn’t want to know if it was over. He wanted to live in limbo forever because it would be less painful than finding out for sure that he’d lost his two closest friends, and the best sex he’d ever had.

His hand fell to the knob and he swallowed. It turned.

Drew was on the couch, he looked up when Kurtis opened the door. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Kurtis slipped off his shoes and dropped his wallet on the table by the door. It was awkward. He could feel Drew’s anxiety, it was as if his clothes were soaked through with it, and clinging to his body. “Where’s-?”

He didn’t say the name in case the tremble in his voice gave away his fear. Drew shrugged and got up from the couch. Kurtis felt a surge of relief, he wasn’t ready to face Danny just yet. Drew angled his head towards the bedroom, and Kurtis followed him. Did Drew only want to talk to him? Did Danny not even want to see him long enough to break up with him? 

Kurtis’ mind raced as he followed Drew to the bedroom. Drew leaned on the door, easing it open, then with a sidestep and gentle shove, Kurtis found himself on the other side of the closed door. Locked in the bedroom again. 

Kurtis grabbed the knob- it wouldn’t budge. Drew was holding it. 

_What the hell?_

There was a sound behind him, something stirred. Kurtis’ heart took off pounding and he turned to press his back up against the door.

It was Danny. Facing him down across the kind sized bed. It’s silky, crinkled grey sheets were like the storm surge waves of an ocean between them. The soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table made Danny’s skin look warm. Warm and inviting, like an island that he would surely drown trying to reach. 

Kurtis felt for the knob and gave it one last useless tug.

“Drew?” Danny called, there was a waver of uncertainty in his voice.

“He’s holding the door.” Kurtis stated, as if to explain why he was still existing in his presence, when he shouldn’t have been.

“Really, Drew?” Danny called past him. “That’s mature.” 

“I’m sorry.” Kurtis said, the words tumbled out like an exhale. “I shouldn’t have come.”

Danny’s mouth flattened into a serious expression. It looked wrong on Danny, the man he loved smiled, nearly all the time. Danny’s fingers closed and opened again, a muscle in his forearm flexed and relaxed, like he was considering taking the window to get away. 

“Is it over?” Danny asked. His eyes had that far away look in them, like he wasn’t really there. While Kurtis was gutted by each jagged word.

“I don't know.” He replied. He really didn’t. He physically couldn’t admit that it was- even if it felt that way. Maybe if he didn’t know someone would just tell him, so he could hurry up and have his heart broken properly.

Danny seemed angry with that, or hurt. Probably both. Perhaps Danny wanted him to decide. Maybe Kurtis would do it- just so they could stop standing across from one another in pain.

“You said you wouldn’t hate me.” Danny accused. He was drifting- he was in and out. In pain, and far away from it. Kurtis recognized it. It was easy to see on Danny's face. His eyes were blue like a clear sky or blue like electricity- limitlessly empty, or heart-stoppingly painful.

And on top of the powerlessness Kurtis felt against Danny’s back and forth, the words stung him as well. “I don't.”

It was very important that Danny knew that.

“Then why are we like this?” Danny asked. He was getting angry, that was good. The anger kept him present. “Do I disgust you now?”

Kurtis’ hand went for the handle again. He wanted to shout, he wanted to get away from that feeling. Danny knew he didn’t feel like that- so he must’ve said it just to hurt him. 

“You know it’s not like that.” It was as severe as he could be. Danny let out a half a breath, like he might’ve been holding it. And for a moment, Kurtis worried that Danny hadn’t said it to make him feel like shit. 

Kurtis’ heart ached. Danny couldn’t actually think that. Danny went on before he could open his mouth and beg Drew to let him leave. 

“Then why?” Danny asked, his frustration evident. “I’m trying to save this, us, because if we don’t fix it before we leave, I don’t think it will ever get fixed.” Danny admitted. “So in spite of the overwhelming evidence that you two are done with this, I'm trying.”

Kurtis felt his whole body light up with a hopeful thing so fragile he was scared to move lest he shatter it. The hand on the handle turned, and he glanced down to tear the door open. He came face to face with Drew.

“Did you know?” Kurtis asked, suddenly furious that no one has told him that Danny didn’t want their thing to be over.

“What do you mean, did I know?” Drew countered, his tone equally annoyed.

“This!” Kurtis gestured wildly behind him, at Danny, at the very precious words. He was certain Drew overheard. His hand closed in on Drew’s shirt like a lifeline.

“What? That he liked fucking dating us?” Drew asked incredulously. “Did you not know?”

“Are you done?” Kurtis asked hurriedly, anxiously. Both of his hands were crinkling Drew’s shirt.

“Did you listen to anything that he just fucking said?” Drew’s voice was angry, but he also seemed on the verge of relief. “He wants to take a break up off the table.”

Kurtis’ body was flooded with relief. Drew looked at Danny to confirm, Danny nodded, but Kurtis didn’t let go of Drew yet.

“What do you want?” Kurtis asked. Drew shook him off, still angry. “I could go.” Kurtis offered, his body shaking with the crush of a hope poised on the verge of shatter.

“If you want to, go ahead.” Drew shot back. “Go get fucked by Cody.”

“Drew.” Danny’s voice was razor sharp. The jab wasn’t enough to extinguish the flickering hopefulness Kurtis had found.

Kurtis could feel it, the words sticking in his throat. If he said them, if he dared to admit that he wanted it- and they shot him down anyways, he’d be destroyed. 

“I don't want to break up.” 

“Jesus Christ, then it's off the table.” Drew said, his words were still sharp, but the tension was leaking out of the room at the final admission. “See- easy. Fucking basic communication.”

“Are you sure-” Kurtis asked, as his body lit up with something warm and okay. Something close to what he usually felt with them. It was so nice, and familiar, he thought he might cry for having missed it so desperately. 

“So sure, more sure than I've ever been about anything.” Drew said firmly, both for Kurtis’ benefit and for Danny’s. Danny was still far away from them, across the room, by the window. Too skittish to come closer.

Kurtis backed away from Drew to wrap his arms around his middle. It felt as though his knees might give out with the relief. Tears came. Why did he cry so easily?

“Are you okay?” Drew asked. Kurtis pushed a fist across his cheek, and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“I’m glad.” He croaked. Danny was looking at him with the edge of a smile. It was so close to how Danny looked at him after they’d slept together that Kurtis lost another tear down his cheek. He laughed as he scrubbed it away.

Drew looked between them. He projected significantly less anxiety. Like Kurtis’ tears made him feel a little better too. “So-” Drew began, directing his attention at Kurtis. “Why have you been avoiding Danny?”

“I know why he’s avoiding me.” Danny replied.

“You do?” Kurtis asked, surprised. Kurtis wasn’t even sure he knew why he’d been avoiding Danny. A huge part of it was fearing that Danny would end things with him, the other part was the guilt of going along with what Adonis told him to do. 

“Yeah, For what I did…” Danny said, his voice faltered. He brought a hand to his ribs to rub away some pain that had come from saying it aloud. 

“No I’m not.” Kurtis argued. Danny didn’t hear him. He was falling inward, into shame and self loathing. It was drowning him, and Kurtis moved toward him automatically, desperate to save him. “I’m not mad at you for anything Adonis made you do.” Kurtis tripped on the corner of the bed in his haste. Then when he reached Danny he realized that he didn’t know whether Danny would let him touch him. So Kurtis came up short. “I feel bad… about what happened, I didn’t stop it. I didn’t say anything.” The words dripped down Kurtis’ spine like glacial runoff. “I’m mad at myself, not you.”

Danny looked at Kurtis like he’d jumped into the water with him. Like Kurtis was a fool for swimming out to save him. Then opened his arm every so slightly, like he wasn’t sure if Kurtis would want to touch him.

Kurtis seized the opportunity. He wrapped his arms around Danny as tight as he could. He pressed his face into Danny’s neck and his shoulder, and he felt Danny squeeze and flex, like he couldn’t get Kurtis close enough.

“I’m sorry.” Danny mumbled, his hand pressed Kurtis’ curls. Kurtis was locked tight to his warm chest, he bit his lip as a surge of emotion threatened at how good it felt to be close to Danny again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is your posting schedule, Lambardo?
> 
> Well you see, I can't sleep so... tonight is my posting schedule. Thank you for asking. 
> 
> I'm doing rewrites in my other story. Rewrites are exhausting. Since these stories are indulgent, I don't normally do rewrites. The only draft before what you guys see is just like a quick notes, untagged transcript of the dialogue. (Because my god, do I ever love writing dialogue). 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy more of the boys fighting. This time featuring angry Drew (best Drew in my opinion).

“I don’t want to leave tomorrow.” Kurtis whined into Danny’s neck. He smelled like the shampoo all three of them had been using, Kurtis probably smelled like it too. It shouldn’t have been as comforting as it was. 

“I want to try and change our flights.” Drew said. 

Danny loosened his grip. “Do you think you can?” 

Kurtis wriggled out from his arms to face Drew. Drew took their phones and disappeared into the front room, to try. 

“Do you think a couple more days will be enough to fix… this?” Kurtis asked, as he watched the door Drew left through.

“I don’t know.” Danny said. “I feel it all the time. Like a rock in my stomach. It’s just hurting.” 

Kurtis’ body responded to the words and he wrapped his arms around Danny again. He kissed his jaw and his cheek. Then their lips met and it was both lovely and painful at once. For a half of a second Kurtis thought of Adonis using Danny’s mouth and with a swift spike of panic and anguish, he broke the kiss. Danny’s eyes said it hurt for him to. 

“We’re all sorts of fucked up.” Kurtis murmured.

“Drew still feels angry, and I’m scared that if he leaves, that anger will just build into-” Danny cut himself off as Drew came back.

“I fly out Monday night, you and Kurtis are Tuesday morning.” Drew reported. That gave them three days. Would that be enough?

“Thank you,” Danny said, letting go of Kurtis. “Ready to start fighting again?” 

“Is that what we’re doing?” Drew asked, with a hint of annoyance. “I thought we were talking.” 

“Which one of us are you mad at?” Danny countered. Kurtis noticed Drew’s irritation grow. Perhaps it was from Danny accusing him of being angry. To him, Drew’s demeanor didn’t so much project anger as it projected stress. It was easy to mix up the two of them with Drew, as they both clipped his words, and made you want to avoid him. 

Then Kurtis recalled what Cody had told him. He turned to Danny. “Did he tell you about Amanda?”

“How do you know about that?” Drew snapped.

“What about her?”

“They’ve got a stalker, that’s been hanging around the house.” Kurtis said. Drew’s mouth flattened.

“Holy shit, why didn’t you tell us?” Danny rounded on Drew. They were definitely fighting now. 

“Cody told you.” Drew said. “When you were at his place.” The words were cold, and carried the hint of an accusation.

“No, at dinner just now.” Kurtis corrected. “I didn’t spend the night at his place.”

“Then where the hell were you last night?” Drew said, his tone properly biting now. Kurtis noticed the tension in the set of Drew’s shoulders and felt his own temper flare.

“At a bar. I didn’t sleep.” Kurtis explained, deliberately maintaining an even tone. Drew raised his eyebrows, like he wanted to roll his eyes. Kurtis shifted his footing, going on the defensive. “That's why I came in drunk, then passed out as soon as I got into bed.”

“I wasn’t suggesting you slept at Cody’s.” Drew said. 

“Where the hell is this going, Drew?” Danny stepped in, asking the question on Kurtis’ mind.

“You didn’t hear the audio.” Drew said, he hardly even looked at Danny. “Cody’s been coming onto him hard since the shoot.”

“So what?” Kurtis’ voice pitched. He felt the frustration building in his throat. “I haven’t been with him.”

“Yeah, well, you haven’t fucking been here either!” Drew shouted. He bit his tongue immediately. He looked annoyed at himself for raising his voice, but he wasn’t taking it back.

Kurtis felt the argument fracturing like cloud cover. “I’m sorry.” His chest contracted, painfully. 

“Danny’s been weird. He wouldn’t let me fucking touch him and you just disappeared. I had no idea what was going on in your head. I was scared you were going to jump off a fucking bridge. Danny was- I don’t even know.” Drew’s hands came up to his head, like he wanted to tear his hair out. His grasping fingers stopped short, just closing to fists as he burned through the last of the angry energy, and was left with emptiness. “I don’t know, Kurtis. I don’t think I’m even mad at you. I just feel useless.

“I put that shit in the deposition. I was angry. I lied, I said I suspected more than had happened. That’s what put it in his head.”

Kurtis reached Drew before Danny did. He tucked himself under Drew’s arm and latched onto him, providing comfort that he’d had no idea Drew needed. Drew’s arms tightened around him. He could almost feel Drew’s guilt as vibrant and potent as his own. 

Danny hadn’t moved though, Drew watched him over Kurtis’ shoulder. He looked like he wanted to speak.

“I didn’t agree to do it because I felt bad about lying on the deposition.” Kurtis turned to face Danny. Danny’s eyes were brilliant and focused. Like whatever he was about to say was deeply important. “And I didn’t do it just to fix the legal shit on the video-

“I felt like- I had to. I don’t know. The way he talked, I just kept thinking that this guy has money and he’s going to fuck things up for us, and it’s my fault for getting involved with him. I felt like I had to do it so it would be over. So he would leave us alone.” Kurtis nodded. He knew the exact feeling, he knew because it stole his voice, and froze him in place, back at the house. Danny turned to Kurtis, he was in pain.

“You took the drugs. Every time I thought about leaving or fighting I just kept worrying they would hit you or hurt you, which maybe would have been better. I had all this fear, and I just let things happen that were horrible. I’m so sorry.”

“I felt it too,” Kurtis said. “That yucky feeling.”

“He manipulated you,” Drew said. “You might have agreed to it but only because he made you feel like you had no other choice.” He directed the words at Danny. “I know you’re probably not going to stop feeling horrible about it overnight but please don’t blame yourself. The shitty things that happened to you, are just things that happened. You are not bad for having experienced them.”

Kurtis felt tears welling and leaking down his face. Why weren’t they in bed? Why were they all standing and fighting? Why weren’t Danny and Drew making out?

Kurtis nudged Drew over to the bed. He pushed him down but he only sat on the edge. Then Kurtis turned on Danny. 

He stormed over, swiping tears from his cheeks as he did. He grabbed Danny’s hand, and tugged it, urging Danny to come away from the window, and closer to Drew. Danny stopped short, and scrubbed at his eye, perhaps against a tear. They were still eyeing one another wearily. Annoyance flared up in Kurtis. 

“Kiss and make up.” Kurtis demanded. He felt a little childish, like a kid mashing two dolls' faces together, but he really didn’t understand why they were still hesitating.

“You aren’t mad at me.” Danny said. Drew rolled his eyes.

“I am mad at you.” Drew corrected. “You did the exact same thing you did at the party, you went off and did something on your own without saying anything.”

Danny sucked in a breath, preparing to refute. “You didn’t tell us about Amanda.” Drew flinched at the bite in the accusation. “And you weren’t letting us do anything to help with the suit on the video.”

Drew darkened, both angry and a little confused. He stood, setting him squarely in Danny’s space. “Are you saying you wouldn’t have gone to negotiate with him, if I’d let you help? None of this would have happened? Seriously?”

“No!” Danny argued, immediately regretting shifting the blame. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say! Just stop acting like you’re the only one that can do this stuff. The police reports and the lawyers, I want you to date me, not work for me.”

“I’m not Kurtis, I can’t just hug you and make everything better!” Drew bit back.

“Yes, you can!” 

“I can’t!” Drew shouted. “I can’t fucking read you right now! You look like you’re in pain, all the time, then you just check out, and I don’t know where you go. I’m obviously too dumb to figure out what you want, so you have to fucking tell me.”

“Be mad at me!” 

Drew looked to Kurtis, like Danny had spoken a foreign language. Kurtis rolled his eyes. “Kiss him.” 

“That’s not what he said.” Drew said.

Kurtis shook his head. “Yeah, but he’s also dumb.” 

“I’m right here.” Danny pointed out, with annoyance.

“Do you not want him to kiss you?” Kurtis asked.

“No.”

“Jesus Christ.” Drew closed the foot of space between them, and kissed Danny without a hint of hesitation. It carried all the fire of the argument- it burnt with jealousy and pain, and Danny was helpless to it.

Kurtis felt a shooting pulse of heat rocket down his spine. The makeout went on, with fractured breaths and a deep groan from Danny as Drew’s tongue slipped inside. Kurtis huffed a laugh as he adjusted himself in his pants. He carefully crawled up onto the bed to get a better vantage point to watch from. They broke for breath, panting over one another's lips, and Drew was the first to spot him.

“Enjoying the show?” Drew asked, slyly eyeing the thickness in Kurtis’ jeans. Danny laughed, and squirmed out of Drew’s arms to crawl into bed after Kurtis. 

“You don’t have to stop.” Kurtis said, as Danny crawled over him, and nosed his way under Kurtis’ chin. 

“Ah-” Kurtis gasped, as he felt Danny’s teeth on his neck. His dick started to ache from where it was positioned. “Could we try…” Danny’s kisses lightened as he listened to Kurtis, Kurtis raised his hips to brush his dick against Danny’s thigh, and convey his meaning without words.

“You wanna try make up sex?”


	12. Chapter 12

Drew folded his arms. He looked apprehensive. “You do realize that the both of you are still very not okay, right?” 

“I want to try.” Danny said, sitting up to talk to Drew properly.

Drew sighed. “If we do- I need super good communication.” He looked between Danny’s flushed cheeks and Kurtis’ eager quirk of a smile. “Extra- very good communication.” Kurtis swallowed and nodded. Danny’s hand came out to tease the front of Kurtis’ jeans, tracing the outline with his fingers. “If you don’t tap out when you need to, it’s bad for everyone. Understood?”

They both nodded. Drew looked like he might want to make them verbally confirm it, and was waiting to see if he’d regret that decision. Danny’s fingers loosened the button, and opened Kurtis’ jeans. Kurtis’ chest rose and fell shallowly- he felt eager and nervous and the sensations were a little confusing.

His heart pounded with each movement Danny made, but the ache of his hardness came with guilt and a little bit of self hatred as well. But then Danny's hand was touching him through the thin cotton of his boxers and he forgot about feeling bad for a second and only felt the zipping charge of the touch.

Danny pushed his boxers down, and lowered his head. Kurtis felt his pulse pick up. The race of it started to feel more like fear than lust. He felt Danny’s breath on his skin, then a wave of shame and self-loathing suffocated every pleasant thing about the experience.

He tapped twice on Danny’s shoulder. Danny sat back and away. His breaths were quick, like Kurtis’. Then those fast breaths became a breathy laugh.

Kurtis couldn’t help it, he started to giggle too. It was so painful he felt like he had to. Drew looked between them like they’d both gone insane.

“Maybe that wasn’t a good place to start.” Danny said, with a shake of his head.

“I was curious too.” Kurtis admitted. “What if Drew was behind you- so then it’s like- we’re definitely safe.”

“Let’s try.” Danny said with determination.

“Can I just say,” Drew said as they switched positions. Kurtis came to lean against the edge of the bed, while Danny and Drew got to the floor. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Danny and Kurtis ignored him. Danny’s hand came to Kurtis’ flagging cock and tried to bring it back to life. He brought his mouth up to it, while Kurtis focused very hard on where Drew’s arm held Danny's chest. Danny didn’t even manage to get his mouth around Kurtis’ dick before Kurtis felt two quick taps on his thigh.

“Fuck.” Kurtis exhaled, heart still pounding with stress. He immediately sank to the floor. “I’m sorry.” Danny put his arms around Kurtis’ neck and kissed him furiously. Kurtis was pulled into Danny’s lap, until his legs were halfways around him and his lips were swollen. He could feel Danny’s shame and anxiety in the press of their lips, and in the thrum of their hearts as they comforted one another.

“You two are clearly not ready for this.” Drew said as he sat back, and sighed. “There are lots of other things we can do besides this.” 

Danny glanced back at him, but his arms were still tight around Kurtis. “I don’t want him to have actually damaged us.”

Kurtis felt a sob, building, and his dick was nowhere near hard anymore. But he was able to swallow it back with Danny’s arms around him. “I don’t know if I can keep going.”

Drew huffed with annoyance, not at losing out on sex, but at the fact that both his lovers were hurting again. “Well, watching you two cry doesn’t do much for me either.”

“Wanna watch a movie?” Danny asked. Kurtis nodded, and after a little more cuddling on the floor, they rose, to do just that. 

It took them half an hour to choose something, then another half an hour to get it going on the wall-mounted tv in the bedroom. They were tired, and subdued after their fight, it was getting later, but they were all a little too wound up to sleep. They ended up watching one of the new Spiderman movies with Tom Holland. The experience was surreal. Kurtis had trouble reconciling the comic book character he’d admired as a child with the handsome dude he’d met at a party. 

Midway through the movie, his thoughts started to drift. At first he felt annoyed with himself for not being able to handle Danny going down on him. Then he felt guilty that Danny couldn’t handle it either. He started thinking that Danny might never suck his dick again and the thought was both infuriating and depressing.

He nuzzled into Danny’s side and pressed his lips to a spot under Danny’s jaw. It wasn’t meant to turn Danny on, Kurtis was only doing it to comfort himself. He brushed his hand against the firm muscle in Danny's chest, he drew a small circle, and Danny’s breath hitched ever so slightly. 

Kurtis didn’t even know if he’d turned Danny on or if his mind was interpreting the flicker of a breath as something more than it was, but he felt a spasm of interest in the nerves endings near his pelvis.

Kurtis let his hand fall lower, tracing the slight divet between the muscle of Danny’s abdomen down to the waistband of Danny’s boxers. He paused when he got there, realizing Danny had given him zero indication of interest. 

He didn’t withdraw his hand though. He tried to pay attention to the movie, but his fingers subconsciously traced the line of the waistband, while his mind drifted to what was underneath. 

Then Danny’s hand came to cover his. Kurtis was certain Danny was going to push him away, until he dragged his palm to center, over something brutally hard. Kurtis’ mind went white with how hot it was. Then Danny was directing his thumb to the waist band. Kurtis didn’t understand what was happening until Danny’s knees came up, like he was changing positions beneath the blanket, and his boxers shifted off somehow. 

Kurtis looked past Danny to Drew to see if he’d noticed. If Drew did notice he wasn’t admitting to it. Danny directed Kurtis’ hand to his dick, and Kurtis began the careful work of performing an undercover handjob.

Of course, Kurtis desperately wanted to get caught. His mind was racing with what Drew might do if he caught on to them. His fingers teased and touched Danny’s inner thighs, and ran over his balls, eliciting shivers and stifled gasps. While his head was full with the thought of Drew’s hand in his hair- shoving his mouth down over Danny’s cock.

Kurtis’ fingers drifted past Danny’s dick and began teasing Danny’s ass. Danny moaned- turning the tail end of it into a cough. 

“Drew?” Danny’s voice was low and soft- with an edge the Kurtis recognized to be arousal. He wondered if Drew could hear it too. “Could you grab me a glass of water?”

Drew raised an eyebrow as if to ask if there was some reason Danny could not get it himself. But he climbed out of bed anyways. As soon as he was out of sight, Kurtis abandoned his task, to steal lube from the bedside table. Danny winced as Kurtis’ cold gelled fingers took up their previous position. 

They heard the tap running in the kitchen, and Danny’s arm tightened around Kurtis snugging him back into position. Kurtis giggled, and their eyes met for a moment. They were both experiencing the heart fluttering thrill of their shared secret. Then their lips met, and Kurtis pressed his middle finger in to the first knuckle. 

Danny’s gasp and groan was lost in Kurtis’ mouth but Drew’s return forced them to part. Drew handed Danny the glass and as Danny took his first sip Kurtis eased the digit out halfway, then pushed it a little deeper. Danny dropped the glass from his lips with a short cough. 

“Thanks,” He murmured. Drew lifted the blanket to get back under it, and Kurtis’ heart rate spiked with excitement at being caught. 

But Drew didn’t say anything, his arm fell over the pillows behind Danny’s head and he went right back to watching. Kurtis kissed Danny’s neck as if to reassure him then eased out, and rocked in again to the second knuckle.

Danny swallowed what was surely a lovely sound. Kurtis took up an agonizingly slow pace- fingering Danny in such a way that it was possible for him to bite his tongue against the sounds. His ragged breaths fell over Kurtis’ curls, as they pretended to care about Tom Holland's emotional turmoil.

Danny was maintaining his composure well, Kurtis thought, until he added another finger. 

“Ah-” Danny gasped. Kurtis stole a look up at him, to find his cheeks glowing, sunset pink extending over his chest. His lips looked bitten, and his eyes were low lidded with arousal. He looked gorgeous.

Kurtis’ whole body was rocked with a painful reminder of how desperately attracted to the man he was. Then he got distracted, by Drew shifting on Danny’s other side.

Drew’s fingers wove into the hairs at the back of Danny’s head. Kurtis felt Danny's pulse racing in time with his own. Drew’s other hand snaked under the covers to grab hold of Danny’s achingly hard dick.

Kurtis knew when Drew’s fist closed over it, because Danny squeezed against his fingers. “You two are in trouble.” Drew said, voice low, his words meant for Danny’s ear, but making Kurtis shiver anyways. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Danny let out a proper groan now, as Drew started to move his hand. Danny’s brows pulled together with an expression close to concern, when he realized he was now at the mercy of the pair of them.

Kurtis rocked his fingers out and in, slower even than the pace he’d been going. Danny's next moan was cut by Drew’s lips covering his mouth, and tasting his desperation. Danny’s hips started rocking- trying to catch enough stimulation to bring him over the edge.

Drew’s fingers closed in Danny’s hair, tilting his head back, and exposing Danny’s neck. Drew looked down at Danny’s face with an odd mix of love, desire, and a weak attempt at disapproval. “You’re close.” 

“Fuck-” Danny breathed, and Kurtis felt the clench on his fingers again. Kurtis stroked the spot inside Danny that made him arch his back and fist the sheets.

“God I love when you’re a mess like this.” Drew purred, stroking Danny’s hair as he panted, through the mix of sensation. “Mm- what if I let go,” Danny gasped, and his muscles tightened seeking the stimulation lost. Drew chuckled, “Think you could cum just from Kurtis’ fingers inside you?”

Kurtis curled his fingers again, and Danny’s head fell back with a barely stifled whimper. “Please, Drew.”

Drew smiled and Kurtis felt the flex as Drew took up Danny’s cock again. Drew pulled the blanket down, exposing Danny to them. There was a mess of precum over his stomach, Kurtis’ fingers were buried deep inside him, and Drew's hand was working his cock with loving deftness.

“You’re lucky I want to feel it.” Drew said, kissing Danny’s forehead and flicking his wrist in a movement that made all Danny’s muscles tighten at once. 

“Ah-” Danny cried out, as the tension broke and burst, surprising him. It shot from Drew’s hand coating Danny’s stomach, and Kurtis bit down on Danny’s neck as he felt his dick pulse desperately at every squeeze of his fingers. Danny’s breaths came short and sharp as he came down from the fleeting high. Kurtis eased his fingers free.

Drew pet Danny’s hair again, smiling to himself as Danny panted. “I love you.” He murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to Danny's cheek. While Kurtis breathed against his own desperate need for release. Drew got up to find something to clean up with. 

“Are you okay?” Kurtis whispered. He shifted out from under Danny’s chin, and their eyes met.

Danny smiled. “Yeah, I think so.” Danny’s hand cradled the back of Kurtis’ head and their lips met. “I did actually get pretty close from just your fingers.”

Kurtis’ mind fogged with happiness and horniness at the statement. Drew returned with cloth and began cleaning them up. “Was that okay with you? I feel like I kinda initiated without checking…” Danny went on.

Kurtis nodded and swallowed, his head still felt light with the lack of blood flow to it. “It was really good.” 

“Good.” Danny said. “Can I do anything- to help you…?” He said tilting his head to direct the question at Drew as well. Drew brushed Danny’s hair back and kissed his forehead.

“Do you need a rest, or a cuddle or something?” Drew asked quietly. 

Danny shook his head. “I think that was it for me tonight but I wanna help you and Kurtis.”

Drew smiled. He tossed Danny’s boxers at him and stood to open the button on his jeans. “Kurtis- do you have anything specific that you want?” Kurtis shook his head, he wanted to do whatever Drew told him to do. Drew smirked down at him like he knew that his next word would have an effect. “You’re good if I just use you then?”

Kurtis’ body was flooded with cottony heat all over again. His dick throbbed. Drew raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an answer.

“Yes.” Kurtis’ voice was less a word and more a sharp inhale of excitement.

“Great.” Drew chirped. “Danny- can you take his clothes off for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my first draft this chapter was just called Sex - First Attempt. 
> 
> The boys are struggling and there are going to be attempts with varying levels of success.


	13. Chapter 13

Danny’s hands were hot and soft against Kurtis’ skin. His fingers trailed up Kurtis’ ribs as he lifted the shirt, then they burned down his hips as he removed Kurtis’ shorts. Then the air raised goosebumps, the caress of it lit the ends of his nerves with excitement at what was to come. 

Or maybe that excitement was coming from within, from that part of him that couldn’t stop thinking about Drew’s promise to use him. 

Drew eased himself down into the indent of the pillows, into a comfortable recline. Someone had turned off the movie, and so the air was just quietly humming with Kurtis’ excitement. He was certain it had to be audible to them, it was roaring so loud in his ears. 

Danny raised an eyebrow at Drew’s position. Drew’s legs were spread, his hard dick resting against his abs. He locked eyes with Kurtis, and patted the spot between his legs. Kurtis crawled over, uncertain as to how Drew wanted to position him, but Drew wasn’t shy about physically manipulating the smaller man. 

With Kurtis’ back against Drew’s chest and his knees bent up. Drew caught Kurtis’ foot with his leg and pried his legs open. He held out a hand and Danny passed the lube like he’d read his mind. Drew took some in his hand, and brought a hand to his dick. 

Kurtis felt Drew’s fist moving over his cock, on his lower back. His mind buzzed with curiosity and anticipation. Then Drew applied the slick liquid to Kurtis’ inner thighs. Kurtis was confused for all of one second, until Drew closed Kurtis’ legs, pushed his hips aloft, pulled them back, and thrust his dick between them. 

Kurtis’ breath was knocked from his lungs. The sensation wasn’t what shocked him- what surprised him was the confidence and deftness Drew showed in making it happen. Kurtis shifted himself to the side a bit, so he could hold Drew’s shoulder from this strange new position. Drew’s hands were locked tight on his hips, and Kurtis gasped at how tightly they held him.

Drew pushed him up, and Kurtis bit his lip, as Drew’s cockhead brushed past his testes lighting the nerves between his legs. Drew dragged him back down, and groaned. Kurtis’ dick pulsed- why was it so hot?

It really shouldn’t have been. Drew wasn’t even touching his dick. Drew bucked his hips again and Kurtis bit back a moan that threatened. 

“Nice and tight for me now.” Drew encouraged him. The words were soft and low in his ear, and Kurtis felt them all the way out to his toes. 

Drew’s fingers tightened on his hips. Kurtis couldn’t stop thinking about his dick. He felt it everywhere. There was something so weirdly hot about Drew fucking him like this. “Ah-” He gasped, as Danny’s warm wet hand closed over his dick.

Then he tasted Danny’s tongue, it filled his mouth possessively. The press of his tongue, coupled with the firmness of his grip, it felt like Danny was playing with him. Drew used his hips like handles. Like he was just something for Drew to fuck, or for Danny to touch, and it made his mind empty and his body burn.

Danny’s mouth was gone, and Kurtis was given a chance to breathe. The puffs of air were battered and broken. Drew picked up his pace. “You feel good.” Drew murmured. “Like you were made to be used.”

Danny’s grip tightened and Kurtis was blinded by the precipice as he nearly came. Then the sparks flickered, as Danny slowed his pace, and the aching pressure in his pelvis was still there. “Fuck.” He breathed.

“Maybe when I’m finished with you.” Drew quietly mocked. Like he could somehow tell how close Kurtis came to losing himself. Those words drove him close again. Danny leaned past Kurtis to kiss Drew. Kurtis couldn’t look away.

Drew was breathing hard into Danny’s mouth, and he picked up his pace. Nearly bruising Kurtis’ hips, his grip was so tight. Danny slipped his tongue in, and Drew groaned. His muscles were tightening behind Kurtis. 

He was going to cum. Kurtis was certain of it, and it drove him straight to the edge. Danny felt it too, and adjusted the hand on Kurtis’ dick accordingly. He felt Drew tremble, then explode, hot wet cum fell across Kurtis’ thighs. Kurtis threw his head back and his orgasm squeezed him tight then let go in an array of sparkling fireworks behind his eyes. 

“Ah-” He cried out, and Danny came to kiss him through the aftershocks, urging more cum to join the mess over Kurtis’ body. Drew’s fingers lifted and stretched, then he pushed Kurtis up and off of him.

“I can do it.” Danny said, urging Drew to stay in bed while he fetched something to clean up with. 

“Sorry-” Drew murmured. “I’m sure you were looking forward to something more exciting than that.”

Kurtis kissed Drew, then pulled back and smiled at him. “I liked it.”

“I just wanted to be cautious. I didn’t know if either of you could handle oral, and I was scared that if I tried to fuck you, then hurt you somehow, that Danny would freak out.” Drew rambled. Kurtis raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t thought of any of that.

“I thought you just wanted to do that.” Kurtis said.

Drew laughed. “I was also curious- yeah.” He looked down over the mess. They heard the sink run and Kurtis smiled. Danny almost never had to clean them up. He was usually too tired to do it- or he was the last to cum. “Maybe I should have asked first.” Drew mused. “but I thought you might be able to get into it.”

“I can get into anything as long as you talk during it.” Kurtis said. Drew huffed a laugh. 

“Did you want something rougher?” Drew asked. “I’ve been getting that vibe since…” Kurtis felt the stirrings of what would have been embarrassment if he wasn’t covered in the blonde’s cum.

He shrugged. “It can wait. I’d rather...”

Danny returned and Kurtis didn’t finish the thought, but he didn’t have to. Drew understood. Kurtis would rather focus on Danny. Drew took over once Danny brought the cloth, but the inside of Kurtis’ thighs was still sticky from the lube.

“I’m just going to shower.” Kurtis stated, as he crawled out of bed. His muscles were a little sore from how wound up they’d been all evening. Danny kissed him. Drew kissed him and it was close to 1:00am by the time he crawled back into bed with the pair.

There was a solitary text on his phone from Cody.

_How’d it go?_

Kurtis smiled, Danny was passed out beside him, Drew was nearly asleep, and Kurtis felt so much better than he’d felt just a few hours ago.

_Things are good. We’re staying a couple more days. We didn’t get a chance to shoot something for my channel._

Kurtis put the phone on the bedside tables and yawned. The screen lit up, and Kurtis picked it up again to see Cody’s response. 

[Tap to view image] 

Kurtis tapped the blurred picture, and the 46th vice president of the United States lit up his screen. He bit his lip against a giggle that threatened. 

_Nice dick._

Kurtis typed back. He shook his head, thinking that would be the final word, but another message came through before he could set the device down.

_If you’re still here on Sunday, you guys wanna be extras in a music video we’re shooting?_

Kurtis glanced over at his snoring companions.

_Danny and Drew are asleep. I’ll ask tomorrow, but probably yeah._

_Sick._

Kurtis finally put the phone down. He shut his eyes and his mind wanted to run through the fight and the failed make-up sex. It wanted to dissect every little thing he’d said that evening, but his body was sated. And that was enough to convince his brain to go the fuck to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for more angst next week - coming soon to a theatre near you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure why I'm posting today, but here we are. Lol. 
> 
> Welcome to sex second attempt... This one is kind of a big angst. Please enjoy.

The next morning Kurtis told Danny and Drew about the music video, and it made all three of them feel better about staying in LA. It wasn’t that Kurtis regretted rescheduling the flights. There were still issues that he and Danny were struggling with but the thought had crossed his mind that perhaps Drew should maybe be getting back to his wife.

After breakfast he asked Drew about it. He selfishly didn’t want Drew to leave, but he was also worried for Amanda. Drew reassured him that Amanda’s mom was with her, and that they were on day two with no sign of the stalker but even Drew didn’t seem entirely reassured by the platitudes. But he also worried that if he returned, the stalker might come back as well. Drew was torn, having a work-related function helped. 

After breakfast they filmed something for Kurtis’ channel, then worked on the tour until they reached that awkward point in the day where they were starving at 4:00pm because they hadn’t eaten lunch. They ordered in, and kept working with pad thai and takeout grease on their keyboards.

Kurtis had been keeping an eye on Danny throughout the day, and while they were working he was surprisingly fine. He was focused and they were laughing. Then there were moments where he wasn’t fine. Kurtis understood in those moments what Drew meant about it being hard to read Danny. His smile was there for a moment, then it was gone. There was a flash of pain, then it was gone. Like the dealer at the casino flashing you a card, and you knew for certain that you saw what it was but when it came time to place your bet you second-guessed it, not trusting what your eyes had seen.

Overall, Danny was okay though. He accepted their affection, they’d gotten good work done that day, and one thing led to another, until Kurtis was on his back, on the edge of the bed, with Danny’s cock buried inside him.

Kurtis hadn’t done as well as Danny that day. Outwardly he was productive, and cheerful, but he’d been battered by intrusive thoughts the entire day. Like passive aggressive sticky notes, he was bombarded with reminders as to his role in Danny’s sexual assault. 

_You did nothing. You’re useless. You should have…_

To combat the endless banner of unpleasantness, Kurtis had been thinking about sex - all day. Every time something came up he thought about getting fucked and forgetting, how fantastic it would feel to get fucked and forget for a second, and how maybe if he made Danny and Drew feel good, then they might forget too.

So when Drew said his name, and put a hand on his thigh to slow the rocking of his hips. Kurtis’ first thought was that he shouldn’t have let Danny go negotiate with Adonis. That thought hit him before he’d even managed to figure out what Drew was saying.

“What?” Kurtis flexed his hips, and Danny’s dick slid a half inch further which silenced his brain again. 

“Danny?” Drew had a hand on Danny’s cheek, angling him to better search his blue eyes. “Are you okay?”

Danny didn’t say anything for a moment, he just nodded. Then he managed to form some words. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Kurtis rolled his hips, and his breath caught at the sensation. It was so close to being painful.

“I don’t know if you are.” Drew said, his voice even and careful. “Can you feel anything?”

Danny shook his head ever so slightly.

“Okay, let’s just take a quick break.” Drew said softly. He carefully pulled Danny’s hips back until he slipped free. Kurtis gasped with disappointment. He was wracked with a wave of guilt as his body pulsed and pleaded for the promise of pleasure unfulfilled.

Drew had Danny lie down. Then he sat down between the two to pet slow, soft strokes down Danny’s back. Kurtis was pissed at Drew for stopping them. Then he felt horrible for thinking it. He felt all sorts of horrible. He was disappointed in himself for not noticing Danny wasn’t okay, and angry at his body’s impatience. 

“I’m sorry.” Kurtis murmured, as the weight of his guilt came to rest heavy on his chest. “I shouldn’t have pushed for this.” 

“It’s okay,” Drew reassured him in a low voice. “it’s not over or ruined, we’re just taking a break.”

It felt ruined, the oppressive atmosphere of guilt and shame was near suffocating. Definitely wasn’t doing anything for his boner. In concert with that thought were even more oppressive thoughts, the running commentary was kicking into gear- now with new fuel and Kurtis ached for the quiet bliss of getting fucked.

“Whatever you’re thinking- stop it.” Drew said. Kurtis smiled. He really wished that he could - the only off switch he found was sex. He didn’t relay that to Drew though. “Come cuddle him.”

“Are you busy or something?” Kurtis bit back. Drew huffed a sigh of annoyance at the tone Kurtis took. Kurtis didn’t even know why he’d said it like that, or why he was resisting. 

Maybe it didn’t feel right cuddling Danny when he felt like it was his fault that Danny was dissociating in the first place. Drew didn’t press him further, he just laid down beside Danny and put an arm around him.

Kurtis got up, grabbed his phone, and went to the other room to jack off. Drew didn’t ask where he was going, Kurtis was deeply annoyed at his body's insistence, but he already felt horrible- what was one more thing?

He didn’t put headphones in- he just watched gifs and listened for Danny and Drew to get up. His dick was hard in his hand but he was aching to be fucked. He could finger himself- but then he wouldn’t have the porn- which he needed to keep his runaway thoughts from killing his erection. He almost wanted to laugh at how pathetic it was.

Kurtis tried to come quickly but the suffocating disappointment made it difficult. Then when he thought he could be getting close- he heard Danny and Drew speaking in the other room. 

“I’ll ask him.” He heard Drew say. Kurtis rapidly tucked himself away and switched to something less graphic on his phone. He wasn’t sure why it mattered but he went through the motions anyways. Drew stopped behind the couch. “Do you feel like going again?”

Kurtis nodded, in what he hoped looked like a casual manner, despite the fact that he was desperate to pick up where they left off. He followed Drew back to the bedroom. 

“Do you want Danny to keep fucking you?” Drew asked. Kurtis nodded again. They both turned to Danny. “Is that okay?”

Danny nominally shook his head. “Can you do it?” 

Kurtis felt a swift sharp stab of rejection and hoped it didn’t show on his face. 

“I can if Kurtis is okay with it.” Drew replied.

“That’s fine.” Kurtis said, shoving the pain of Danny’s rejection down with the guilt, and the shame, and everything else. He didn’t really care- he just wanted to get fucked. He just wanted to feel empty- or something other than the garbage he was currently feeling.

Kurtis went back to his spot on the edge of the bed and eagerly shed his boxers. Danny laid down next to him, while Drew fetched other necessities.

Kurtis wanted to ask Danny what he’d done wrong. Danny leaned down to kiss him, and Kurtis tried to implore with his body, to beg for answers so their tryst wouldn’t be interrupted again.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Danny said softly, when they parted. “Sometimes it’s when you guys are being really good to me- I start feeling guilty.” 

Kurtis smiled, and kissed Danny again. His lips felt warm and wonderful, and made him forget for a moment. When they breathed- Drew was there with lube. Drew was careful and gentle with his fingers, pressing one in, while Danny kissed him. Kurtis groaned into Danny's lips, and Drew’s finger went deeper, it was good- but it wasn’t enough.

He still felt worthless.

Kurtis turned his head, pulse heavy in his cock. “You can put it in.” 

Danny rolled onto his back, and laced his fingers with Kurtis. He kissed the back of Kurtis’ hand and watched as Kurtis’ spine arched off the bed with the drive of Drews’ hips.

Kurtis was intensely full, mind-numbingly full. The exact right kind of full. There was shooting pain, and his dick swollen on his stomach-but Danny was looking at him with so much affection that it didn’t matter. 

Drew pulled back and the burn forced the air from Kurtis’ lungs. It was a quick gasp. He rolled his head back, and tightened his jaw in preparation for Drew to push forward again. When he did- it forced a whine from Kurtis’ throat- which Kurtis followed with moan. It hurt but it felt good to hurt like this. Danny squeezed his hand- and Kurtis looked at him. 

Danny’s eyes were such a pretty blue, and his hand was moving over his cock. Kurtis’ throat made another involuntary sound as Drew fucked into him again. His breath caught in his lungs the pain was so intense he felt tears welling at the corner of his eyes. 

“Kurtis-” Drew’s hips stilled. Kurtis felt his eyebrows knit as he was assaulted with a thought of Adonis’ cock pushing down Danny’s throat. “Is this hurting you?”

Kurtis nodded, dazed with the pain. “Okay, that’s fine.” Drew said. “We can do something else.”

“No.” Kurtis’ thoughts were coming back- he felt his heart rate pitch to a panicked pace. “I want to keep going.”

“Kurtis-” Drew started, a look of concern clouding his features.

“Please Drew,” Kurtis pleaded. He rolled his hips, and felt a slight burn, not enough to ease the thoughts. “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt. Don’t stop.”

Drew sighed, and pulled his hips back. “I’m sorry.”

Kurtis felt another stinging jab of rejection. “It’s okay though.” Kurtis fisted his hands in the sheets, biting his tongue so that tears wouldn’t come. “Please Drew. I don’t want to stop.”

“I want to stop.” Drew said, firmly. He let Kurtis’ knees fall closed, and took a step back. He scrubbed his hands over his face. 

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” Danny said. 

“No-” Drew bit back. “You guys aren’t letting anyone down. It’s totally okay, we’re just going to stop and get cleaned up for now.” Danny kissed Kurtis’ hand and sat up. Drew leaned down to kiss his lips. “We can try again later. You’re both okay, everything is fine.”

Danny got out of bed, and grabbed his pajamas. He seemed perfectly fine with not continuing. Kurtis felt a swell of rage and hurt at that. “Kurtis, do you wanna shower?” He said.

Kurtis bit his lip so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret. Drew answered for him. “He’ll be right there.” 

Danny quirked his head for a second, then left the room.

Drew turned his attention to Kurtis- who was still on his back, beneath him. “I’m not going to hurt you as punishment for whatever wrong you think you’ve committed.” 

“I thought-” Kurtis opened his mouth to argue.

“I don’t like it- if it’s making you feel like shit.” Drew said sternly. “Go shower with Danny.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a really sweet comment on the last chapter. So this one goes out to all the commenters that make writing, and posting so fricking wonderful.

Danny was already in the shower when Kurtis arrived. The ghost of his nakedness against the frosted glass sent a weak pang of interest down to his pelvis. He leaned back against the drywall behind the door as a wave of annoyance washed over him. His heart beat hard- bruising him from the inside out. 

Each knock against his ribcage throbbed with rejection, and self loathing. He breathed through the uncomfortable sensation. He wanted to cum or cry, probably both- and he wasn’t going to get to do either tonight.

“Hey,” Danny greeted him, as he got in the shower. The hot water hit his hair and his back and some of the tension was washed down the drain. Danny’s hands found his waist, and his jaw and the taller man leaned in to kiss him.

The kiss drove Kurtis mad with regret at having spoiled the night's fun. Danny pulled back and Kurtis was struck with a thought. “Why didn’t you want to fuck me?”

Danny squirted shampoo into his hands and massaged it into Kurtis’ hair. Kurtis leaned his head back, and his mind emptied of some of the painful nonsense there for a moment. Danny finished his lather and Kurtis rinsed it out. 

“It felt like you wanted someone to hurt you…” 

“Was that why you checked out while you were fucking me?” Kurtis asked, with the shampoo gone, there was room for his thoughts to run off again. “Cause you were fine before,” He explained hurriedly, fearful that discussing it would somehow hurt Danny all over again. “I just got into it too fast with Drew.”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

A quiet fell between them. The water ran, and filled the bathroom up with steam. Kurtis’ thoughts were whirring again, pouring over him like a downpour he couldn’t escape from. Danny kissed him, and he thought of Adonis’ tongue pressing the drugs into his mouth. Kurtis pushed him back.

“I can’t get away from it.” He admitted.

_I wish I could get away from it._

Danny’s blue eyes fell on him, and Kurtis knew he’d heard what was left unsaid. Kurtis wanted to escape, like Danny could. Danny could just leave anytime. He wasn’t stuck thinking it and feeling it all the time. He regretted saying it though. It would make Danny feel guilty- then he would go away. Kurtis reached out to Danny before he disappeared. 

“I wish I could sit with it.” Danny said, instead. “I feel distant, out of sync with you and Drew. I don’t feel like myself.”

Kurtis’ heart ached out to his toes. He felt it too. Perhaps that was why he couldn’t be around Danny, maybe it was because he hadn’t felt much like Danny lately. He felt horrible for wishing for Danny’s dissociation. 

“You’re here. We still love you.” Kurtis said. He wrapped his arms around Danny’s slick wet torso, and hugged him tightly. He still felt like Danny. 

“If I think about it- I get scared, and angry-” Danny said. Kurtis pulled back to look Danny in the eye, to encourage Danny to stay with him. “I get disgusted with myself.”

“I was there.” Kurtis said quietly. For the first time- he deliberately thought about Danny on his knees before Adonis. “It’s okay to be scared and angry, but you are never disgusting.”

Danny swallowed hard, he was thinking about it too. He looked like he might be sick, then he leaned in and kissed Kurtis’ forehead. 

“Sucking you off was the best part.” He finally said. Kurtis snorted, then laughed aloud. “That was bad.” Danny said with a smile. “Don’t laugh.” Kurtis laughed even harder. 

“We have time-” Kurtis said, more to himself than to Danny. “We don’t have to be better right this second. We can just keep struggling and trying for however long it takes.”

Danny smiled, and shut off the hot water. “I will suck your dick again someday.”

“I hope so.” Kurtis said with a giggle. They got out of the shower and toweled off. Kurtis felt strangely better. He couldn’t tell if it was from the warm water, or from talking to Danny, but he wanted to get Drew in on the feeling-better train too. 

Their emergence, and improved spirits seemed to bring him a little relief, but he was still wearing the crease in his brow from when he’d sent Kurtis to the shower. Danny flopped onto the couch on Drew’s right, he grabbed a pillow, put it in Drew’s lap, then laid his head there. Drew’s hand immediately fell down to pet Danny’s hair.

“You look better.” Drew said, gazing down at Danny with enough tenderness that Kurtis felt it a little bit too. 

Kurtis sat down on Drew’s other side, but in the corner. Drew looked up from Danny to meet his eye. Kurtis opened his mouth as if to speak, and Drew just shook his head, as if he knew it was an apology on his tongue. 

“It’s okay,” Drew said. He let his palm fall open on the cushion by Kurtis’ knee. “You guys know that we don’t have to have sex, right? Like we can slow down and take our time.”

Kurtis didn’t take Drew’s hand. He felt scolded, like he’d misbehaved by wanting sex. He sucked in a deep breath, gathering the courage to admit where his fixation on it was coming from, but Danny spoke instead.

“I’ve been feeling distant, I keep dipping out, and I wanted to feel closer to you guys.” He admitted. 

“I’ve been having intrusive thoughts.” Kurtis said, “Sex gives me a break from them.”

“Both of you are getting therapy as soon as we get home.” Drew sighed. “And we can keep trying- just maybe not tonight.” Drew rolled, his head back as the words came out, like he didn’t have the energy to stop them. “I’m glad that you guys want to have sex, I really am, but it’s kind of stressful for me, and I think I just need to sit here with you for tonight.” 

Kurtis wasn’t disappointed this time, for some reason he felt a lot better. Just knowing what Danny and Drew wanted brought him a lot of relief. He laced his fingers, with Drew’s and leaned into his shoulder. Kurtis’ mind finally emptied, just listening to Danny breathe.

“Thanks for looking after us,” Kurtis murmured. Drew pressed his lips to the top of Kurtis’ head.

“Thank you for telling us stuff.” Drew said. “I know it isn’t easy.” Drew ran his fingers through Danny’s hair, and it looked like the motion was putting Danny to sleep. 

“I’m sorry.” Kurtis said, voice very low, meant only for Drew. Danny could probably hear it, but Kurtis halfways hoped he was too tired to listen. 

“It’s alright.” Drew said, “I know it’s probably complicated.”

Kurtis nodded. “I can’t tell where it comes from anymore. Like I just want it rough all the time, and I don’t know if it’s because it’s hot, or because I feel like I deserve to be hurt.”

Drew sighed. “I noticed it today, that you were off, but I’m scared I won’t be able to tell either.” Drew’s thumb brushed over Kurtis’ knuckle. “Please don’t let me do stuff that hurts you like that.” 

Kurtis felt his heart throb. “Okay,” It was an empty promise, he couldn’t separate the self-hatred masochism, from the fun kind. And that was just one of the issues…

There was guilt, and shame, and disgust with no words to describe them. Then on top of that- his skin crawled with fear that what had happened to them might somehow get out into the world. And he was painfully- inescapably worried about Danny. 

“I’m worried about hurting Danny.” Drew said, even quieter, like he was confessing a sin at church.

“Me too.” Kurtis admitted, as the sting of not noticing that Danny had checked out of their encounter sunk into the marrow of his bones. 

“He wasn’t able to say no to-” Drew cut himself off, and Kurtis’ already raw heart was scraped all over again. “What if he doesn’t say no to us, when he needs to?”

Kurtis hadn’t considered this, but now- it was all he could think about. He looked down at Danny’s peaceful face and was swarmed by guilt. Danny shifted in Drew’s lap.

Drew smiled, “Good.” He said quietly, brushing his thumb over Danny’s cheek. 

Kurtis was confused for a moment. Then he realized that Danny had tapped twice on Drew’s thigh, which meant Danny was at least somewhat awake. “What if you’re out of it though?”

Danny rolled his face into the pillow, and grumbled. “I don’t know.”

“We can watch for it.” Drew promised. 

“Just put me in time out until I’m better.” Danny said, “like today.”

Kurtis laughed. “No wonder, you’re stressed.” He said, shifting against Drew’s shoulder for a comfier position. “It’s like babysitting.”

“It’s still fun,” Drew said, “You guys are very fun but I get caught up in my head worrying, then it’s hard to relax.” 

“We need therapy.” Danny mumbled, and Drew and Kurtis laughed quietly, into the evening calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, oh man, this chapter, I forgot how angsty it was. Next up is the music video!
> 
> Authors aside: I was reading someone complaining about how annoying it is when angst comes from misunderstandings, and although I feel like I have done that in this series. I try not to draw it out, like you can have angst and open and honest communication. Why not both? As they say. Lol. Thank you again for comments. I love writing this series!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one puts me over 100k words of fanfiction this year! Planning to have this story finished and posted by the end of the year! So thank you so much to anyone who sticks with it till then.
> 
> Also this chapter has some big cuteness, in my opinion. Please enjoy.

The next day, they had the shoot for the music video. The set was an arcade turned bar in some basement somewhere. Danny, Drew and Kurtis might not have found it, had there not been a big white van parked outside the Donair shop it was hidden beneath. 

Down a narrow wooden staircase, set into a narrow alley, they trailed after one another like mice, down to the hole-in-the-ground bar. Danny led them inside, and they were assaulted by flashing-buzzing artificial light across the entire colour spectrum. The place had pinball machines, and fighting games with big colorful buttons, and it lit up all the excitement centers in Kurtis' brain at once.

“Hey,” Cody greeted them from near the bar. The room was strange, It was like a short fat corridor with a bar in the middle, then the machines made for the twisting-branching paths off of it. Kurtis felt a nervous fluttering as he smiled back at Cody, then trailed after Danny and Drew to the bar. 

“How do you guys find these places?” Danny asked, marveling at the little plastic Pac-man figures on the taps behind the bar. 

“Craigslist.” Cody dead-panned. Danny laughed, not believing it for a second. “I’m kidding. Noel knew somebody this time. They’re letting us shoot for cheap- it’s like free advertising. The guy even tried to let us take free drinks after the shoot. We told him we’d only do it if he let us pay for what we drank but help yourselves cause we kinda want to give this guy some money.”

Cody forced them to take some beers, then started telling them about the premise of the video and how the shoot was going to go. They saw some cameras set up and Noel waved at them from where he was bent over a laptop, but didn’t join the tour. 

The song was about taking a girl to an arcade to impress her with their gaming skills, and accidentally impressing the guys at the arcade instead. The punchline was that they got the high score and a bunch of dudes to take home, but no girl. 

More crew members showed up. Someone came and fussed with Kurtis’ hair. Danny got to helping some guy with framing the lights for a certain shot and then at some point cameras just started rolling.

The beer, the company, and the strange setting kept Kurtis’ mind clear. He was focused, and laughing with the guys, and here and there he got to play video games. He had so much fun that he was actually disappointed when they wrapped.

“Don’t go yet, let’s have a beer and catch up.” Cody said, as few crewmen started taking down lights and folding up tripods. “We never actually see you guys.”

Someone handed Kurtis a drink, and he smiled as the cold glass touched his hand. Drew had claimed a stool, Danny and Kurtis leaned against the flat bartop, and Cody and Noel were behind the bar, pulling drinks from a fridge and handing them to some of the Crew. 

“Can’t wait to see it come together.” Drew remarked, as he took a sip from his. Danny’s cheeks were flushed from working and laughing. Kurtis shouldered Danny’s arm, playfully, and Danny smiled down at him.

Kurtis caught Cody raising an eyebrow at where their shoulders touched, as if to say: _looks like you two made up_. Kurtis just laughed a little and took a sip of beer, glad Cody didn’t say it aloud.

“You guys see the house burnt down?” Noel stated. Kurtis coughed- half choking on the beer in his throat. “You didn’t hear that?” Noel said incredulously, mistaking Kurtis’ shock as surprise. He turned to Cody. “I thought you would have mentioned it on your dinner date.”

Luckily Kurtis was still choking- so he didn’t have to worry about blushing at the use of the word date to describe the time he spent with Cody.

Danny rubbed his back absentmindedly, Kurtis glanced up at Danny and realized that Danny wasn’t doing it for his benefit. He was just on the verge of checking out. 

“Which is convenient for us because now that asshat Adonis is dropping the suit.” Cody said. Kurtis felt his own heart pitch at the name, and worried for the effect it might have on Danny. The hand on his back fell away, and he stole a glance up at Danny's eyes. They were empty. Kurtis felt a pang of hurt- it was both empathy for Danny and discomfort for himself.

“He’s actually dropping it?” Drew said, raising his eyebrows. Kurtis was sure they’d told him that Adonis was going to, but it also made sense that Drew didn’t believe it. 

“Yeah, now he thinks our video is a beautiful tribute to the house.” 

“What the fuck.” Drew murmured, shaking his head.

“I think he was just pissed ‘cause of the ex-girlfriend's sexual assault charges.” Cody said. Kurtis drank more beer, he felt shivery and scared. Stressed that Cody and Noel might somehow find out about what had happened.

“Can we talk about something else?” Drew asked, casually as he could. “That guy pisses me off.” 

“Yeah, let’s play some fucking games.” Noel said, allowing the subject to slip past them.

Kurtis reached down to carefully squeeze Danny’s hand, he didn’t respond, and Kurtis panicked. If Danny didn’t hurry up and start acting normal it was going to lead to awkward questions. 

Drew smacked his bottle down on the counter. Danny’s shoulders stiffened as he startled, and the sound jolted him from the emptiness. 

“None of you can beat me at Frogger.” Cody stated confidently. 

“Oh I definitely can.” Noel challenged him, as they strode past Kurtis. 

“My money’s on Noel.” Kurtis said, as Cody glanced over his shoulder to see if Danny and Drew were following. Then Kurtis’ words registered and he turned to throw him a look of offense.

He laughed, and Kurtis noticed Danny and Drew trail behind them. Danny looked a bit better, and Kurtis felt the tension unwinding from his spine. He was able to laugh more genuinely at Cody making Noel hold his beer so he could show off his skills.

Noel chirped most every decision Cody made in his game. He got on his case about getting too close to the edge and about almost missing his hops, until Cody finally succumbed to the pressure and hopped into oncoming traffic. While they bickered and laughed and traded places at the controls. Kurtis overheard Danny laughing, as Drew soundly beat him in an old school fighting game. Kurtis drank more of his beer and let himself relax further into the banter. 

“Kurtis will chug the rest of his drink if you can beat my highscore.” Cody stated confidently. 

“What?” Kurtis said incredulously. “You should have to chug yours if he beats you.”

Cody laughed. “You said your money was on Noel.” 

The lights flashed and Noel let out a triumphant “Ha!” as his score crept up past Cody’s. 

“Fuck!” Cody shouted. “Drink.” 

Kurtis didn’t know why but he slammed back his beer with Cody. Cody took his empty bottle, then he and Noel wandered over to see who was winning in Danny and Drew’s game. 

Danny was down to a sliver of health, while Drew seemed to have an entire bar full of green. Danny was intently focused on not dying. 

It also seemed like he might only know how to jump and block. Danny discovered that by jumping over and over, at a certain spot, Drew’s moves couldn’t catch his hitbox, and he laughed maniacally from where he was cornered.

“Danny,” Drew scolded. “What do you hope to accomplish with this?” 

Danny’s avatar came down behind Drew’s, landed one punch, then he went back to constant hopping. Drew didn’t react quickly enough to catch him, but the hit had done a little damage. Danny tried it again, and Drew’s character landed a kick that knocked him out. 

They both laughed, as the screen darkened. Then Noel challenged Drew to a game. 

“Are there any games you’re good at?” Kurtis asked, glad that Danny seemed to be having a good time again. 

“I used to be okay at the shooters,” Danny said. Kurtis spotted one and eagerly led Danny over to it.

Danny placed his beer on top of the machine, and picked up the shotgun-style hunk of plastic. Cody appeared then, with a fresh beer for Kurtis. Kurtis accepted it, and Cody fed some tokens into the machine. 

“I’ll watch.” Kurtis offered, enjoying the way Danny’s eyes lit up with eagerness. He wanted to bask in it a little longer. Cody shrugged and picked up the other gun. An alien jumped in from the top of the screen, and with a couple of quick cracks they put it down and started the game. 

Kurtis, sipped his beer and spent more time watching the players than the game. The sleeve of Danny’s t-shirt bunched up around his bicep when he held the shotgun. It was impossible not to take some notice of it. And after each round, Cody did this thing where he pushed his hair back with his fingers. The beer and the visuals were warming Kurtis’ blood. 

“You ready to play the winner?” Cody asked Kurtis, as he shot offscreen to reload. Kurtis laughed.

“You sound confident.” Danny quipped back.

“Nah, that’s just how I sound.” Cody's health was low, he was running out of bullets and their helicopter was crash-landing into a veritable swarm of aliens. “I’m fucked.”

The screen went white. Then, when the scene opened again, aliens were tearing Cody’s guy apart. Danny lasted a little longer, but eventually he too ran out of ammunition. 

“You are good.” Kurtis commented, hoping Danny didn’t notice that his proficiency and/or arms had gotten Kurtis halfways hard. 

Kurtis took Cody’s place and lifted the gun up to his shoulder. Cody threw a couple more token in, and Kurtis missed wildly on the very first alien. “Here, it’s a bit weird at first.” Kurtis felt Cody press up behind him, then his hands came out to shift Kurtis’ grip on the greasy barrel. 

Cody’s body was crazy close. Kurtis’ pulse was humming like the neon lights. Then Cody’s breath was near his ear. “Yeah, just like that.” 

Kurtis fired a solid headshot, saving Danny from an alien that was coming right for him. Danny seemed distracted. 

“Awesome.” Cody remarked, and stepped back to watch them play. Danny took out three more aliens, one bullet each. From that point Kurtis hyper focused on the game in hopes it would help calm down his boner. He kept up with Danny for the first little while, then started getting low on health, and burning through his bullets. He lost before they even made it in the helicopter.

Kurtis traded the shotgun for his drink, and Cody slapped a hand on his back for doing as well as he had. 

“You looked so serious, when you were playing.” Cody said. “It was cute, like a kid.” Kurtis drank his beer and hoped the flush from the alcohol would hide any redness at being called cute. Danny’s character was devoured by aliens, at that moment, and he set the gun down next to Kurtis’. 

Danny downed the rest of his drink, and handed the empty to Cody. “Loser grabs me a fresh drink.” He stated.

Cody laughed. “Kurtis lost to you too.” 

“Yeah, but he shows potential.” Danny explained. “I’m going to teach him the ways.” Cody shook his head and wandered off to fetch Danny’s drink. Kurtis turned on Danny and noticed his eyes were alive with a fierceness.

“Drew wasn’t kidding.” Danny remarked with a smile, and shifted so Kurtis could take his position. Kurtis picked up the gun.

“Do you really think I have potential?” Kurtis asked, as Danny shadowed him. Danny’s touch started light, almost like he was actually trying to show Kurtis how to shoot. Then Danny’s breath was at his ear.

“No.” Danny said with a giggle. “I just want him to see that you’re mine.” 

Kurtis swallowed and all the blood went straight down to his dick. Danny’s grip tightened over his hands. If it weren’t for Danny’s arms holding him in place he might have melted into the heat drizzling down his spine to where Danny's hips pressed into him.

Danny started the game, and made certain that Kurtis felt every shot in his pelvis. Danny’s laughter, his closeness, his low breath right in Kurtis’ ear- was intoxicating. Kurtis was drunk on the attention. Or maybe it was the beer? Yeah, it had to be the beer.

Cody returned with a drink for Danny, forcing him to stop ‘tutoring’ Kurtis. Once the heat of Danny’s body was gone, Kurtis should have been able to focus on the game, but Danny’s laughter was distracting. As was the insistent throbbing below his belt. Kurtis was devoured by aliens, and Cody mocked Danny for ever thinking that Kurtis had potential.

Cody threw an arm around Kurtis’ shoulders and Danny eyes held something so vibrantly possessive in them, that Kurtis was assaulted by a fantasy where Danny bent him over a pinball machine and fucked him right there in the arcade. 

And it was with that thought in the back of his mind, that he downed the dregs of his drink, and escaped to hang out with Drew at the bar.

Kurtis passed Noel on his way over. He heard Noel challenge Danny to a game, and he was struck by another shiver just from Danny’s excited response. Drew looked like he was on the verge of laughing, and Kurtis realized he must’ve been watching for a while.

“You saw that?” Kurtis said, leaning into the bar next to Drew. He suddenly recalled the harsh words Drew had directed at him over Cody’s flirtations, and he worried for a moment that he might get an earful.

Drew laughed. “Yep.”

“Are you angry?” Kurtis didn’t sense anger, the only thing he could sense was amusement, but he asked anyways, just to be sure.

“Hm?” Drew asked, he shook his head. “No. I- I don’t know if I was ever really angry about that. I mean- maybe I was. I don’t know.” 

“You were mad that I wasn’t around. I get it.” 

“I think there was jealousy, but not at you.” 

Kurtis took a drink. “Of Danny with-?” Kurtis cut himself off before the name.

“I know it’s stupid.” Drew said. “It’s been bugging me and I feel like I can’t admit it.”

Kurtis didn’t speak. Drew felt jealous of Adonis. He felt like he almost couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Wasn’t jealousy when you thought that the person you loved would leave you for someone else?

“I think it’s leftover from the party.” Drew went on, drinking from his beer and staring straight ahead at where Danny was shooting and laughing with Cody and Noel. “Or maybe it’s because Danny goes to him. Because he has power over him or something.” 

“Or you’re just scared of losing him?” Kurtis prompted. Drew looked over at him with surprise, and Kurtis knew it was because he’d said the very thing Drew had been thinking. He felt a surge of affection for Drew, the kind you could only feel for someone who loved the same person that you did. 

“So,” Drew started, circling back to their previous topic, “if you wanted to, you know, do something with Cody…”

Kurtis shook his head. Danny’s game had ended, and he was walking back to them now. He was smiling, rosy-cheeked, eyes alight with barely contained humor. Kurtis wouldn’t admit it, but he was school-girl smitten. Cody was attractive, and the flirting was fun, but it was nothing compared to the heart-pounding effect that Danny had. 

Cody was laughing so hard he was almost in tears, at something Noel said to him, and Kurtis threw a knowing smile at Drew. 

“I’m good.”

“What’re you guys talking about?” Danny asked as he leaned forward into the bar- just a little tipsy.

Drew smiled. “I was just telling Kurtis that he should flirt back, see just how far Cody would go to get in his pants.”

“What?” Danny turned on him, shocked and upset. “He should not do that.”

Kurtis giggled, and his whole chest was filled up with happy bubbly warmth. He should really have assured Danny that he wasn’t going to do anything with Cody, but he was secretly adoring Danny’s possessiveness. 

Danny turned on Kurtis, both his hands gripped Kurtis’ upper arms. “Don’t flirt back. He will fall in love with you.”

Danny delivered the warning with such intense sincerity that Kurtis desperately wanted to kiss away his concern. It was very difficult to resist, when Danny’s breath was close, and he was radiating heat and comfort like an electric blanket. 

“I won’t.” Kurtis promised quietly. He wanted to tell him he loved him, but there was a crew guy, drifting a little too close who might overhear. Danny tipped back the rest of his drink, and ducked back behind the bar to use the washroom.

“You look pleased,” Kurtis said, turning back to Drew, flustered from the interaction. “You just found something new you can tease Danny with?” 

Drew laughed. “Looks like you’re enjoying Danny’s jealousy more than I am.”

Kurtis couldn’t help but smile to himself. His mind started wandering to what he wanted to do with Danny and Drew once they got back to their rented room. Drew caught his eye and smirked, like he knew exactly what Kurtis was thinking about. 

“He’s in a fun mood.” Kurtis commented. 

Drew took a sip from his beer bottle. “Almost like nothing happened.”

“Almost.” Kurtis’ chest ached. “As long as nobody mentions-” Kurtis deliberately avoided the name. “Or any bad stuff, I think we could have fun tonight.” 

“I could go my whole life without another mention of-” Drew cut himself off, as the door jingled, announcing a new arrival. His beer slammed down, startling Kurtis. Drew’s eyes fixed on the door, and Kurtis caught a slew of emotions rolling off the tight fist with which Drew held his beer.

“Adonis.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More drama?
> 
> Yes, more drama.

“Don’t turn around.” Drew commanded, his voice deadly serious. “Go find Danny, and keep him away from here.”

If it had been anyone else, Kurtis would have turned around immediately. If it hadn’t been Drew, if he hadn’t used that calm direct tone that Kurtis had heard a hundred times, he'd probably be freaking out.

Instead his feet were moving, and he was following the order exactly as instructed. He felt almost floaty with panic that should have already set in, but wasn’t for some reason. He opened the door to the bathroom and was assaulted by fluorescent light, much brighter than that which filled the bar. Danny had just finished washing his hands. Kurtis’ heart pounded so hard it felt like the earth was vibrating under his feet.

Danny went to dry his hands, and quirked his head at Kurtis as he tossed the paper towel. Kurtis shifted to block Danny from reaching the door.

“Kurtis, what’re you doing?”

“He’s here.” The back of Kurtis’ fist came to cover his mouth. He didn’t mean to say that, he should have lied, but his stupid terrified brain was running on adrenalin. 

“Who’s-” Danny started, then seemed to notice Kurtis for the first time. He scented the fear, and Kurtis watched as his whole demeanor shift into shock, and disbelief. “No. How? He can’t-”

The liveliness was draining from Danny’s eyes. He was receding like the tide before a rogue wave. Then he surfaced, sucking in a breath like he’d just come up for air. “Drew-”

Danny was close now. Close enough that Kurtis’ hands were on the flat planes of his chest. Close enough to feel Danny’s heart fluttering hard against his palms. “Drew wants us to stay here. We have to stay here.”

“No, we can’t.” Danny was angry and that was the only thing anchoring him to this plane. His hands came up to Kurtis’ arms, to shift him away from the door, and this time, Kurtis dug his heels in. He grabbed Danny’s shirt and managed to stay between him and the door. “Kurtis move.”

Danny’s words were failing, he flickered before Kurtis’ eyes. For a moment it looked like he would cry, then the next second he was blind. Kurtis held tight to Danny’s t-shirt with his own shaking hands and tried desperately to explain. “Drew’s not like you. He can-”

“He can what?” Danny looked down at Kurtis with fresh fury, enough anger to tether him to the moment. “He can talk to him without falling to his fucking knees.”

Danny, brought his fist to his mouth, he looked like he was going to be sick. Then his hand struck out, aiming for the door. It skipped past the handle, scraping his knuckles on the metal lever. 

“Fuck.” Danny cursed but not angrily. It wasn’t the sound of someone that had just encountered something painful. It was soft, disoriented, the sound one might make if they’d lost track of their hand. He raised the limb to examine it, blood burbled and spilled from a jagged cut across his knuckles.

Kurtis saw the blood, and his eyes blurred with tears. His chest was wrung raw with stress, he was losing his grip on it. The violent anxiety within him was ripping and clawing its way to the surface, it was going to kill him, but he had to make sure Danny stayed away.

He had to do that much before it ate him alive. 

Danny fell forwards into the door, trapping Kurtis against it. He had his forearm up against it and his forehead pressed into the bone. The bloodied hand hung limp at his side.

“Danny, your hand.” Kurtis tried to grab the limb, and Danny slammed it next to Kurtis’ head. Kurtis felt wetness touch his cheek, and through the press of Danny’s body he felt great trembling breaths.

“It’s not real, it’s not there.” Danny said, he almost sounded angry but the tone was off. It was distant, and faded, Kurtis had lost him. 

“Danny, please.” Kurtis struggled against Danny’s body, which had him pinned to the door. Kurtis pushed and wriggled, against Danny’s weight. He didn’t want to hurt Danny, but the handle digging into his hip was bruising. Kurtis started to panic, as the pain mixed with the restraint to drive his terror even higher than it already was. “You have to let me up. You’re hurting me.” 

Kurtis took a couple quick breaths, quicker than the others, crossed an arm against Danny’s chest and shoved him off.

Danny gasped, and caught himself against the wall next to the door. He didn’t even look at Kurtis, his hand trailed down the tile, as his knees crumpled, and he slowly descended to the floor, like the feeling in his legs was pouring out of them. 

“Danny-” Kurtis stepped closer, feeling horrible for shoving him off. Danny looked up at him, and Kurtis recognized violent terror a moment too late. 

“No!” Danny struck out with his foot for Kurtis’ shins. Kurtis crashed to the floor, his palms scrapping the dirty tile floor. The shock of the fall to his knees, sent shooting pain and anger mixed to a slurry, up to his head. 

Then a half second later, Kurtis realized that it was Danny’s fear that lashed out at him. Standing over him while Danny was on his knees, Danny must have thought Kurtis was going to- He couldn’t even finish the thought. It gutted him, like his insides were burning and they’d spill up through his throat for how horrible he was. It was guilt but more potent and violent than it had ever been. 

Someone came in the door. Kurtis looked, Danny didn’t. Cody entered at the worst possible moment. “What the hell?” 

Cody couldn’t know. He’d be disgusted. He was looking down at them, with a look that was halfways between concern and amusement. The tiles blurred. Cody was going to find out. He was going to tell everyone, Kurtis was going to be outed, everything was going to be ruined. Through the haze of the tumbling suffocating thoughts, his heart started hurting as it finally beat itself too hard. Kurtis couldn’t catch a breath. He couldn’t breathe at all.

“Kurtis?” Cody came to kneel at his side. Kurtis was going to die, he was certain of it. His lungs burned for air, and he was never going to be able to catch enough to live. He snuffled, and the tears and snot made it even harder to breathe. “Are you okay?”

Kurtis shook his head, coughing and choking on sobs. He was going to faint, he was going to pass out, and Adonis was going to come and bad things were going to happen. Then he was going to die. 

“Hey, hey.” Cody’s voice was near his head. He was pushing Kurtis up off his hands and knees, to sit back. “Come on, bud. I’m going to help you breathe.”

Kurtis let Cody push him back, tears still leaked down his cheeks, as he struggled and failed to remember how to use his lungs. “Sh, dude, one thing at a time. Look at me.” Kurtis met Cody’s dark eyes. “In.” Cody commanded. His chest rose, with a breath, and Kurtis studied it like that might give him more air. “Come on, breathe in.” 

Kurtis sucked in a quick breath. “Out.” Kurtis tried to let it out slow like Cody did, but he needed another ‘in’ well before Cody finished. They kept this up until Kurtis could do it without following along to Cody’s example.

“I’m having a heart attack.” Kurtis finally managed to say. The tears were slowing but he was still dying, and he thought Cody should know.

“You’re having a panic attack.” Cody corrected.

Kurtis’ brows furrowed, and he brought a hand to his aching chest. “But it hurts.”

“I know, but it’s going to be okay.” Cody helped Kurtis up off the dirty bathroom floor. Kurtis got his shaky legs up and under him. “Did you and Danny fight?”

“No.” Kurtis stuttered against ragged breaths. “It’s not like that.”

Kurtis looked up, searching for Danny. “Where-?” Kurtis’ heart shot off again. 

Danny was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually write my stories from one single POV, for the entire thing. At least I try really hard to- but I just could not let drama like this pass us by so please excuse this brief Drew POV, in our Kurtis story.

In the arcade games, the bad guy comes on screen, and you killed him. Or at the very least, you beat him so badly that he couldn’t keep doing horrible evil things. Real life wasn’t like that. No, Drew just had to sit and watch as this real life asshole sauntered over and no one killed him. 

Social convention, and the threat of lawsuits or assault charges bound him to his seat. It left him considering just how much his career was worth. In that moment, he didn’t really want to be a Youtuber as badly as he wanted to slam his fist into Adonis’ straight edged jawline. 

Drew bit down against his tongue, it hardly made a dent in the pounding headache his rage was inducing, but it sent his mind running. Running through consequences and considerations for a hundred different outcomes. He still hadn’t decided if the generalized anxiety was a blessing or a curse. It was a picture show of lawsuits and inconvenience for everyone he knew and loved, so that was maybe useful as a preventative to violence. But it was also showing Danny on his knees before Adonis, and he really didn’t need that in his head right now.

“Hey,” Adonis lifted a hand to Noel, who’d looked up from his game against one of the camera guys. His other hand held some papers, he shifted his focus to Drew, and smiled genially.

Drew was burning alive with anger, he brought the drink to his lips, as if the beer might snuff it out. The alcohol did what it did to all fires, made it spark and flare hotter than ever. Drew could have laughed, the violent rage was so strange and foreign, he really had no idea what he was going to do with it.

Adonis came to stand where Kurtis had previously stood by the bar, while he waited for Noel to finish up his game. 

Drew didn’t acknowledge him, he didn’t trust himself to speak. He didn’t even really trust himself with the beer bottle in his hand, so he peeled his white knuckles off it, then let his fist tighten up again, next to the drink.

“Is he here?” Adonis asked, swiveling his head, to look around for the exact person Drew didn’t want him to find. 

Drew inhaled slowly while his vision went white. He grabbed the beer bottle and took a sip. It was meant to distract him. It failed miserably. But then Noel was there, standing on Adonis’ other side. 

“Hey man, really sorry to hear about the house.” Noel shook his hand, and Adonis sighed as if the memory was somehow painful. 

“I’m sorry for the whole misunderstanding with the trespassing suit.” Adonis replied. “These are for you.” He handed a packet of papers to Noel. “Officially dropped.”

Noel took it, and flicked through the first couple pages. “Thanks for bringing them by. We were just wrapping up here.” 

Drew took another drink, hoping that Noel’s implication that they were finished might encourage Adonis to get the fuck out. Noel, wandered over to a pile of equipment bags to deposit the papers. Out of earshot just long enough for Adonis to lean over to Drew.

“You seem salty.” He said, voice low so that only Drew could hear it. “He came because he wanted it.” 

Drew felt his throat constrict, Adonis was goading him into lashing out. Then what, he was going to use more lawsuits to corner Danny into sexual favours. What the fuck kind of psychotic narcissist was this guy?

Drew shifted out of his seat, to put the chair between himself and Adonis. He abandoned his drink, desperately trying to control his fury. 

“Danny knew exactly what was going to happen,” Adonis said, taking a swig from Drew’s abandoned drink, delighting in the effect his words were having on Drew. “And he came anyway.” 

Drew’s fist tightened on the chair, it ached to be thrown into Adonis cheek. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t stop the heart pounding rage.

He was going to kill him.

“Drew.” It was Danny. Danny, striding over to them, distracting Drew long enough that he didn’t lunge for Adonis.

Danny planted himself between them, in the middle of the stand off. Drew’s temper was still searing his throat, and suffocating his rational thoughts, but Danny was there and Drew couldn’t move. Drew’s violent, jealous anguish wanted to rip Danny back and away from the monster, but somehow he didn’t. The part of him that was in love with Danny was on fire, it threatened to consume him, but Drew held his ground.

That tender thing in the cage of his chest, the part of him that adored Danny, it anchored him in place, and it reached out one hand, to touch Danny’s spine. 

And with Drew’s hand holding him up, he spoke. “You’re not welcome here.” The words were hard, and precise. “Leave.”

Danny’s voice was level, there was no tremor, he was wholly empty. Hollow yet firm. Like he was shooing a cat out the door rather than facing down the man who’d assaulted him. Yet Adonis’ mood was souring. It was permeating the air like the scent of old milk.

Danny winded him, not with a punch to his stomach, but with his lack of affect. For a villian that fed on fear and rage, he was starved by Danny’s lifelessness.

Noel returned, having assessed the situation, he now had his shoulders back, ready. “We’re packing up, you have my lawyer's info if you have any further questions.” Noel’s words were clipped, polite, dismissive.

Adonis’ face turned, as his welcome was flatly rescinded. He looked angry for a split second, before he smoothed his features, preparing to make one last stand.

“Do they know?” He lowered his voice to threat, aimed directly at Danny. “Do they know what you’d do for a fucking video?” The words were taunting, designed to scare him. “I bet they do, I bet a cock-sucking whore like you-”

“It’s pretty fucking weird that you’re not leaving.” Danny interrupted him. 

“Awkward.” Cody sang out, emerging from the bathroom, with Kurtis in tow. Danny was unaffected by Cody’s interruption, he didn’t betray a hint of terror, but the addition of two more to the ‘get the fuck out committee’ cut into Adonis’ confidence. “Did you really drug and rape those girls?” Cody went on, coming to stand next to Noel. “Cause that’s pretty fucked up, and you should maybe get the fuck out of here before we have to call the cops.”

Adonis looked around, anxious and outnumbered. “I-” 

“Yo- you don’t need to talk.” Noel said, his tone was easy, but the words hit hard. “Just walk out the fuckin' door, man.”

Adonis finally turned, and fled. The door jangled as it swung shut behind him, and the room sighed. 

“Danny, what the fuck-” Drew’s concern for Danny overcame him, and he spun Danny around, about to chew him out for coming anywhere near Adonis.

“Drew, his hand.” Kurtis said, shifting past Cody, to where Drew and Danny stood by the bar. Drew glanced down and noticed then, the drops of blood on the floor by Danny’s shoe.

“Jesus, Danny.” Drew exclaimed. It wasn’t a ton of blood, just enough to be concerning. He lowered his voice. “Can you feel anything right now?”

Danny swallowed. “I’m not even here.”

“Ha-” Drew snorted. “Well, remind me to tell you about this when you get back. Can I see your hand?”

“It’s not there.” Danny said, not moving his arm. Drew was struck with a rough pang of concern. He hoped Danny’s voice was low enough that Cody and Noel wouldn’t catch just how lost Danny was. “Do we have a first aid kit?”

Kurtis snagged a clean white bar cloth, and brought a finger to his lips as if to say ‘don’t tell anyone I’m taking this’. He handed it to Drew, who wrapped it around Danny’s knuckles, and closed Danny’s fist over the ends.

“What happened?” 

Cody directed the query at Danny but it was Kurtis who answered. “His hand slipped and he cut it on the door handle.”

“And you didn’t even notice, damn dude.”

Danny didn’t respond, his eyes stayed on his hand as if he was trying to determine if it was even there. 

“Well, we should go wrap up Danny’s hand.” Drew said, using the injury as an excuse to escape. Drew gathered up a jacket, thrown over a chair, making like they were going to leave. 

Kurtis turned to Cody and Noel. He looked like he wanted to speak but had forgotten how.

“It was good to see you guys.” Noel said, raising a hand to their departure.

“Yeah, take care.” Cody said, sincerely. 

Drew was astonished they didn’t jump down their throats with questions, astonished and relieved. Kurtis turned at the door, finally mustering the courage to speak. 

“Thank you.” His voice shook, but Cody and Noel beamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm, also, just uh- things get a little worse before they get better. 
> 
> I'm sorry. This is just the way of things. But I swear they will get better. Pinky promise.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is early because I updated tags, and was like what if someone noticed an update but without a chapter. So here is a chapter too. Lol.
> 
> We’re back to Kurtis. I love writing as Drew though. I try not to jump heads too much for the sake of story progression but I kind of regret not doing a chapter to show Drew and Danny in the immediate aftermath… it probably would have just been Drew feeling useless and angry while Danny dissociates, but let me know in the comments if you want me to maybe add it in.

Drew’s rage was tempered by Danny’s injury. It was still there, but turned down to a low simmer. Kurtis could still feel it, swirling around him like smoke. 

Kurtis coughed, not from the toxic anger, but from the rawness in his lungs. He followed Drew up the stairs from the bar, into the early afternoon sun, and looked around a little nervously, in case Adonis was still lurking in the alley's shadows. His chest felt like it’d been torn up by the debris of a shotgun shell. The panic attack was still fresh in his mind. His heart threatened to pick up its freight train pace again as he searched their surroundings for the danger. 

Drew led them back to their rental car, and climbed into the driver's seat. He dipped his head against the cool leather of the steering wheel, and let out a long slow breath.

“Kurtis?” Drew inhaled and exhaled again, while Kurtis watched curiously from the backseat. “You wouldn’t be up for driving, would you?”

Kurtis swallowed. Was Drew that angry? Angry enough that he didn’t trust himself to drive them back to their condo? Kurtis’ hand came up to his chest, as if to tell his heart to calm down enough that he could handle a vehicle.

“Nevermind,” Drew said, as he turned the keys in the ignition. “I’ll be fine, it’s not far.” 

“I can…” Kurtis said, with next to no confidence. Driving in LA was stressful at the best of times. Coming from Florida, Drew was probably better equipped to handle the intensity of Californian drivers, than Kurtis would ever be. Danny would be even better, but he was still looking at the cloth over his knuckles like it was a space alien.

“It’s okay,” Drew said, “Can you just keep an eye on Danny?”

Kurtis nodded, and Drew pulled out of their parking spot. “I’m sorry,” He apologized softly, meeting Drew’s eye briefly in the rearview mirror. “I just had a panic attack.”

“Oh shit.” Drew said, brows furrowing. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just really tired.” Kurtis replied. His whole body felt like it had been wrung like a towel. “I tried to keep him away, but Danny left while I was-” Kurtis recalled coughing and gasping, on his hands and knees, on the dirty tile of the bathroom floor. “While I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay,” Drew said. “I probably would have done something that I’d’ve regretted, if he hadn’t stepped in.”

“He was worried about you.” Kurtis said, smiling to himself. “Guess he isn’t just protective of me.”

Drew exhaled, and a lot of the anger dissipated with the slow release of the breath. “Dumbass.” Drew muttered, lovingly, as he turned off their side street and got into a merge lane. “So what really happened to his hand? You guys didn’t fight, did you?”

Kurtis shook his head. “No,” He huffed a short breathy laugh. “Do you really think Danny could hit me? He can’t even give me a hickey.”

Drew laughed. Kurtis’ stomach ached. His knees throbbed from where he’d hit the tile, after Danny kicked out his shin. If Danny’s kick didn’t bruise, they surely would. And Kurtis couldn’t bring himself to admit any of it to Drew. 

“He started dissociating, and really did cut it on the metal handle.” Kurtis went on. “He wasn’t… there. Then Cody walked in.”

“Did you...?” 

“Tell him? No. He saw me freaking out, and just helped me breathe.” Kurtis’ next breath came easier as he remembered Cody kneeling at his side. “He didn’t really ask any questions, just helped.”

“Noel too.” Drew said. “When Danny told Adonis to fuck off, Noel just backed him up no questions asked.” 

“They’re really good.” Kurtis said. “I feel like we should buy them a fruit basket or something.” 

Drew smiled weakly, “Danny got the suit dropped on their video. That should be enough.”

Kurtis tried to smile, but his chest just burned. The suit was dropped but at what cost? 

Kurtis’ thoughts drifted to Danny, and what he could have been thinking when he’d gone to negotiate. Would Kurtis have done the same in Danny’s position? There were so many things Danny didn’t know when he went. He probably thought he was protecting Drew, protecting their friends from this person. This person that was strangely obsessed with him. 

Kurtis made a mental note to ask Danny about that. Kurtis couldn’t recall Adonis ever even referring to himself or Drew by name, but he seemed deeply interested in Danny for some inexplicable reason. Maybe it wasn’t worth asking about, and risking sending Danny into another plane of existence.

Kurtis missed the old Danny. He hated the wavelength of guilt stretched taut between them like the wire of an electric fence. The boundary that shocked and stung them every time they came too close to it. 

_It wasn’t worth it._

Danny was a million miles away, in another universe. Someone honked their horn, at a reckless lane change from Drew. That wasn’t Drew, and Kurtis’ eyes were welling up again. 

Danny was a hollow shell, Kurtis was a fractured glass pitcher, and Drew was burning alive. One single person had done that.

Kurtis’ eyes burned, as tears leaked from the cracks in the glass.

Drew parked the car in the lot adjacent to their rented suite. Kurtis hadn’t even noticed, he was so deep in thought. As Drew looked over the seat to reverse, and discovered Kurtis crying, his face fell, like a handyman opening up a broken wristwatch to find that the pieces inside were mangled and broken beyond repair.

Drew turned the car off and it was quiet for a moment. 

They won, Adonis would go to jail. Everything was supposed to have worked out. Kurtis wiped snot away on his sleeve. So why was everything still so horrible?

“Is your flight tomorrow?”

Drew’s brows furrowed in the mirror. “Yeah, it is.” 

Without the hum of the engine, the only sound in the car were Kurtis’ sobs.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what? Tonight feels like a night for postin'

Kurtis had blown his nose, and scrubbed his eyes so hard, that he didn’t even look like himself. Mirror Kurtis looked so pathetic that the real Kurtis couldn’t even meet his eye. He could hear Drew struggling to wrap Danny’s hand in the other room. His quiet curses echoed down the hall.

He hadn’t had the courage to ask Drew what they were going to do about Danny. He knew what Drew’s solution would be. Put Kurtis in his arms until he came back. Drew might not even lay with them. He was too furious, he’d want to cool off on his own.

Kurtis couldn’t do it though. Everything hurt, he didn’t want to cry anymore. The guilt was already a low ache in his stomach. His mind a black cloud of ‘Danny thought you were going to rape him’ and other such horrid things. Which made the thought of snuggling up to Danny’s chest unbearable.

He had to get away. Kurtis snuck out of the bathroom, and sat down very quietly on the foyer step to tug his shoes on. He snagged his wallet and a jacket thrown over a chair, and crept over the tile, towards the door. Mind already fixated on the bar.

“Kurtis?”

Kurtis’ shoulders came up at Drew’s voice. He briefly entertained the thought of making a break for it.

“I can’t.” Kurtis said. The urge to cry climbed up his throat and into his sinuses. He reached for the door, and Drew was already there with a hand on it.

“Are you trying to make things harder for me?” Drew’s voice clipped with barely contained anger. “Because that’s what it fucking feels like right now.”

“No.” Kurtis replied, then he looked up at Drew. His palm was pressed flush with the door, waves of fury radiated off of him. Kurtis’ throat swelled. “Drew, I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Drew asked, his voice low and terse. “Use your words, what can’t you do?”

“It hurts.” Kurtis clenched his stomach. Being around Danny, being around Drew, being stuck in his head with his thoughts, it was painful. 

“What hurts?” Drew raised his volume just a little bit. “How many times do I have to- I can’t read your mind, you have to fucking tell me.”

Kurtis’ breath hitched, Drew was starting to scare him. His mind said cruel things. It said that Drew hated him. It said he didn’t want Kurtis around. Danny wasn’t going to come back. They were going to be broken and angry and lost forever. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Then ask for help!” Drew was shouting now. “Don’t fucking leave.”

Drew’s hand came to his jacket, as if he was going to rip it from his shoulders. Kurtis grabbed Drew’s wrist as his pulse thundered to life. Drew’s cold blue eyes were on him, and Kurtis thought for a split second that Drew might hit him.

Then his grip softened, and his anger collapsed inward. “I can’t do this by myself, Kurtis.” Drew admitted. “I need you here. Not just for Danny- for me.”

Kurtis gasped, as the words bored into his battered lungs and made it hard to breathe all over again. Drew needed him. Over and over his mind replayed it, so that it drowned out the voices that told him he was useless.

“I can’t stop crying.” Kurtis said, as if to explain why he couldn’t stay, why he was useless to either of them. The tears finally escaped their ducts, as he spoke.

“I need that!” Drew said, gripping his shirt and jacket tighter, bringing Kurtis’ face even closer. “I need your crying, and your laughing, and you trying to get into our pants all the time.” Drew was falling apart, admitting things he didn’t want to admit. “When you’re not here I feel like we lose the heart of us.”

Kurtis’ heart expanded, the words shook free some of the blackness. He pushed tears off his cheeks, to make room for the smile that threatened. “I need you too.” He hiccoughed. “When you’re not around it’s like we’re missing our brain.”

Drew laughed weakly. “What does that make Danny then?”

“Our everything else.” Kurtis replied. “Wait- in the Wizard of Oz what’s the lion looking for?”

“His courage.”

“Danny’s that then.” Kurtis said, with a smile. “Maybe that’s why I feel so scared when he’s gone like this.”

Drew wrapped his arms around Kurtis. “It scares me too.” Drew whispered into his curls. “So please don’t go.”

Kurtis hugged him back, and his chest swelled up with emotion all over again. He was happy, but he was also so incredibly tired of crying. Drew let him go, and Kurtis stepped on the heel of his shoe, to take it off. 

Drew’s hand fell away from the door. “I need-”

“Yeah, I know.” Kurtis said, understanding what Drew wanted before he spoke. Drew’s exhaustion was tangible, he could feel it like a haze. Kurtis was tired too. Much too tired to fight for a second longer. “It’s okay. You can go punch a wall or do whatever you do to calm down.” 

“You won’t leave?” Drew asked wearily.

“I swear, I won’t.” Kurtis said, slipping past Drew to check on Danny in the Kitchen. “I’ll take Danny to the bedroom and-”

Danny wasn’t there. 

“Danny?” Kurtis’ heart rate shot up. Drew trailed after him instantaneously concerned. A single drawer hung open, the cutlery inside shuffled into disarray. 

“Danny!” Kurtis shouted, backtracking through the main room, towards the bathroom, adrenalin filtered and mixed with his blood. It poured through the vessels and was pumped out to his fingertips. While Drew made a beeline for the bedroom.

Kurtis struggled with the bathroom door. His wrist wasn't responding, he couldn’t make his hand work to open it. Until all at once he was tripping and stumbling into the bathroom. Danny was shirtless, sitting on the floor, with his back against the glass wall of the shower. There was a serrated knife in his right hand, and three red streaks along his ribs.

The horizontal cuts were crossed by trickles of blood, running down Danny’s clear and perfect skin, like a horror show hashtag. Kurtis’ first instinct was to run up and seize the knife, to stop it from hurting his love. But an ache in his shin, and stab of guilt froze him in place.

Danny’s eyes were the vast kind of blue. Danny wasn’t there, he was somewhere else, experiencing something else.

“Danny.” Drew was behind him. Kurtis’ hand came to his chest, stopping him from taking another step closer. Danny wouldn’t hurt them, would never hurt them, but Danny wasn’t there right now.

Kurtis dropped to his knees. They were definitely bruised, but it didn’t matter, nothing mattered but stopping Danny from hurting himself any further. Kurtis’ body shook as he crawled towards the man with the knife.

The knife fell down to his thigh, then it dropped. Danny recognized Kurtis’ presence. He parted his knees, and Kurtis came to sit between them carefully wrapping his arms and his legs around the man. There was probably blood getting on his shirt, but he really didn’t care.

Chest to chest, Kurtis buried his face in Danny’s neck, and inhaled his scent mixed with the iron-rich tang of the blood. He pressed his lips under Danny’s chin, and strong arms hugged him back. Danny trembled against him.

Then Danny sucked in a sharp breath, and came alive in his arms. “Kurtis?” Danny squeezed him tight, then gasped as it agitated the painful slits in his skin. Kurtis squeezed him back, then dropped a hand down, to push the knife back and away. 

He heard Drew crouch and pick it up, and when he loosened his hold round Danny’s neck, he caught Drew’s back as it disappeared to fetch the bandages from the kitchen.

“Drew?” Danny’s voice punched a hole in his heart with the fear and confusion it held.

“He’s coming,” Kurtis reassured him, in his gentlest voice, as Danny squeezed him again. “We’re safe, everything's okay.” 

“I just wanted to find you guys.” Danny murmured. Kurtis could feel his fear in every shaky breath. He pressed his face into Kurtis’ curls, trying to find where he was and what was going on. “I couldn’t get back.”

“It’s okay.” Kurtis shushed him. Rubbing his hand over Danny’s back the way Danny had once done to him. “We’re here.”

“Where-?”

“Home.” it was Drew that answered, Kurtis felt him kneel down on Danny’s side. So he shifted his weight over and away from the wound, so that Drew could look at it.

Kurtis’ movement forced Danny to loosen his hold, and he looked up at Drew properly for the first time. “You look mad.”

“I am mad.” Drew replied, with a lilt, making light of the emotion. “And it is fucking exhausting.” Drew sat back on his knees, and lifted Danny’s arm to look at the marks. 

Danny followed Drew’s gaze down and Kurtis felt him startle. “What happened?”

Drew tipped a bottle of rubbing alcohol onto a cloth, and Kurtis cupped Danny’s jaw to kiss him through the impending sting. Danny enjoyed it for a split second, until he broke it to suck in through his teeth, as Drew cleaned the wound.

“The bar? Adonis?”

Kurtis and Drew simultaneously stiffened at the name. Kurtis met Danny’s eyes. They were crystalline, and electric, and present, but Kurtis was wary. “Are you okay to talk about it?”

Drew wiped more blood away from Danny’s ribs and got a grimace in response. “I’ll be fine as long as this keeps up.”

Drew’s face darkened with concern. Neither of them wanted physical pain to be the thing that brought Danny back to them, or held him there. Kurtis angled Danny’s face to watch his expression. He winced, as Drew scrubbed some of the dried blood, from the third and deepest cut. It made Kurtis’ heart hurt. “We can talk about it in a bit.” Danny’s brows furrowed, prompting Kurtis to try and explain himself. “We only just got you back.”

Danny’s breathing picked up, as did his heart rate. “I’m sorry.” Kurtis squeezed him tight, terrified of losing him to the uptick in emotion. 

“What can we do to hold on to you?” Drew asked, taking Kurtis’ hand and making him hold a square of gauze in place while Drew taped the edges. “Besides salting your wounds.”

“I don’t know.” Danny replied honestly. “It comes on when I start feeling bad er- helpless...” Danny trailed off, and Drew pressed down on the wound, forcing Danny to take in a sharp breath. “Or scared or whatever.”

“How do we make sure you don’t feel like that?” Kurtis asked.

“I don’t know,” Danny tilted his head and caught Kurtis’ lips. It was like hot tea, or a warm blanket. Kurtis hated to let it go. “Make me feel good or something.”

“We will.” Kurtis promised, as Drew got to his feet.

“Alright, time to get up.” Drew said, holding out a hand for each of them. Danny dotted Kurtis’ cheek with a quick peck before pushing him off and taking Drew’s hand. Drew pulled them up, then grabbed Danny round the waist, and dragged him into a tight embrace. Drew’s fingers twisted into Danny’s hair, angling his head to give him better access to Danny’s mouth and when they kissed it was like they’d been apart for years rather than hours.

Drew pulled back for a moment, and let out a long slow breath. “Fuck-"

“Please be gentle with yourself.” Drew murmured into space between their lips. “Because I am far too in love with you for this.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me every single chapter: just a little more angst, then I promise things will start getting better.
> 
> Things are getting better here. A cuddle and a communicate is happening. Which are my favorite. Or maybe the smut is my favorite. but also the angst. Okay I like it all. Lol.

Danny kissed the words, and the lips that spoke them with equal passion, and Kurtis felt his eyes welling up all over again. He sucked in a series of short breaths to hold it back so the salt wouldn’t burn the raw skin around his eyes. Then Kurtis felt his jeans constricting, as his body responded to the sounds and the shifting of Danny’s bare torso under Drew’s touch. 

_Did they even realize what they did to him?_

They broke apart panting and Kurtis grabbed Danny’s hand to take him to the bedroom. He wanted to cuddle now, quite desperately.

Drew followed, and Kurtis was pleased to find that he seemed to have left some of the anger behind. Drew dropped his pants and crawled into bed. He found a comfy position in the corner, where the bed met the wall, half sitting amongst the pillows. He made Danny lean back against his chest, but wouldn’t let Kurtis join them until he’d ditched his pants, and his shirt.

“I’m just going to be cold.” Kurtis murmured, climbing across the big bed to the corner, where Drew had tossed a couple more pillows so Kurtis could sit between Danny’s legs.

“Stay close, then.” Drew said, crossing his arms over Danny’s shoulders and pulling him back to plant a kiss on his cheek. Kurtis thought it might’ve been the cutest thing he’d ever seen. 

Kurtis found a comfy spot, leant back against Danny’s one bent knee so he could see both of them, and among the pillows, and the tangled limb, he was overcome with the coziness of it all. And the scary thoughts quieted, and for the first time he thought that maybe everything would be alright. 

Drew leant his head against the wall, and let his eyes fall shut. He looked as exhausted as Kurtis felt. Danny however, was actually quite alert. “Can you tell me what I missed now?” 

Drew grumbled and covered Danny’s eyes with a hand. “No.”

“I’m okay though.” Danny argued, tipping his head so Drew’s hand fell away. “I feel fine.”

“In a bit,” Kurtis said, lacing his fingers with Danny’s. “We missed you.”

Danny smiled sadly, and Kurtis wondered if he’d missed them too. “You look like shit by the way.” 

Kurtis snorted. “Thanks.”

“I mean you never look bad,” Danny backtracked. “Just- like you’ve been through a lot. You look how I should look.”

Kurtis smiled, he lifted Danny’s hand up, so that he could feel the warmth of it on his cheek. “Drew has elected that I do all the feeling for the three of us, and in exchange he will do all the thinking.”

Drew snorted a low laugh, with his eyes still closed. 

“What do I do then?” Danny asked, carefully tracing the red rim below Kurtis’ eye as he examined the burst blood vessels there. 

“Everything else.” Drew muttered. Danny smiled, and Kurtis fell in love with him for what had to be the millionth time. His thumb brushed across the bone of Kurtis’ cheeks with abject reverence.

“Cody was flirting with you.” Danny said. 

Kurtis smiled at the thought of it. Drew brought his hand to Danny’s hair to tilt his head back. “You were trying to show him up.” 

“I was jealous,” Danny said with a giggle, and turned his attention to Kurtis. “You don’t _like_ him, do you?” 

“Not like I like you.” Kurtis replied. It was Danny’s turn to laugh. 

“I remember that,” Danny went on, “then you told me he was there.” Drew’s arm automatically hugged Danny’s shoulders as if to command him to stay right where he was. “I’m okay, I swear. I’m not that fragile.”

“Drew told me to keep you away, but you wanted to rescue him.” Kurtis said. “You cut your hand trying to get past me, then we lost you.” 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Danny asked, concern knitting his eyebrows together. His eyes strayed to Kurtis’ knees and his face fell even further. Kurtis squeezed his hand and swallowed a breath realizing he would have to come clean to them.

“I scared you, you were sat back against the wall, and I stood…” Kurtis trailed off, as he felt Danny’s aura shifting into guilt. Drew, grabbed Danny’s jaw and turned his head to kiss him fervently. He only let Danny go when he felt calmer. Kurtis kissed the back of Danny’s hand. “Now we know.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny said. “I don’t remember.” His thumb touched the purpling on Kurtis’ knees, and he leaned forward to kiss the closest one.

“Then Cody came in.” Kurtis said, “and I-” he brought a hand to his chest as it seized in memory of the attack. “I got really scared that he was going to find out.” 

“Did he? Does Noel know?” Danny asked, nervously.

“No.” Drew said, firmly. He pressed his palm down against Danny’s heart, urging it to settle. “Pause.” Kurtis kissed Danny’s knuckles, and stopped telling his story as per Drew’s directive. Danny leaned his head back and Drew kissed his temple. “Sh.”

“I’m okay, Drew.” Danny said softly. “You don’t have to baby me.”

“Please let me.” Drew replied. “I swear it’s the only thing keeping me sane.” Danny shook his head, but took a couple of deep breaths for Drew’s benefit. Danny nodded at Kurtis encouraging him to keep going. Kurtis took a moment to breathe in the calm and the quiet, he was hesitant to get into the next part.

Drew spoke for him. “Kurtis had a panic attack.”

“Jesus,” Danny exclaimed, his face fell into deep concern, then into guilt at not having been aware enough to notice, or do anything to help.

“I’m okay.” Kurtis reassured him, as his heart rate spiked and scared all three of them. “Cody helped me.”

Danny sunk deeper into the guilt. He pulled his hand from Kurtis’ grasp, and wrapped his arm ‘round his stomach, then he pressed hard on the gauze over his ribs. He sucked in a sharp breath.

Kurtis hated it. It made him feel sick, but he didn’t know what else to do but to let it happen. Drew seemed at a loss as well. Danny breathed in and out.

“When are we going to get to where these came from?” Danny asked. “They’re useful.”

Drew’s head thunked against the wall in exasperation. Kurtis almost laughed.

“So while I was-” Drew glared at Kurtis for continuing, when Danny was flickering. “calming down, you went and saved Drew.”

Danny’s brows furrowed in confusion, and he tilted his head back to look at Drew. “What?”

Drew smiled, and Danny shifted so he could look at Drew properly. “You walked straight up to him, and calmly told him to leave.”

Danny shook his head. “No.”

“It was amazing, he was so pissed.”

“There’s no way.” Danny said. “How was that saving you?”

“I was so close to fucking decking him.” Drew explained. “He was trying to piss me off though. I think he wanted another lawsuit or something.” 

“What was he saying?” Kurtis asked. Drew’s face darkened, and he tugged Danny’s head back to kiss him possessively. The muscle in Danny’s neck stretched, as Drew kissed him with the fiery anger that he’d never really been able to express. Kurtis’ body warmed as he watched. He kind of didn’t want them to stop.

But eventually they had to breathe. “You wouldn’t have done it.” Danny murmured, somewhat dazed.

Kurtis thought about it. Danny hadn’t seen the way Drews temper had been biting and flaring since the bar. In this moment Drew was calm, but based on what he’d seen, Drew might have lashed out at Adonis. Danny had no idea how crazy he made them.

“Then Cody and Noel backed you up,” Drew went on casually. “They told Adonis to fuck off, and he did.”

Danny shook his head in disbelief. “How’s it feel?” Kurtis asked, Danny quirked his head as if to ask, ‘what?’

“You defeated him.” Drew said, “Or at least, you held your ground against him.”

Danny sighed, and shut his eyes, examining how it felt. “Sounds like it went better than last time.”

The joke hit a little too close to home, stinging the open wounds in Kurtis’ chest. Kurtis felt like his own performance may have been worse even than when they’d gone to negotiate with Adonis. He still didn’t say or do anything, AND he had a panic attack.

“Kiss Kurtis.” Drew ordered, pushing Danny up off his chest. Danny fell forwards a little awkwardly, due to how he was positioned but Kurtis met him halfway. 

Danny caught hold of Kurtis’ jaw, and he tasted Danny’s hurt on his tongue like it was his own. It made his heart flutter and ache in an almost addictive way. They parted, and Kurtis realized his runaway thoughts had stilled. He appreciated Drew for rescuing him.

“So where does that leave us?” Danny asked.

“Drew drove us back here.” Kurtis said. “Then he cleaned up your knuckles.” 

“Then, while Kurtis and I were talking about what to do with you…” Drew trailed off, not knowing how to go on.

“You did that.” Kurtis finished for him, gesturing to the white bandages taped to Danny’s side.

Danny exhaled slowly, he wasn’t surprised. “It wasn’t an accident.” He brought his hands up to touch it. When he looked up again, Kurtis saw shame shining in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

For the first time, it looked like Danny was going to cry, and Kurtis couldn’t bear to watch it from where he was. If Danny cried, it would start him up again, and he really didn’t have the stamina for any more tears.

Kurtis shifted forward, taking Danny’s hand away from the marks and covering the spot with his own. “It’s okay. You just wanted to get back.” Danny bit down, on his first knuckle and just breathed for a moment. “We’re not mad.” Kurtis reassured him, side-eyeing Drew, who was definitely mad. “We’re going to figure out another way,” Kurtis petted Danny’s skin as he spoke, trying to reassure himself as well as Danny. “You won’t feel like this forever, it’s going to be okay.” 

Danny’s body relaxed incrementally, at Kurtis’ soft words. Drew touched Danny’s hair, very gently, while Kurtis kissed his chest and neck lazily. With everything out in the open, they were all able to relax. Drew’s hand fell away from Danny's hair at some point, as he nodded off. Danny slouched farther down until just his head was on Drew’ lap, and he passed out with an arm over Kurtis’ back. 

Kurtis’ mind didn’t wander with Danny’s warm chest against his cheek, but he was the last to fall asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter Friday. Long chapter Sunday.
> 
> I feel like I'm accelerating. Lol.

Kurtis wasn’t sure what woke Danny, but it was Danny’s squirming that had woken him. Kurtis peeked open an eye to find Danny staring at the dark ceiling, stretching and flexing an arm that had evidently fallen asleep. 

Kurtis shut his eyes again, but his mind was already slipping away from sleep and back towards the events of the previous day. If they’d even passed into the next day. Starlight poured in through the open window they were curled up beside. He couldn’t tell whether it was midnight or nearly morning. He had no idea how long they’d been asleep, but his stomach took that moment to remind him they’d forgotten to eat dinner.

His stomach gnawed itself, while his mind flitted from the panic attack, to Drew’s hand fisted in his shirt, to Noel calling his dinner with Cody a date. The thoughts were accompanied by flickers of emotion that blended together in his half-dreamy state, into something he could only describe as ‘bad’. The bad feeling sort of felt like the hunger, a low jab in his abdomen. 

Kurtis peaked an eye open to see if Danny had shut his. 

He hadn’t. His arm was thrown over the pillows by Drew’s side, and he watched the ceiling like there was a projection up there, of something terribly interesting. Kurtis shifted and stretched his stiff shoulders. Then was overcome by a full body yawn. 

When Kurtis opened his eyes, he had Danny’s attention. “Time ‘s it?” Kurtis mumbled.

“Three.” Danny replied. “Go back to sleep.” Danny’s hand fell to his hair, and he gently smoothed the curls. It felt exquisite, almost nice enough the Kurtis could have fallen back asleep. If his mind hadn’t filled up so rapidly, upon waking.

Kurtis shut his eyes, and revelled in Danny’s soft touch for a moment. He wondered if Danny found it as soothing as he did. Kurtis stopped the hand, kissed the wrist, and brought Danny’s arm down around him. 

“Truth or Dare?” Danny murmured, his voice so low that even Kurtis barely heard it.

“Truth.” Kurtis replied.

“Did he change things between us?” 

Kurtis wasn’t the only one that was doing too much thinking at three in the morning. And he found that strangely reassuring.

“Yeah.” Kurtis whispered. “I don’t think we can fuck unsupervised anymore.”

Danny’s eyes were haunting in the lowlight. He tried to smile, to laugh, but it was breathy with disbelief. “That’s it?” He asked. 

“That’s it.” Kurtis replied, firmly. Danny went back to staring up at the ceiling, no doubt considering Kurtis’ answer. Would he take Kurtis words at face value? Believe them as the truth? He had to, Kurtis thought.

It was truth or dare, after all.

“Your turn.” Kurtis said.

“Truth.”

“What does it feel like?” Kurtis asked. “Spacing out.”

Danny didn’t speak, and for a moment Kurtis worried that asking about it, might have set Danny off. And when he did speak, he sounded like he might’ve been halfway there.

“Like dreaming.” His eyes were fixed firmly on the ceiling, like his soul was up there looking down at his body. “Have you ever had a dream where you’re someone else, and yourself at the same time? It’s like that.”

“Is it scary?” Kurtis asked, brushing the edge of his thumb down Danny’s breastbone.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t remember a lot of it, but it’s scary that I do things without really being there. I do things that aren’t like me. Then I start doubting that I really am me, even worse.”

Kurtis pushed himself up to catch Danny’s lips in a soft kiss. 

“You and Drew help, like, when you guys are around I feel more like me.” Kurtis smiled. It reminded him of the conversation he and Drew had. Fight- it was really more of a fight. They all felt more like themselves when they were together. Danny kissed him, and it seemed to ground him back to the present moment. 

Drew made a sound and Kurtis glanced up at his slouched form, wondering if he’s woken. His breaths came slow and even. So Kurtis cuddled back up to Danny’s side to continue their game. 

“Truth.” He said, still nowhere near tired enough to go back to sleep. 

Danny paused for a moment, not like he was thinking of a question, but like he was mustering the courage to say it aloud. “Is there a part of you that hates me?”

Danny’s eyes shone once the words were out, terrified of the answer. 

Kurtis’ heart ached. He wanted to say no straight away, he wanted to snatch away the pain and the fear Danny had been carrying around with the question in the back of his head. But this question, that had been weighing on Danny for as long as it had. Kurtis needed to show it some consideration. Because it was important to Danny that he answer it truthfully. 

So Kurtis replayed the memories. He replayed the disbelief he felt when Danny agreed to Adonis’ terms. He felt again the intense desire to stop it, to get away. He felt his disgust, and his discomfort, and the shameful drug-induced lust, and there wasn’t a trace of anger at Danny. There was anger at himself, anger at his own inaction, but he had none to spare for Danny. There was only heart-stoppingly painful affection.

Kurtis crawled onto Danny, so that his weight might ground Danny while he answered. “There isn’t room for a part to hate you. I love you too much.” Danny let out a breath, and rolled his head back, eyes still shining. 

Kurtis’ angled Danny’s jaw to look at him, he needed Danny to understand how he felt. Kurtis kissed him, with heat and longing, a kiss that begged for him to understand just how strong the love burning in Kurtis’ chest was. He pulled back breathless, and Danny’s blue eyes were electric in the moonlight. 

“Is there a part of you that hates me?” Kurtis asked.

“No,” Danny said, his voice breathy and weak.

“You just hate yourself?” Danny swallowed hard, and bit his lip. A tear spilled out anyways. Kurtis kissed the place on his cheek where it fell. “I wish you didn’t.”

Danny let out a shaky breath. “Me too.”

Tears continued to fall, and the only thing Kurtis could do was kiss them away. Kurtis was glad that Danny was feeling it though. Not floating away from it, or pushing it down and pretending it didn’t exist. 

Drew didn’t wake, or maybe he did, heard Kurtis handling it, and went back to sleep. Just his presence made Kurtis feel like things were going to be okay. Just knowing that all he had to do was prod Drew awake and he’d tell them to stop making each other cry was enough.

Danny’s breathing settled, then it slowed. Kurtis opened an eye, to discover that Danny had fallen back asleep. Kurtis kissed him very gently, and curled under his arm again. Hoping that Danny wouldn’t wake again until morning.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to self: Do not write while hungry.
> 
> Note to commenters: <3 Thank you! (Talked in a comment about plans for Part 6, long story short: Yes, I want to do a part 6. No, I don't have it written yet. Lol)

“Hey,” Drew nudged Kurtis with his knee. Sunlight was now streaming in through the window, to their upper floor condo. Kurtis scrunched up his eyes against it, and grumbled. “I need to get up, food’s going to be here soon.”

“Food?” Kurtis opened one eye to peer at Drew in confusion. Drew was half buried amongst pillows, blankets and Danny’s body. Drew turned his wrist indicating the phone in his hand. “What kind of food?” 

“Breakfast food.” Drew replied. Kurtis’ stomach growled. He pushed against Danny’s side, helping to uncover Drew’s leg. Danny rolled off, scrunching a pillow up under him, intent on continuing to sleep. 

“Are you sore?” Kurtis asked. Drew rolled his shoulders stretching his neck.

“Probably,” He replied. He stretched and grumbled as he crawled out from his corner spot. “I can’t believe I slept like that.” Drew said glancing over his shoulder at the dent. Kurtis noticed a fading pink spot on his forehead from where his head had pressed against the wall. “Were you guys talking in the middle of the night?”

Kurtis nodded. 

“Was one of you crying?” Drew went on. Kurtis side-eyed Danny’s sleeping form. Drew crawled over Danny, pushed his hair away and kissed his temple. “What happened?”

“Kurtis was nice to me.” Danny murmured. Drew snorted a laugh, and got out of bed. He checked an app on his phone, put some pajama pants on, and left to fetch their food.

Kurtis crawled over to Danny, already overflowing with affection. “Dare you to get up for breakfast.” He whispered next to Danny’s ear. 

Danny rolled from his stomach onto his side, to peer up at Kurtis with one squinting eye. Then he hooked an arm round Kurtis’ torso, and pulled him down into the pillows. Kurtis giggled and squirmed as Danny’s strong arms squeezed him in a forced cuddle. 

“Dare you to make me.” Danny replied, getting his mouth under Kurtis’ chin. Then there were teeth testing the muscle in his neck, and it sent an electric pulse, straight to his dick. Kurtis stopped struggling and turned his head to give Danny better access.

Danny heard the door, and Drew called them from the other room. Danny laughed, pulled back, and Kurtis had to consciously hold back a whine. Then the smell of bacon and syrup reached them, and suddenly their stomachs drove them out of bed.

Drew had set out plates, and was opening little brown cartons. One was full of bacon, another full of scrambled eggs. There was one with hashbrowns, and one with waffles. Kurtis’ stomach growled again.

Danny stopped, half leant over the table, and met Drew’s eye. “I am totally in love with you.”

Drew rolled his eyes, but Kurtis caught him smiling to himself all the same. There wasn’t much talking after that, as breakfast took priority over most other things.

After breakfast, Kurtis called the first shower. He was full and content, and he managed to strip down naked, before his mind aggressively reminded him of Danny with a knife in his hand, and blood dripping down his stomach. Kurtis traced a tattoo he had on his own ribs absentmindedly, while he waited for the hot water to come, and for the intrusive thought to subside.

The warmth of the shower chased the memory away, but Kurtis was still thinking of Danny. Thick suds dripped from his sodden curls down his spine, and he recalled Danny’s mouth on his neck before breakfast. His body hummed then startled, at the door to the shower opening.

“Hi,” Kurtis greeted as Danny stepped into the already steamy shower. His skin was tan and clear, and the three red lines on his ribs practically glowed. Drew must’ve removed the white gauze for him to shower. Danny winced ever so slightly as the water touched them, and Kurtis winced at the memory of how they got there. 

“Dare you not to look at them.” Danny said, tugging Kurtis in close. The warm press of his naked body, coupled with the heat of the water, actually did reduce their effect.

Danny kissed him, and Kurtis felt it in his pelvis. Then they broke apart so Danny could wash himself. But Kurtis was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his hands off Danny’s skin.

“Let me wash your back.” Kurtis said, taking the bar soap from Danny’s hands. He lathered, and spread it over the smooth muscle, until the suds fell down his spine. Kurtis chased them lower, and took the opportunity to grab, and play with Danny’s ass, under the guise of cleaning. Then Kurtis pressed his chest into the slippery mess, so that he could feel Danny’s ass against his hard cock.

“Love.” Kurtis said. Kissing Danny’s shoulder blade. He would have had to stand on tiptoes to reach his cheek. Danny turned around and caught Kurtis’ mouth again. 

“You and Drew... you can’t just shower.”

“You look so good.” Kurtis whined. “I can’t help it.” 

Danny was facing him now, half hard, and decorated in little clouds of white bubbles. He moved under the water, and the soap dripped down over the cuts. Danny didn’t wince as hard, he’d been expecting it. Kurtis sighed, struggling to resist the urge to cover the cuts with a palm.

Danny washed his hair out. “Drew is flying out tonight. I want sex before he goes.”

Kurtis pushed himself into Danny’s body, so that he could feel the press of Danny’s cock next to his. “I’d be, uh, down for that.”

Danny snickered. “Yeah, I suspected you might be.”

He kissed Kurtis enthusiastically, then spun him around for one more rinse in the hot water, then shut it off. They dried off and Kurtis suggested that Danny get Drew to redress his cuts.

Danny pulled his boxers on, but Kurtis stopped him before he could go out and attempt to drag Drew into the mood they’d worked themselves into. Kurtis touched and fondled Danny until he was very hard, and the cotton clung to the outline of his dick. Then he sucked a mark just above Danny’s collarbone, whose colour matched Danny’s shower-warmed cheeks.

Danny paused before the half fogged mirror, to admire Kurtis’ handiwork. “Think this’ll work?”

“I mean, I’d fuck you.”

Danny smirked, and wandered out to fetch the tape and gauze. Then headed into the living room, where Drew was working on his laptop. Kurtis had thrown a pair of pajama pants on, but his skin was still heated from the shower and Danny’s attention. He settled himself in an armchair across from Drew, perfectly content to watch Danny come on to their preoccupied counterpart.

First, Danny carefully removed Drew’s headphones. Then he placed the laptop on the coffee table, and finally, took a seat in the warm spot it left in his lap.

“I was using that.” Drew said, gently. Then his eyes flicked down to the red cuts on Danny’s ribs and he held out a hand for the supplies. Drew’s attention was focused on the injuries. Kurtis only saw his eyes stray to the obvious erection once in the entire procedure, and that was only because Danny flexed his hips. 

Drew kissed Danny’s knuckles to indicate he was finished with the hand, and Danny shifted his hips again. “Thank you.” 

“I feel like Kurtis could have handled that.” Drew responded.

“We were wondering if you-” Danny stopped, Drew had shaken his head. Kurtis felt Danny's mood deflate all the way from where he sat.

“I can’t. But you guys are welcome to continue.”

Danny’s disappointment was palpable, and it mixed with Kurtis’ own disappointment. Danny wasn’t the only one that wanted to sleep with Drew. Sex with Drew was fun and safe, and Kurtis wasn’t sure that he and Danny could continue without accidentally hurting one another.

“But Drew,” Danny said, voicing Kurtis’ exact thought. “We can’t fuck unsupervised.”

“Oh?” Drew raised an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

“Kurtis said so.” 

Drew looked past Danny’s left shoulder at Kurtis, who bit his lip. “I’m scared I won’t notice if-” He glanced at Danny. “If something happened.”

Drew’s brows furrowed, and his expression folded into sympathy, but he still shook his head. Danny moved his hands so they were touching his hips just above the waistband of his boxers, one final attempt to interest him.

“I’d feel a lot better with you there.” Kurtis tried, equally desperate for Drew to, at the very least, supervise them fooling around.

“I just can’t right now, guys.” Drew said gently, moving his hands off Danny’s waist to take the other man’s hands.

“But it’s our last day together.” Danny said, struggling to come to terms with Drew’s rejection.

“I’m sorry, you guys can fuck in that chair and I’ll keep an eye on you while I work.” Drew offered.

Danny reluctantly rose off Drew’s lap, and came over to Kurtis’ chair. The chair was high-backed and wide with arms spaced well apart. Like it was designed for two people to comfortably cuddle on. Danny forced Kurtis to get up, and sit on his lap so that he was able to see Drew.

Kurtis allowed it, because he wanted Drew to be able to see Danny.

Danny’s hands automatically came out to grip Kurtis’ hips as his disappointment was translated into possessiveness. Kurtis touched his cheeks, knowing exactly how acutely painful Drew’s rejection could be and tried to kiss it away. Danny leaned into it, and his hands shifted round to grasp Kurtis’ ass through his pants. 

Kurtis distantly heard Drew pick up his laptop, and Danny broke to breathe and glance over him. The look lasted for a second, then Danny was back at Kurtis’ lips, and his neck. Kissing him gently, then roughly depending on the ebb of his disappointment. For a moment it seemed like he wanted to fuck Kurtis, and make Drew jealously watch, then he softened, like he wished Drew would say something, or stop them. 

Kurtis was dazed by the back and forth of it. Danny’s emotion and his own were taking up a lot of space in his chest, coupled with Danny’s somewhat aggressive attention left him breathless and aching. Though he couldn’t tell whether it was for more or less.

Danny pushed his hips back, and turned to Drew, voice sharp. “Why? Why don’t you want to?”

“I can’t say no?” Drew replied, with equal briar.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Danny bit back, his hurt was showing. “I just- if there’s something on your mind, we could…” Drew put a headphone in, weakening Danny further. “talk about it.”

“I’m fine.” Drew replied, looking down at his laptop, again.

“We could-”

“Danny, please just drop it.” Drew said, interrupting whatever final plea Danny was going to make. “I can see this is hurting your feelings, don’t make me keep saying it. Just let it go. You and Kurtis can do something fun.”

Danny squirmed and Kurtis got up. Kurtis tried to take his hand, but Danny just brushed past him towards the bathroom. Kurtis’ heart ached, and he was pulled in both directions. He sighed, and made a quick decision. He flopped down on the couch next to Drew.

“Are you here to be disappointed at me too?” Drew replied. 

“No, I’m worried about Danny.” Kurtis said, and he could tell that Drew felt the same. “Getting rejected by you sucks.”

Drew rolled his eyes. “You may have come on to me, but it wasn’t me that you wanted to fuck.” He explained, as they both recalled Kurtis’ feeble drunken attempt to get into his pants the other night.

“You may have turned down Danny but it’s not cause you don’t want to fuck him.” Kurtis countered.

“Oh yeah, Detective Conner?” Drew said. “How’ve you deduced that?”

“Well, you’re still pissed,” Kurtis said. Sitting next to Drew, it was the only thing he could feel. He wondered how Danny hadn’t noticed it. “And when your mad you want to fuck Danny.” Kurtis went on. “So what’s stopping you?”

“How do you know being angry makes me want to fuck Danny?” Drew asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just the vibes, dude.”

Drew rolled his eyes again but this time Kurtis suspected it was because Kurtis had accurately picked up on something he thought he was hiding. “It’s just-”

“Wait,” Kurtis interrupted. “We need Danny.”

Drew sighed, and Kurtis rose from the couch. He hurried into the bathroom, excited to bring Danny back and talk with Drew. He really felt like they might get somewhere. 

He found Danny staring at himself in the mirror. Kurtis saw his eyes in the reflection, just on the verge of vacancy, but Danny’s grip was tight on the edge of the sink. Like he was trying to hold himself down, against completely floating away.

“Danny?” Kurtis failed to keep the note of stress out of his voice. He sucked in a breath and deliberately eased his tone. “Hey- you’re supposed to come find us when it feels like this.”

Danny didn’t respond. Kurtis took Danny’s wrist and his fingers lifted from the porcelain. Kurtis tried running a thumb over the sensitive skin there. Then he pressed in, trying to kiss Danny awake like sleeping beauty.

His heart rate increased, it was like kissing a mannequin. Kurtis dropped Danny’s wrist and his eyes were drawn to the white gauze standing out on his still bare torso. Kurtis exhaled a shaky breath, then reached out, and pressed his palm into the cotton. His first attempt was too light. Danny didn’t respond. So Kurtis pushed hard with his thumb, and said Danny’s name again.

The pain generated a gasp, and Danny seemed to come alive with it. “Kurtis, was I-?” Danny’s eyes started to shimmer at the edges. “Drew didn’t want to, was I pushing too-”

Kurtis wrapped his arms around Danny’s torso holding him tight. “No, he’s fine. Everything is okay.” Danny gently touched Kurtis’ shoulders, hugging him back with a hint of confusion. “Let’s go talk to him.” Kurtis murmured into his chest, as he tried to get a handle on his own anxiety. “Are you okay?”

He felt Danny’s breath come, a slow in and out. “I’m trying to be okay.” Danny said, his voice cracked a little. “I swear I am.” He sucked in another breath. “I didn’t think it would be this bad just from him saying no.”

“I know,” Kurtis said, deeply empathizing with the man. “You have to come talk, though. It won’t feel like that.” 

Danny rubbed his eyes, inhaled, and exhaled. “Okay.”

Kurtis led him back out to the living room, all the way to Drew’s lap. Then he took a seat in the corner of the couch. 

“I’m sorry.” Drew said, kissing Danny’s knuckles again. “I want to fuck you. I just have this bad feeling like the pit of my stomach. I don’t know what to call it other than bad. Bad for lying on the deposition and what happened to you. And I want to kill Adonis and it’s all just heavy, and distracting.”

“I-” Danny started, then the words seemed to fall away from his tongue. “He made me-” Another pause. “He put his hand over my mouth. I didn’t have a choice-” Kurtis watched him flickering as he tried to explain to Drew what Adonis had forced him to do. 

Danny swallowed. “And sometimes it feels like it’s all rotten inside of me because of it.”

Kurtis’ heart fractured but he couldn’t move to comfort him, as Drew was still listening intently. 

“That’s disgusting.” Drew stated. His hand tightening, squeezing Danny’s as he struggled to hold back a fresh of flash anger.

“Yeah, it makes me feel like I’m disgusting.” Danny palmed his chest. Like he could feel it under his skin, and he worried it was showing through.

Drew’s face was a mask of anguish. Anguish and hatred for the man that had made Danny feel that way. “You shouldn’t.” was all that he said.

“But I do.” Danny exhaled, and focused on Drew’s hand, trying to keep himself grounded. “I agreed to it and now the rot it’s just there, whether I deserve it or not.

“You don’t.” Drew said sternly.

“Neither do you.”

They held each other’s gaze for a moment. Drew's anger and despair were right there just behind his eyes, and he couldn't agree or disagree. The air was all pulled taut between them, Kurtis spoke carefully afraid to let either one of the be the one to break the silence. “It’s not just going to go away because we want it to.” Kurtis said. “But we can talk…”

“And what’s that going to do?” Drew snapped.

“What’s sitting there quietly feeling shitty about it going to do?” Kurtis replied, feeling a little like he might’ve been echoing someone else’s words. “At least if we acknowledge that it’s there, it’s not something we have to be ashamed of.”

Drew sighed. “I feel like I’m the reason Danny got hurt.” 

Danny smiled. “Welcome to the club.”

“See? totally normal,” Kurtis murmured coming to lean against Drew’s shoulder. “Can we fuck him now?”

Drew laughed. “I still need a minute to turn off my brain. I was kind of serious about you guys getting started in the chair. I thought it might be like- just the right amount of distracting. Like enough to get me into it while I clear my head.”

“Would you maybe be up to… telling us what to do?” Kurtis asked, cheekily. “When you’re ready?”

“I’m sure we can think of some ideas on our own.” Danny said.

“We’ll see.” Drew replied with an easy smile. He kissed Danny, wrapping his arms around him, and touching his now chilled skin with reverence. He traced the gentle indents of the muscle near his spine and Danny made a low noise of approval. Then he pulled back. “I love you.” Drew said. 

“I love you too.” Danny answered, and they kissed once more for good measure. Kurtis experienced a warm tingly feeling in the back of his skull at their making up, or maybe at them making out.

“I don’t know how you can stand us starting without you.” Danny said, when they broke apart.

“You guys are absolutely adorable when you’re working each other up.” Drew replied.

“You don’t get jealous?”

“Not when you keep looking over to see if I’m watching.” Drew said with a smirk. And Danny rolled his eyes.

But Kurtis was right it seemed. Talking didn't fix it, but it made it possible to go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I like full on live for the Drew/Kurtis dynamic. Ever since that heckin’ party. It’s just the partnership. Anyways I could keep gushing but I won’t. Also just briefly, a short summary of how the boys deal with anger:
> 
> -Drew shouts about a thing that is not the thing he is mad about, and really doesn’t like being angry.  
> -Danny aggressively internalizes and miscommunicates.  
> -Kurtis empathizes with whoever is shouting at him. Also prone to fleeing and crying, usually both.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're doing it. It's happening tonight my folks!

“Go get the toy for Kurtis.” Drew ordered.

Danny laughed and threw a look at Kurtis that said ‘Now, look what you’ve done.’ Kurtis just smiled, while Danny disappeared to find the toy.

“Thank you.” Drew said, wrapping an arm around Kurtis’ shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“For what?” Kurtis asked, relieved at Drew’s newfound excitement.

“When Danny and I fight, it never feels like you take sides.” Drew replied. 

Kurtis hummed. “I never noticed.” He thought back to all the fights he’d witnessed. “You’d do the same for me, though.”

“If you and Danny ever fought. When things are bad between you two, you just run away from the problem in different directions.” 

Kurtis laughed. “Well, you don’t let us get very far.” 

“By the way,” Drew went on. “Are you okay with like… a lot of teasing?”

Kurtis felt a pulse low in his pelvis. “Do you already know where this is going?”

Drew smirked. “Yeah. Ends with me fucking Danny.” 

“Is there talking?” Kurtis asked.

“A lot of talking.”

“Then yes.”

Drew laughed at the firmness in the reply. 

Danny returned with the toy and lube. “Took you awhile.” Drew teased. “Now, Danny sit. Kurtis-” Drew nodded his head at where Danny was now seated in the wide chair. Kurtis rose from Drew’s side to go stand in front of Danny. 

The pair looked to Drew for further instruction. “Touch him through his pants.” Danny’s hands followed the order. Kurtis was half hard just from Drew implying that he was going to talk, and it was rapidly thickening at the actual words. “Kiss him, on his hip.” Drew went on and Kurtis felt Danny’s mouth trace one of his tattoo’s, lighting up the nerves underneath. “Yeah, now bite, just above that one.” 

Kurtis moaned. He felt Danny’s teeth on his skin and had absolutely zero regrets about letting Drew drive. 

“Now you can take his pants off.” Danny lowered Kurtis’ pajama pants and his cock sprang forth. Danny smiled. Drew knew exactly what to have Danny do, to get Kurtis like this. 

“Kurtis, sit in his lap, but like- yeah, on your knees.” Kurtis kneeled atop Danny, totally naked, shins on either side of his thighs. Danny ran his hands up Kurtis’ spread legs, and Kurtis was struck by how exposed he felt, being watched by Drew, who was still entirely dressed.

Then Danny kissed him, and his lips were heavenly. Hot and soft, and eager. He kissed Kurtis, like he wanted Drew to enjoy it, which sent little whispers of excitement dripping down his spine. But Danny wasn’t just doing it for Drew, he was also relaxing into the game. His touch loving, and gentle where he traced tattoos and muscle. Kurtis’ body lit up under his care.

Then Danny moved down to his neck, and Kurtis swooned. He lifted his chin, practically begging Danny to use his teeth, and mark him. Danny didn’t though, and Kurtis briefly considered turning to Drew to ask for it. But then Danny’s hands drifted dangerously close to his ass, and Kurtis lost track of that entire train of thought.

Danny paused and looked to Drew. Drew must’ve given him some sort of signal, because the next thing Kurtis heard was the cap of the lube, and there was a tug and a squirm of anticipation from his stomach.

“Don’t push in yet.” Drew instructed, his voice low and laden with lust. Kurtis felt Danny’s fingers, touching him, and he knew Drew was watching. He felt like a plaything, and it was driving him crazy. His cock was heavy and his mind narrowed to wanting whatever Drew wanted of him. “When he wants them inside,” Drew went on. “He has to ask, then you hold still while he sits back and fucks himself on them.”

Kurtis shivered as a thick pulse of desire raced down his spine. He wanted Danny’s fingers inside. Quite desperately. He kissed Danny, begging without words, because fuck if he knew what words were right now, but Danny didn’t relent. “Drew, I can’t-'' Kurtis panted.

“Can’t what?” Drew taunted. “Use your words.”

“Danny…” Kurtis whined. Danny’s cheeks were alight. His body was responding to the teasing and the dirty talk and Kurtis’ obvious want.

“You don’t have to do what Drew says.” Danny said, touching and pressing the lube in without directly disobeying. Kurtis breathed in the short puffs of air that Danny released. “I want to make you feel good.” His voice was low and intimate, then his other hand was closing over Kurtis’ cock, thumb dipping into the wetness at the tip and spreading it around in a motion not unlike that which he was using on Kurtis’ ass.

“Danny, hand off his cock.” Drew ordered. Neither of them were happy about that one. Danny reluctantly lifted his hand, and Kurtis made a sound that very easily could have been classified as a pout.

“You really shouldn’t have given him this much power.” Danny said. Kurtis just huffed and panted, stuck thinking about ways he could get Danny’s finger inside him without stooping to begging. “You had to know he was going to abuse it.” Kurtis shifted his hips back, and Danny pressed a finger in, as if reading his mind. Kurtis groaned, and he felt Drew’s disappointment fall on his back. 

“Danny.” Drew scolded.

“He did it, he did what you wanted.” Danny said, wrapping his other arm around Kurtis’ waist to hold him, through the initial shock of penetration.

Kurtis stole a glance over his shoulder, to see Drew shaking his head. “Kurtis, ask for more.” Drew’s voice was so firm, and Danny’s finger felt so good, that Kurtis only managed a whimper of pleasure. “Danny, kiss him and push past the knuckle.” Danny followed the order. With the one arm still holding Kurtis’ lightly trembling body, he kissed him hungrily. Kurtis poured his neediness into the kiss and let loose another small moan, as the knuckle sunk into him. He felt full already. “Fuck him till he asks for more.” 

Danny started to ease the finger out again, edging him with the knuckle. Kurtis arched his back, and he felt his dick leak onto Danny’s abs.

“Drew, he’s shaking.” Danny said softly, looking up at Kurtis’ face with adoration. “It’s so cute. Don’t make him talk.”

The words made Kurtis even weaker. “Please,” he managed the one word, and felt Drew’s approval like a fresh wave of lust. “More.” He whispered only for Danny, and he felt Danny’s fingers respond immediately, his ring finger coming to join the middle.

“Ah-” He could feel the spread of Danny’s hand over his ass, and the strength of his hold around Kurtis’ waist. Then the fullness and the stretch made his mind go white. Danny set a gentle rocking pace. Just slow enough that Kurtis couldn’t quite go fully blank. 

“What are you thinking, Danny?” Drew asked, and Kurtis was reminded that Drew was watching all this, and his dick gave a weak pulse. 

“I didn’t expect this.” Danny replied, his voice sounded wonderful too. Edged with arousal, Kurtis thought he could listen to them talk all day, and he’d be perfectly happy as long as Danny continued to hold him like this.

“You expected me to reduce you to whining and begging for cock?” Drew asked, and Kurtis felt Danny’s clothed cock pulse for that. 

“Uhm-”

“I will.” Drew promised. “I just wanted you to hear Kurtis’ pretty little sounds, while you thought about sitting on my lap, just like he’s sat on yours.” Drew went on, heedless of Danny’s inarticulate response.

“I’m supposed to be thinking of getting fucked?” Danny said, with his two fingers entirely buried in Kurtis’ ass.

“Yes. My fingers, and then my cock. Filling you up. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.” Drew said. 

Danny slowed. “Drew, are you planning on putting me between you two again? Cause that's-” Kurtis rocked his hips wanting the stimulation back. Danny got briefly distracted by the movement, possibly thinking about the prospect of being propped between them again. “A lot for me.”

“I mean, you don't have to.” Drew replied, not offended in the slightest. “Kurtis will be wet and ready. Might even beg you to fuck him, but we can just make him kiss you sweetly while you're on my cock.”

“Oh.” Danny gasped, as Kurtis’ body tightened and rocked with a wave bordering on orgasm. “Kurtis really does like it when you talk dirty.” His palm pressed up against Kurtis’ ass as muscle clenched around the digits. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, have you thought about how easy it'd be to take your fingers out and replace them with your dick?” Drew asked.

Kurtis groaned, and Danny bit back an answer to it. “Drew-”

“He'd be so sweet about it too, just kiss your cheek and beg you to move.” Drew stated. His tone was still light, in spite of the heavy haze of lust hanging in the air. “You can put the toy in, now”

“Why are you teasing him like this if you're not going to follow through?” Danny asked, leaning forward for the toy. “It's mean.”

Drew hummed. It was exactly what he’d warned Kurtis of it being, a lot of teasing and a lot of talking. Kurtis had no desire to complain though, as it felt incredible and he really couldn’t imagine wanting it to stop. 

“Keep fucking him with the toy, slowly though.” Danny’s fingers slipped free and Kurtis gasped, at the emptiness. They were replaced by the cold metal and anticipation tightened and curled in his abdomen. “How hard is he?”

Danny’s other hand found his cock, and there was a brief cold, as it was lifted out of the mess of precum on Danny’s stomach. Danny gave him a squeeze while the toy was sinking in and Kurtis arched his back.

“Hands where I can see them Danny.” Drew ordered. Danny dropped Kurtis’ cock, and lifted that hand. Then he threw Drew a dirty look. 

“I'm not even teasing him.” Drew went on, while he had Danny’s attention. “This is for you. Cause this is exactly what I plan to do with you. Bury my fingers in your ass, until you're moaning and squirming just like he is.” Kurtis felt Danny shiver. “Look at his face.”

Danny did.

“How desperate is he- for you to fuck him?”

Looking down at Danny’s pretty blue eyes and his pupils blown wide with arousal. Kurtis couldn’t resist holding his face and kissing him deeply. He was full with the toy, painfully hard and desperately in love with the man doing it to him. 

Danny moaned, and Kurtis slipped his tongue in. Kissing Danny so that he’d understand just how badly he wanted to be fucked. Danny responded by grinding Kurtis’ cock against his, shifting the toy and driving him mad.

They broke for breath and Danny’s eyes went straight to Drew. “I want you just like that, desperate. Kurtis, how hard is he?”

Danny moaned as Kurtis’ hand drifted down to his cock. It was brutally hard, and Kurtis couldn’t resist kissing him while he palmed it. He wanted Danny to put it inside him so badly, and Danny seemed to be a breath away from doing it.

“Can you two come here?” Drew said, sweetly. 

Kurtis pulled back automatically. Then he and Danny just breathed for a moment, as they came to terms with the fact that they weren’t going to fuck there and then on the chair. Kurtis tried to get up. It turned out his legs were wobbly from how tightly he’d been clenching the muscles in that position. So Danny helped him, and held his hand until they reached the couch. 

Drew directed Kurtis to the corner. Which might have been disappointing if he wasn’t so deeply entranced by Danny and Drew’s interaction. There was electricity between them, and it made Kurtis’ body burn. 

Drew patted his lap for Danny while Kurtis eased himself down, so he was facing the pair. Drew tugged down Danny’s boxers, smiling at the wet spot on them, then he pulled Danny down into a very tight hug. He let Danny go, then with one hand on either shoulder he looked Danny square in the eyes. “You're doing okay?” 

Danny nodded and leaned in to kiss him passionately. Kurtis once again marveled at the way they kissed, Danny was so much more submissive with Drew than he was with Kurtis. It turned him on, but a light breeze would probably do it for him in his current state. 

“Fuck me.” Danny whispered into Drew’s lips. Kurtis’ muscles tightened as a wave of heat crashed into him. 

Drew glanced over. Kurtis’s cock was swollen and leaking, just from watching his two lovers tongue fuck. Drew’s eyes lowered to the toy. “You good?” He asked.

Kurtis nodded.

“Can I- ?” Kurtis' hand strayed down his belly towards his dick. “I want to.” 

“Yes, but if you cum, I won't be happy.” Drew replied, then turned his attention back to Danny. With the pop of a cap, he lubed his fingers and began spreading the slick fluid around Danny's ass. Danny gasped as the nerve endings were toyed with and massaged.

Then Drew sunk his finger in.

“Oh fuck, you feel good.” Drew whispered, into Danny’s lips which were an inch away from his. “You're so tight, love.”

Kurtis felt his back arch almost involuntarily as his vision briefly flashed white. He dropped his cock like a hot ember, and breathed as his orgasm receded. Danny watched, and smiled.

“Kurtis likes it.” He observed.

“What do you think he likes about it?” Drew asked, softly, fucking Danny with just a single finger.

“I-” Danny groaned and panted. “I don't know.”

“What's he see?” Drew said, setting a slow and gentle pace, to the middle knuckle then out again. “Try to describe it.”

“He- ah!” Danny’s head rolled back, as he was distracted. “He can see your fingers.”

“He can see you tense every time I hit the knuckle.” Drew corrected, pushing in past it now, so that Danny arched beautifully. “Then there's your pretty cheeks all rosy and sweet. He sees you pushing back on me. Trying to take more.” That one, that series of words pushed Kurtis dangerously close to the edge again. Kurtis gasped, as he came down. “Danny, can you hold Kurtis' hand?” Danny reached out a hand and Kurtis took it with the one that had been on his dick.

“You can just fuck yourself with the toy for a bit.” Drew suggested. Kurtis’ other hand came down between his legs. He shifted the toy and it was almost better than touching his dick. “Try and match me.” Drew encouraged. Drew added a second finger and Danny went from tense to limp. Muscles relaxing as he was dosed with some hormonal hit, that must have come at the stretch. Drew took Danny’s cock in his other hand, and Danny whimpered.

“Try to tell me what he sees, love.”

Drew kissed Danny's neck, and Danny turned his head to watch Kurtis fuck himself with the toy. Kurtis’ flexed, trying to convey how badly he wanted it to be Danny. He squeezed Danny's hand and Danny gasped. Drew pulled his hand off Danny’s cock.

“Oh, you like watching Kurtis want you.” Drew said. “Or maybe you like that Kurtis can see how badly you need to be fucked.”

Danny moaned, and his body tightened in spite of Drew being nowhere near his cock. Drew smiled, and his fingers slipped free too. Danny huffed in annoyance, and Drew repositioned him so that he was leant over Kurtis on all fours. Kurtis’s wrist didn’t stop. If anything it was even hotter having Danny over him, flushed and gorgeous, and horny. He felt it gathering and building inside him again.

“Kurtis,” Drew warned. It was a warning not to come, and a warning to pay attention to Danny. Because Drew was poised at his entrance.

“Oh, fuck,” Danny’s voice was weak, and gravelly with arousal. “Drew.” Danny’s body was pushed forward as Drew breached and filled him.

Kurtis, brought one hand to Danny’s face, and ran his thumb over the soft flushed skin. Danny’s eyes were so incredibly pretty and present, and lust-lined.

“I love-” Danny whispered.

Kurtis moaned. Then Drew pulled back and Danny flickered. Kurtis’ heart took off. “Is it big?” Kurtis said, quietly. Danny nodded, clearly overwhelmed. “Just slow then.” Kurtis said loud enough for Drew to hear. “You're doing so good.”

Drew stopped, allowing Danny a moment to get used to the feeling. Then he set a very slow pace. Danny’s forehead came down to rest against Kurtis' chest. Kurtis touched his hair, carded his fingers through it, and murmured soft words to Danny through the intensity of the first thrusts. He watched Danny’s eyes, and kissed him anytime it looked like they might lose him. 

Drew grabbed Danny’s dick, and Danny gasped into Kurtis’ skin. “Kurtis?” He whispered, pushing up with his arms so he could meet the smaller man’s eye.

Kurtis was so obsessed with watching Danny, he’d completely forgotten about his own pleasure. But when Danny’s face came up, his cock ached at how pretty he looked. “Mhm,” 

“Could I?” Danny started. “Ah-” Drew forced a sharp sound to tumble from Danny’s lips. Lips reddened from the kissing and the biting against the moans, and somehow Kurtis knew exactly what Danny was asking, without the words.

“Say you love me.” Kurtis said.

“I love you." Danny promised. Kurtis arched, and his body throbbed for Danny. Drew flexed his hips and it punched the wind from Danny's lungs.

“Keep your hand right here.” Kurtis said, placing Danny's hand on his hip. “If it moves then we stop.”

Danny nodded. “And I love you.” Kurtis added, then kissed him, begging forgiveness or praying for strength or whatever they needed to not fuck this up. 

Danny dipped down, and Drew threw Kurtis a concerned look, but then Danny's lips were opening to accept his cock.

“Ah-” Kurtis’ head went fuzzy. He’d forgotten how amazing it felt to have Danny’s mouth on him. His body thrummed with built-up tension unreleased, and it hardly took him anything to get him back to the precipice, where he’d left off.

Kurtis’ hand covered Danny's holding it there firmly letting him know that he was okay, his other wanted to cradle Danny’s face, and settled for threading the hair ever so gently.

“Fuck Danny, I'm close.” Kurtis breathed. His mouth was incredible, and Kurtis’ body was doomed to respond to the intimacy of it. Danny broke the seal to gasp and pant as his own orgasm rapidly approached. Drew's pace took on a more deliberate rhythm. Danny swallowed him again and Kurtis whimpered as his release surged up his spine.

“Danny,” Kurtis barely managed to choke out the word, before he was cumming hard into his mouth. The tension burst and sparked and kept coming in pulses. It set off a chain reaction, Danny came and Drew in response to him. While Kurtis was still wracked by the aftershocks, Drew groaned from the tightening of Danny, and then they heard Danny coughing, overflowing with cum. 

More spilled onto Kurtis’ pelvis and Kurtis dragged the man up his chest. Danny collapsed, totally spent. 

In the comedown Kurtis was seized by a wave of guilt almost as intense as his orgasm. His breathing picked up again, and Drew noticed. 

“Hey, no-” He said, extracting himself, and coming round to squat by Kurtis’ side. He pushed Kurtis’ sweaty curls back and kissed his temple. He reached down underneath Danny and carefully removed the plug from Kurtis’ ass. Kurtis arched as it was removed, and breathed through the panic.

“Stop thinking that.” Drew ordered. “He's totally okay, look.” Drew poked Danny in the side. He made a face and flinched away. Drew leaned over to kiss Danny's cheek. “Just tired and full of cum. Hmm?” Drew used a light teasing voice, and Danny made a face. “Come on, we really need to get you to the shower.” Danny made a low noise of protest in his throat. Drew issued a second plea. “I wanna get cleaned up, so we can cuddle.”

Danny coughed once more and pushed himself up. He smiled at Kurtis, with cum coating his chin. Kurtis’ heart surged.

“We did it, okay?” Drew said, helping Danny to his feet. Kurtis rolled his head back, chest brimming with a butterfly-like feeling that was almost too huge to contain. “And everything is good.” Drew reassured him one more time. The sharp drop was dissipating, and Kurtis thought that maybe everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind me, just still internally meme-ing. Please see this simplified guide to my characterization of boys:
> 
> Danny  
> -thinks he’s the cool one  
> -am I brave or dissociating?  
> -becomes an idiot after one drink  
> -frightened switch
> 
> Drew  
> -the mom friend  
> -anxious muttering  
> -anger allergies  
> -a dom for the people
> 
> Kurtis  
> -other people's emotions: empathize.   
> -his own: what the heck is this and how do I get it to leave me alone?  
> -teddy bear  
> -big nymph energy


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe it to be a crime to post smut without cuddly pillow talk afterwards, so this is it, this is the end. :)

Danny practically tackled Kurtis into bed. “We did it.” He said breathlessly. Kurtis’ heart attempted to beat back his anxiety and join Danny in his enthusiasm

“You did it.” Drew echoed, trailing after them like they were a pair of kittens. He sat down on the bed, and didn’t quite pull Danny away but he did wrap an arm around his shoulders, so he could plant a congratulatory kiss on his cheek. 

Kurtis sighed. They were cute. Why couldn’t his stress just quiet down and let him have this? Drew let Danny go, and he returned to Kurtis like a magnet, kissing him, and pressing his near naked body close.

After the kiss, Danny flopped onto his back to look at Drew. “That was so fucking good.”

He snuggled Kurtis to his side, and kissed the top of his head. It was more than good, Kurtis’ throat contracted. He turned his face into Danny's chest.

_Don’t cry._

“Kurtis?” Drew prompted, his voice low. 

“Shit, Kurtis-” Kurtis felt Danny's heart rate pick up. 

“No, I’m okay. It was really really good.” Kurtis affirmed hurriedly.

“I think he just had a bit of drop after.” Drew replied. Leaning into the pillows on Danny’s other side, but reaching across to pet down Kurtis’ hair. Drew touched Danny too, trying to keep them both in a good place. “Nothing Danny did scared you, right?”

Kurtis nodded sincerely, trying to control his breathing, “You were just scared something might go wrong?”

“Yeah,” Kurtis exhaled, relieved that Drew had put words to the feeling.

“Is it going away?” Danny asked. “Is there anything we can do?”

“I think I just need this.” Kurtis said, tightening the arm around Danny’s torso. Danny kissed his forehead, then leaned back to turn his attention to Drew. 

“Okay.” Danny said, and wrapped Kurtis up tight. The feeling was fading into the heat of Danny’s skin. Drew had put words to it, to which made the feeling less frightening to hold. He wasn’t upset by what happened. Rather he was afraid of something that hadn’t happened but could have. Danny smelled warm, which wasn’t really a smell, but Kurtis found it intensely comforting anyways. 

“Where did that even come from?” Danny turned to Drew. “You did not just improv that on the spot?”

Drew snorted a laugh. “So,” he began, somewhat hesitantly. “Sometimes when I’m mad I think about fucking you.”

Kurtis glanced up at Danny, who looked amused and also mildly concerned. Kurtis giggled. “We should piss you off more often.”

“You absolutely should not.” Drew replied. Danny’s brows were furrowed, processing, and Kurtis couldn’t believe he was only just realizing this now. Drew turned his attention to Kurtis, moving on with their conversation before Danny could question him further. “You’re not upset with me for prioritizing my... needs over yours?”

“You warned me.” Kurtis said.

“Was I the only one that didn’t know what was going to happen there?” Danny asked.

“He didn’t tell me much.” Kurtis said. “He just promised teasing and talking.”

“Which Kurtis enthusiastically agreed to.” Drew’s smug smirk made Danny pout.

“You should be more careful.” Danny said, with a squeeze of his shoulders. “He might not have even let you cum.”

Drew laughed. “I would have gotten around to it eventually.”

“He’s like a genie.” Danny said. “You have to be careful how you word it when you ask for things.” Kurtis laughed hard at that, hard enough that he got Danny giggling too.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess?”

Kurtis was still smiling when he finally had the breath to respond. “I like the way he does it.” 

“Danny, you’ve got to stop advocating for our masochists rights.” Drew said. “He doesn’t want them.”

“Never.” Danny promised, planting a kiss to the crown of Kurtis’ head. 

“Was that why you wanted to...”

“-suck you off?” Danny supplied.

Kurtis nodded. “Cause you felt bad for me?”

“No.” Danny said. “I just wanted to.” Drew touched Danny’s hair, petting it back gently. “And it wasn’t just to prove that I could either. Although, it kind of felt like a win afterwards. I just really wanted you to feel good.”

Danny's admission made Kurtis’ heart swell up till it felt almost uncomfortably full. 

“Could have fucked him, he was all ready for you.” Drew commented.

Danny lifted his eyes and tilted his chin back to look at Drew. “Yeah, you mentioned that.” The words were sarcastic. Then he lowered his face back into Kurtis' hair, his voice softening. “Maybe it was selfish, but when there’s that much going on, I get kind of fuzzy- and I just wanted to be there with both of you.”

Drew stole Danny’s mouth before Kurtis got a chance. So Kurtis just hugged him tightly, and watched them kiss. Drew let him free and breathed an apology across his lips. 

“It’s okay, it was good the way it was.” was Danny’s gentle reply, before he turned his attention to Kurtis. He tasted like Drew, and Kurtis adored it. “You’re not disappointed, are you?”

Kurtis shook his head.

“You two will have time to try again tomorrow before you fly out.” Drew suggested.

“We can’t fuck unsupervised.” Danny and Kurtis said at the same time and all three laughed.

“We could facetime?” Drew offered, jokingly. Kurtis rolled back from Danny’ side to check the side table.

“If we set you up there…” Kurtis said, eyeing the nightstand. “and we fucked in the morning, the lighting…”

Danny laughed. “No.”

“You have those like bluetooth headphones right?” Drew went on, heedless of Danny's protest. “Danny could wear the one with the mic and you could have the other one.”

“So you could hear him, and still tell us what to do!” Kurtis finished, excitedly.

“Oh my god, you guys…” Danny whined, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“Good thing you’re both good in front of a camera.” Drew said.

Kurtis turned back to rest his folded arms and chin on Danny’s chest. “Just let me have this? It makes me less sad about going home.”

Danny hugged him tight. “Fine, but Drew doesn’t get to tell us what to do.”

“He can make suggestions though.” Kurtis countered.

“Totally optional.” Drew said lightly, like they might actually be optional. And Danny’s face read pure exasperation. “Don’t be sad about going home. I doubt we’ll be apart more than a month. There always seems to be some excuse to get together.”

“Yeah.” Kurtis said, snuggling his face into Danny’s shoulder. “I just get horny.” 

“Speaking of Kurtis being horny.” Drew teased, trying his best to lighten the mood. “He almost came when I called you love.” 

Danny laughed in surprise. “You didn’t.”

“It wasn’t that.” Kurtis bit back bashfully. “It was that you meant it.”

Danny kissed him hard. “You’re weird. I love you.”

“Don’t get him going again.” Drew teased. “I can’t watch you guys fuck on the plane.”

“You’re not _actually_ going to supervise us fucking.” Danny said uncertainly.

“Tell that to the weirdo you love.”

Danny glanced down at Kurtis’ big pleading eyes. “Fuck.”

The three men laughed, and cuddled a while longer. Their good spirits held all the way to the airport, where Kurtis only cried a little bit at customs. But even on the return trip to their condo, with only Danny in the driver's seat, Kurtis felt more hopeful than he’d felt for a good long while.

He wasn’t cured, none of them were, but Adonis would not be the end of them, and that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light Author’s Note: Comment below if you need this Facetime Smut. Lol. 
> 
> Heavy Author’s Note: I was struggling to write the end of this fic, because everyone was hurting and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was like: everyone feels guilty, and there’s nothing that can be said or done that fixes that. Adonis is going to jail but that doesn’t make what he did disappear.
> 
> And I don’t know if you guys have ever felt guilty or ashamed about something that happened to you. If you have, you probably know that it doesn’t even really matter if it wasn’t your fault, sometimes it just still feels bad. Sometimes there’s a part of you that latches onto blaming yourself, and then that feeling grows into this sense that you are bad because of something that happened to you, when in reality it was just a thing that happened.
> 
> So I was sitting here, trying to write, still feeling bad about things that happened years and years ago, like if I knew how to stop feeling bad about that shit, wouldn’t I have done it? Lol.
> 
> And so, if the emotional turmoil doesn’t feel totally resolved, that’s why. Because I’m not really sure how to resolve those sorts of feelings, but I think that talking to people is important, and I think loving people can heal you in a way as well. 
> 
> So I hope this doesn’t come across as ‘magic dick down makes sexual assault go away’ because that really wasn’t my intention. Men and their sex drives can sometimes be perceived rather negatively, but in my experience, guys pursue sex for feelings of closeness and connection, just as much as they do it for physical pleasure. 
> 
> So yeah- this author’s note is too long, and probably has way too much introspection given the nature of the fic, but this fic pushed me to do some introspection. It pushed me to consider how my writing could affect real people. So I felt like I needed to add this. I hope that the story says this stuff for me, but in case I’m not as good a writer as I think I am and this wasn’t conveyed, here it is spelled out.
> 
> P.S. I have an idea for part 6 but I haven't started yet so hopefully in the new year but I'm not sure.
> 
> P.S.S. This series is such a wild ride. Thank you to everyone that got on board, and stayed on board. Lol.


End file.
